Advice needed re MIL sleeping habits

[Margaret79]

MIL Has always slept a lot, we didn't wake her as didn't see the point in waking her so that she could sit in her chair and snooze.

She had a uti at the beginning of Dec and started antibiotics on Saturday for another one. She is now very unpredictable in both her behaviour and sleep pattern. I woke her yesterday at 2pm, she had been in bed since 10pm the night before. She was fine till it came to taking her pills at 9pm when she was very angry that we had stopped her from attending her father's funeral! Finally got pills down her and left her to it, she lives in a detached annex.

We can see what she's up to from our upstairs window and we have a motion sensor on the entrance so if she goes walk about we'd be woken by an alarm. Mostly these days she just potters around, watches tv, folds tissues for hours on end. She is spending more and more nights up, not going to bed.

Doesn't bother us as we don't hear her. I keep wondering if I should wake her up at the same time every day in the hope that she would go to bed at night of should I just leave her body clock to it. She is safe and warm, is it just me that wants her to conform our would there be an advantage for her? Any advice would be most welcome.

 

[Livine1]

Routine helps us and my loved one.

We've been really worried about my relative as she becomes disorientated and very confused without a clear morning/evening routine. We took turns sleeping and caring round the clock to monitor her, and to help her wake up every morning, have breakfast, nap is she wanted to, the get her up again. She's regained a night/ day understanding after about a week of this, and we've now installed a SAD light and timer which we're trying out to see if this triggers her own ability to wake and sleep.

It's all trial and error. My feeling is there is no substitute for a real, live person.

MIL Has always slept a lot, we didn't wake her as didn't see the point in waking her so that she could sit in her chair and snooze.

She had a uti at the beginning of Dec and started antibiotics on Saturday for another one. She is now very unpredictable in both her behaviour and sleep pattern. I woke her yesterday at 2pm, she had been in bed since 10pm the night before. She was fine till it came to taking her pills at 9pm when she was very angry that we had stopped her from attending her father's funeral! Finally got pills down her and left her to it, she lives in a detached annex.

We can see what she's up to from our upstairs window and we have a motion sensor on the entrance so if she goes walk about we'd be woken by an alarm. Mostly these days she just potters around, watches tv, folds tissues for hours on end. She is spending more and more nights up, not going to bed.

Doesn't bother us as we don't hear her. I keep wondering if I should wake her up at the same time every day in the hope that she would go to bed at night of should I just leave her body clock to it. She is safe and warm, is it just me that wants her to conform our would there be an advantage for her? Any advice would be most welcome.

 

[Saffie]

Hello Margaret. I hope you are ok.
I would think that nutrition is the main factor. Dave, in his nursing home sleeps a lot, possibly caused in part from his pain patch but when he is too sleepy to take his meals properly is when the nurse starts to be concerned.

As you say, to wake someone for them to then just doze in the chair seems a bit unnecessary but it does seem as though your MIL's body clock has gone a little squewiff. Maybe you could try to encourage her to get up at an earlier time and then see if she is tired enough to go to bed at a more reasonable time to. However, I wouldn't think it's the end of the world if she lives by her own pattern, just as long as she is having the usual intake of food and drink - and medication of course.Best wishes.

 

[Margaret79]

Thanks Livine1 and Saffie, I actually hate waking her up as she's deaf and becomes so distressed if I shake her. She does have an alarm clock that vibrates which we put in her pillow if we need her to get up.

We have wondered about a sad light alarm but she sleeps so deeply that going in and opening the curtains doesn't disturb her.

She eats very well, gets her own breakfast and tea but eats a cooked lunch with us. In the 3 years that she has lived with us she has always finished whatever is put in front of her so I have no worries about nutrition. She does however have to be continuously encouraged to drink.

Think maybe we'll just try putting her alarm on at 11am for a week and see what happens. At least she won't be eating lunch as soon as she gets up! Can't imagine anything worse myself, I don't even eat breakfast till I've been up at least an hour, usually 2 hours!

I'm ok thanks Saffie, suffering post Christmas lethargy and of course dealing with MIL when she's at her worst is challenging! But today the sun is shining so feel much better. Getting lunch ready now then meeting friend to take her 2 dogs and my 1 out to play.

Welcome to TP Livine 1, I hope that you get as much from being part of this great family as I do.