The next stage...

[Amanda1954]

I haven't been on the forum for ages as there has been little change in my mum's AD. She's 87 and been diagnosed seven years so the progress has been really slow and she still lives in her own home on her own. But the last few months I have noticed a deterioration and in the last couple of weeks it has been more rapid. She has carers in for a bath a couple of times a week, and four times a week to help her get a meal but it's clear she needs more help now and I've contacted social services to have her reassessed with a view to increasing the number of visits and the amount of care. The trouble is that her behaviour is changing. She is getting verbally aggressive, refusing help and refusing to eat. The final straw for me was last night, the carer rang me to say mum was refusing to eat and also not taking her meds. Apparently the carer had given her the tablets, then had to go out to the car for something. When she came back she found mum hiding the tablets in her desk. It makes me wonder how long she's not been taking them and if this is the reason she's deteriorated so quickly.

If she's refusing help now, I assume her reaction will be even worse if I increase the visits. She sees the whole care package idea as an intrusion and doesn't think she needs any help. But she doesn't eat. She's tiny anyway and has lost more weight recently. I just don't know what to do.

This week I've been looking at a home for some respite for her when we go away for 3 weeks in May. My feeling is that the time may be coming for permanent residential care.

Sorry this is so long. Just getting it off my chest helps.



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[JayGun]

I haven't been on the forum for ages as there has been little change in my mum's AD. She's 87 and been diagnosed seven years so the progress has been really slow and she still lives in her own home on her own. But the last few months I have noticed a deterioration and in the last couple of weeks it has been more rapid. She has carers in for a bath a couple of times a week, and four times a week to help her get a meal but it's clear she needs more help now and I've contacted social services to have her reassessed with a view to increasing the number of visits and the amount of care. The trouble is that her behaviour is changing. She is getting verbally aggressive, refusing help and refusing to eat. The final straw for me was last night, the carer rang me to say mum was refusing to eat and also not taking her meds. Apparently the carer had given her the tablets, then had to go out to the car for something. When she came back she found mum hiding the tablets in her desk. It makes me wonder how long she's not been taking them and if this is the reason she's deteriorated so quickly.

If she's refusing help now, I assume her reaction will be even worse if I increase the visits. She sees the whole care package idea as an intrusion and doesn't think she needs any help. But she doesn't eat. She's tiny anyway and has lost more weight recently. I just don't know what to do.

This week I've been looking at a home for some respite for her when we go away for 3 weeks in May. My feeling is that the time may be coming for permanent residential care.

Sorry this is so long. Just getting it off my chest helps.



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We're not at this stage yet, but we all know it's coming. I really sympathise.

What's the home like that you've been looking at? Do they know how to handle the challenging behaviour of AD?

 

[Amanda1954]

Yes, it's fabulous. They take residential and dementia patients who share the same areas until the behaviour becomes a bit more challenging, then there is a separate 'safe' area for the dementia patients. So my mum could start in the main home first and move as necessary. The staff are wonderful. I was very impressed.


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[JayGun]

Yes, it's fabulous. They take residential and dementia patients who share the same areas until the behaviour becomes a bit more challenging, then there is a separate 'safe' area for the dementia patients. So my mum could start in the main home first and move as necessary. The staff are wonderful. I was very impressed.


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That's reassuring then. Does your mum know she's going for a little holiday in May?

 

[Amanda1954]

We have discussed it four times now but she forgets each time. She starts off not being very happy about it, then when I tell her about the home and how nice it is she is happier about it. She particularly likes the bit about the sherry before dinner!


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