Hi everyone
Went with my step-dad to my mothers doctor on Monday, its a year since I first contacted the doctor with our family concerns and worries about her mental health, all this being done behind her back as last year my step dad tried to approach my mother by telling her as a family we had noticed changes in her, she flipped, dis-owned my brother at that point but has since forgot about it, but has been very sensitive to any approach, now he feels he can only side with her or his life is hell.
We were no further ahead even after her many visits to a from consultants and finally a CT scan a few months ago we still seemed to have no answers, though we new deep down the answers, my step-dad was told at the following appointment after the scan there were no abnormalities, as a family we felt in limbo having no answers. My mother co-operated with most appointments, hated the consultant on the first visit but loved them the next.
The reason we made the appointment to see the doctor as he has become desperate for some help and advice on what to do or where to go for help. As life has become very difficult for him at home, It was a sad day for us all as the doctor did confirm Alzheimers, as we suspected... but today am still in shock.
The doctor was very understanding and shocked this had not been explained at the later appointment with the consultant as he had all the notes on the results and had already made provisions for the social work to be in contact and was surprised they had not already been, he also is going to try and help her get the medication as she is only 65. But advises it has to be the consultants decision.
Sadly I do not stay near my parents, a plane journey away, but travel home as regular as I can, my stepdad needs as much support he can get, he still works full time and now my mother has lost all interest in cooking, cleaning, getting up in the nght, he is worn out and I worry for his health. I also worry constantly about the loss of my mother, grandmother and his wife and dread the day she does not know us, brothers and my family.
I dont really know our understand what stage she is at, only know I have seen over the the few years a drastic change in her mental ability, she was such intelligent woman, sewing, cooking, play any mind games, scrabble, cards, countdown you name it and beat us hands down therfore I found it sad when I tried to get her to play scrabble a few months ago and she could not concentrate, never mind not being able to put words together, taking 10 tiles instead of 7. Have to add I did humour her and believe I do have an understanding on this illness.
But as a family the stage we are at, is we have been advised by the doctor we need to tell her, before they can get the social services to help, as they do need her understanding and approval before they come into her home. Reading many of the discussions on here tonight am not sure what we should do for the best? Due to the previous approaches and the fear my step-dad has in not siding with her due to the outbursts, the doctor has offered to send out an appointment for her to come and see him and he will tell her.
I thank you for reading this, I have looked many times at this site for advice and help and have gained great understanding of the illness. And will be visiting many times again from now on. As we probably all do, its not until the diagnosis it becomes reality. Just wish I had came on and talked more about everything that has been happening over the last few years.
Fiona
Went with my step-dad to my mothers doctor on Monday, its a year since I first contacted the doctor with our family concerns and worries about her mental health, all this being done behind her back as last year my step dad tried to approach my mother by telling her as a family we had noticed changes in her, she flipped, dis-owned my brother at that point but has since forgot about it, but has been very sensitive to any approach, now he feels he can only side with her or his life is hell.
We were no further ahead even after her many visits to a from consultants and finally a CT scan a few months ago we still seemed to have no answers, though we new deep down the answers, my step-dad was told at the following appointment after the scan there were no abnormalities, as a family we felt in limbo having no answers. My mother co-operated with most appointments, hated the consultant on the first visit but loved them the next.
The reason we made the appointment to see the doctor as he has become desperate for some help and advice on what to do or where to go for help. As life has become very difficult for him at home, It was a sad day for us all as the doctor did confirm Alzheimers, as we suspected... but today am still in shock.
The doctor was very understanding and shocked this had not been explained at the later appointment with the consultant as he had all the notes on the results and had already made provisions for the social work to be in contact and was surprised they had not already been, he also is going to try and help her get the medication as she is only 65. But advises it has to be the consultants decision.
Sadly I do not stay near my parents, a plane journey away, but travel home as regular as I can, my stepdad needs as much support he can get, he still works full time and now my mother has lost all interest in cooking, cleaning, getting up in the nght, he is worn out and I worry for his health. I also worry constantly about the loss of my mother, grandmother and his wife and dread the day she does not know us, brothers and my family.
I dont really know our understand what stage she is at, only know I have seen over the the few years a drastic change in her mental ability, she was such intelligent woman, sewing, cooking, play any mind games, scrabble, cards, countdown you name it and beat us hands down therfore I found it sad when I tried to get her to play scrabble a few months ago and she could not concentrate, never mind not being able to put words together, taking 10 tiles instead of 7. Have to add I did humour her and believe I do have an understanding on this illness.
But as a family the stage we are at, is we have been advised by the doctor we need to tell her, before they can get the social services to help, as they do need her understanding and approval before they come into her home. Reading many of the discussions on here tonight am not sure what we should do for the best? Due to the previous approaches and the fear my step-dad has in not siding with her due to the outbursts, the doctor has offered to send out an appointment for her to come and see him and he will tell her.
I thank you for reading this, I have looked many times at this site for advice and help and have gained great understanding of the illness. And will be visiting many times again from now on. As we probably all do, its not until the diagnosis it becomes reality. Just wish I had came on and talked more about everything that has been happening over the last few years.
Fiona