problems with bank cards

[iggypop37]

we have always let my father, who suffers from vascular dementia and lives with my mother , keep hold of a debit card for my their joint bank account, as a kind of comfort blanket apart from anything else.

we have now found that when going for the daily paper which is his allotted daily task, he has been going onto the bank and drawing money out. goodness knows how as there is no way he can remember his pin number (unless he has it written down somewhere secretly).

obviously neither my mother or I (son) are too happy about this as he has no need of vast amounts of cash and frankly it is a security risk.

we had power of attorney set up ready to exercise some time ago but have never exercised it. It may be approaching the point where we need to. It is easy enough to change the pin number but i fear there will be ructions if we need to take the bank card off of him, and i fear for the bank staff too if he is not allowed to draw cash out when he goes along. Help ! anyone had similar issues !

 

[MeganCat]

Could he have a card for a separate account that you can limit the cash in, to minimise what can be withdrawn - keep say £50 in it?

 

[Katrine]

Does he stash the cash at home, or has he been spending it? If you can find it then re-deposit it in another account. Some people photocopy bank notes as decoys. Would he notice if his stash was replaced with pretend notes? Someone could go with him to get the paper to see what he does. I hope he doesn't spend it all on scratchcards.

 

[Miss A]

Oh Iggypop37, this is a familiar story to me! I hope it can be a comfort to know you are not alone.

My Dad has mixed dementia and I had to make the difficult call to take him bank card off of him. I too am his POA. He was getting in a right pickle, he blocked the PIN number and instead of putting in his pin he would tap in his phone number. The clincher was when I found out £400, in 2 instalments, had been taken from his account in cash within 10 days of each other. This had been going on for 2 or 3 months.

I too was worried about how my dad would react, always has been a proud man. But I decided to take the bull by the horns and sat dad down and explained that I am worried about the amount of cash coming out his account. Dad didn't have a clue where the money had gone. He then also looked worried and I said dad I would like to look after your card for you. Which is what I do now, I take him shopping every week and that is when we get money out of the machine together. He has a weekly bidet then and can't get out a lot at a time. He is happy with this. I think in honest dad was relived because it was causing him confusion and stress. Dad actually thinks his Tesco club card is his bank card bless him.

It is a very difficult thing to do and I feel for you, as it hurt me when I did it BUT it is for your their safety.

Let us know how you get on.

Miss A x

 

[creativesarah]

I have a pay as you go debit card which you can top up and isnt linked to a bank account there are lots of them available