partner has had subdural heamatoma

[quish16]

Hi
I am new here. Not sure if I am posting in the right forum but I do know a subdural heamatoma can initially seem like dementia although some damage can be reversed. My partner is in hospital but hopefully will be discharged within a few days, Physically he doesn't seem too bad but mentally is still confused. OP feels he needs supervision re cooking which I can do but as long ago as October he was sleeping through the timer and left the ring on a couple times - she asked if we could disconnect cooker but he would be very angry if I did that. He is a very controlling person so I don't think the adjustment will be easy for him. I do wonder if he had the early signs of dementia before the haematoma. He was losing things, forgetting things, not sure if it was day or night sometimes, a nightmare to get to take his tablets, forgetting if he had had a bath........I do feel he was depressed because some days he wouldn't get dressed. I do know dementia is a nightmare to diagnose, especially if he won't co-operate. He is putting all the symptons down to the haematoma, and this can of course bring on dementia symptons .
He also has lupus and this year has been into hospital 3 times, first with AT, he was put on tablets but seemed to have a very bad reaction then was told he has lupus which could have caused some of the above symptons.
I am seeing OP later today and will discuss some concerns with her. Husband has mental capacity and is desperate to get home. He insists he is on just vitamins but after such a big op, I find that hard to accept. He is even saying when he gets the discharge paperwork through, he won't wait for his medications and will get a taxi home rather than waiting for an amubulance - I can live with the latter, but worry very much about him not having his medications.

So in a nutshell, I don't know what I am dealing with and what is wrong with him. He also has gout and oedema. I do know trying to take care of him will mean walking on eggshells. I am 51 and he is 74.

any advice or even just sharing experiences would be appreciated very much.

 

[Butter]

Welcome quish16. And I have every sympathy. Many of us walk on eggshells round here. We get sore feet too.

My first suggestion - which I have seen here a number of times - is that you start to keep a diary/record/log: a factual chronology of events and symptoms.

This has two purposes: for the doctors because it can help in their care of him and for yourself as it can help you keep your head round what is happening and how things change. It may help in working out cause and effect, too.

I think you should also bear in mind how much you can and can't do and watch your own health. I have been learning the hard way (I am 61) that I am not superwoman. And if I were to get ill my husband's situation would not improve - to put it mildly.

So I hope you get the amazing help and support (common sense, straight talking, practical knowledge ..) from this forum that I have done ... keep posting ... and I wish you all the luck in the world.

 

[quish16]

Thanks Butter. I did have a word with the consultant and he said that dementia testing couldn't be progressed so soon after a brain injury. Husband is desperate to come home but we have been offered some kind of care package - carers twice a day plus occupational therapy 2 x a week at home. It will be reviewed and assessed. The hospital said no one there thought husband could cope in a home environment without this support. I just hope they sort it out before he comes home because he could in theory discharge himself! A heamatoma does mimic dementia symptons but it is sometimes reverisible to an extent.
I will try to make some time for me. I breed and show norwegian forest cats so that is my main hobby. I don't drive so am limited somewhat. But I do have friends although not in this area. I don't know if husband will ever get his full mental facilities back - no one really knows. I do hope that I can keep on showing the cats - it is only around 6 times a year.
I may well try to get advice re attendance allowance and carers allowance. Looking at how husband was yesterday, I don't think I could leave him for long!
So am taking it day by day - know what you mean about sore feet! Husband very strong character and I get the feeling he is a very frightened man. Doctor said he was very good at fooling medical staff by appearing better than he was, but that he wasn't doing himself any favours. I am so torn between wanting to let him come home and getting the help in place first!