My husband, a few months older than me, has Alzheimer's and has always been fiercely "in charge". He's determined that we don't need any help, thank you very much. All very well, but I'm wilting.
He constantly insists that I ask him to do things, and so I do, but three years after his diagnosis there are now very few household tasks he can manage to do without my close attendance. He gets frustrated and blames me for not explaining things properly. These days the only thing I can be sure of is that he won't be able to do whatever it is that I ask...no matter how simple. But he follows me everywhere, and frequently takes over things I'm doing, and then can't do them, or simply forgets what he's doing and wanders off.
He never refuses to do anything I ask, but it's never the right time to do them...he'll always "do it later". So when he finally got round to cutting the grass this year it was late April, there were great clumps from the previous year's neglect, and the mower burned out. I arranged for a man to cut it for us, using the excuse that our mower was being repaired. But as soon as the mower came back, my husband sent the man packing, and wouldn't hear of any more help. He cut it a few times but after that there was always a reason to put it off. The last time was in July. Once or twice I've mentioned getting some help in the garden, and even told him we could get it free( not strictly true!) but he insists HE can do it.
That's just the garden;window cleaning, home repairs and maintenance, it's the same story. Our home is beginning to look a shambles, our family is concerned, but my husband is stubborn beyond belief, and gets into a rage with me if anyone suggests help.
Has anyone else had to deal with this type of problem? Any suggestions would be very welcome.
He constantly insists that I ask him to do things, and so I do, but three years after his diagnosis there are now very few household tasks he can manage to do without my close attendance. He gets frustrated and blames me for not explaining things properly. These days the only thing I can be sure of is that he won't be able to do whatever it is that I ask...no matter how simple. But he follows me everywhere, and frequently takes over things I'm doing, and then can't do them, or simply forgets what he's doing and wanders off.
He never refuses to do anything I ask, but it's never the right time to do them...he'll always "do it later". So when he finally got round to cutting the grass this year it was late April, there were great clumps from the previous year's neglect, and the mower burned out. I arranged for a man to cut it for us, using the excuse that our mower was being repaired. But as soon as the mower came back, my husband sent the man packing, and wouldn't hear of any more help. He cut it a few times but after that there was always a reason to put it off. The last time was in July. Once or twice I've mentioned getting some help in the garden, and even told him we could get it free( not strictly true!) but he insists HE can do it.
That's just the garden;window cleaning, home repairs and maintenance, it's the same story. Our home is beginning to look a shambles, our family is concerned, but my husband is stubborn beyond belief, and gets into a rage with me if anyone suggests help.
Has anyone else had to deal with this type of problem? Any suggestions would be very welcome.
