I know I rarely visit this site now. I guess that's cause my Dad is worse now. and on reading other threads feeling sorry for those in same situation. Visited him today at the care home and he does not know who I am now or anyone, he can not speak or make conversations no more, he will just let out grunts and facial expressions. I gave him tissue and I could make out that what he was trying to say was. I cant read that, he thought it was a newspaper.
By his expression I knew what he meant. but he is now like a young child before they can speak. When they point at things but cant say the words, that's how I describe it. He is thin now around 8 stones. He cant walk any more and has to be turned in his bed every two hours through out the night. He can sit in a chair in the dining area. But he can not comprehend anything any more and needs now total care. He is 84. I am an only child which makes it even worse. My Mum died when I was just 16 years old myself and I dont have a supportive family of relatives around, nor do they bother to visit him or care.
But I have my husband for support, as his Mum now has the same illness and she also is slowly getting worse but she is still living at her house. She is older then my Dad is but she can still do stuff around her house.
There are no answers for this illness and when I visit I vision in my head of him the way he was before he got like this. They say you should not go to the past but in these situations I think you have to. I close down when I am in there and just accept it. Rather then getting upset at what I see. Because there is nothing I or anyone else can do to change this.
All I think of is this. To be appreciative of what we have before it, I mean, those of us who can, see, hear, understand. All these things we now take for granted. Make our own decisions and choices. Because those with severe dementia have had this taken away from them.
I used to suffer with depression myself and in my 40's now. But I try not to let it upset me because I remember this saying. or similar to this.
Learn to accept the things that you can not change, and have the courage to change the things that you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
By his expression I knew what he meant. but he is now like a young child before they can speak. When they point at things but cant say the words, that's how I describe it. He is thin now around 8 stones. He cant walk any more and has to be turned in his bed every two hours through out the night. He can sit in a chair in the dining area. But he can not comprehend anything any more and needs now total care. He is 84. I am an only child which makes it even worse. My Mum died when I was just 16 years old myself and I dont have a supportive family of relatives around, nor do they bother to visit him or care.
But I have my husband for support, as his Mum now has the same illness and she also is slowly getting worse but she is still living at her house. She is older then my Dad is but she can still do stuff around her house.
There are no answers for this illness and when I visit I vision in my head of him the way he was before he got like this. They say you should not go to the past but in these situations I think you have to. I close down when I am in there and just accept it. Rather then getting upset at what I see. Because there is nothing I or anyone else can do to change this.
All I think of is this. To be appreciative of what we have before it, I mean, those of us who can, see, hear, understand. All these things we now take for granted. Make our own decisions and choices. Because those with severe dementia have had this taken away from them.
I used to suffer with depression myself and in my 40's now. But I try not to let it upset me because I remember this saying. or similar to this.
Learn to accept the things that you can not change, and have the courage to change the things that you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
