Do I answer the phone? urgent
- Thread starter Noorza
- Start date
Sorry, just logged on. Did you answer?
From experience if you don't answer will she keep calling? This used to happen to me, it is a difficult one. I would answer if you think you can take it, but if it becomes too much unplug the phone for a while. Have you got an answer phone? That is the best idea if it is the landline your Mum calls, just let the answer phone take the call, then she can rant away. If she genuinely needs help then you can pick up.
Best wishes.
From experience if you don't answer will she keep calling? This used to happen to me, it is a difficult one. I would answer if you think you can take it, but if it becomes too much unplug the phone for a while. Have you got an answer phone? That is the best idea if it is the landline your Mum calls, just let the answer phone take the call, then she can rant away. If she genuinely needs help then you can pick up.
Best wishes.
Mobile going mad, landline going mad, she will fill up the land line message service soon. I just can't take any more abuse, I know she is ill but she was punching and kicking my door this morning. I so hate dementia.
She is linked up to a telecare system so if she needs help they will sort it. Going by the number of calls its dementia temper.
Have you listened to the messages? If it is dementia temper, I would suggest you do not answer.
Only you can decide what is best. Sorry, I've not been much help.
Good luck
BG
Only you can decide what is best. Sorry, I've not been much help.
Good luck
BG
Oh dear, you have my sympathy. I hope the temper soon passes. From what you have said - don't answer the phone. She will have forgotten all about it soon.
I've not read all your posts, but looked at some just now regarding your sister. Are you thinking your Mum may be better off and safer in a care home?
2 years ago I had to make the decision and although it was a long and rocky road, it was the best thing I have ever done for my Mum and for me.
I've not read all your posts, but looked at some just now regarding your sister. Are you thinking your Mum may be better off and safer in a care home?
2 years ago I had to make the decision and although it was a long and rocky road, it was the best thing I have ever done for my Mum and for me.
You are the one with control of the situation here - you can choose not to answer the phone, she is the one who will be working herself up. Disconnect, leave room, and leave her to it - delete the messages collectively and ring back in an hour when she might have calmed down again.
Hi Noorza
I'm not sure how Telecare works, so forgive me if this is a silly response. Could you phone the telecare people and ask them if they think they need to go round to your Mum, or if they have been round/heard from her?
This must be very upsetting for you.
Take care Lyn T
I'm not sure how Telecare works, so forgive me if this is a silly response. Could you phone the telecare people and ask them if they think they need to go round to your Mum, or if they have been round/heard from her?
This must be very upsetting for you.
Take care Lyn T
Don't worry, my grandmother who has alzheimers calls around 40 times a day and we now have the answerphone not store it from that number and the carers in her sheltered housing scheme now disconnect her phone from a certain time at night till 7am in the morning as we have dementia temper and even have had the phone thrown at us when visiting cos she's been calling us and we've walked in the door, seen as we live 5 min walk away
I can totally sympathise. My Dad has days where he can ring me 50 times or more and my daughter the same. He sometimes has no idea who he's calling and leaves messages for other people he's known in the past swearing and getting angry with them. then the next time he calls he's just fine. The way I've approached it is to always call him at the same time, 9am, 1pm and 7pm and I tell him when I'm next going to call. This has reduced the number of calls quite often but not always and if I don't ring when I said I would he does get upset. It might not work for everyone or all of the time but maybe worth a try...
Tracy
Tracy
It'll be way too late now, but I agree with Miss Merlot about the control being yours. Thankfully I've not had full blown tantrums to deal with since my kids were toddlers, but I seem to remember it was best to just let them get on with it. Of course, the frustrations of toddlers don't have the heartbreaking losses of dementia at their base, so I'm not saying they're directly comparable or anything demeaning like that. What I am thinking is that they're storms you can't stop, so exhausting as it is and as long as you're confident your Mum's safe, it might be better to remove yourself until the storm's blown itself out. Hope that's happened and your nerves aren't too, too frayed, Toni x
Hi Noorza
That is a very good and positive move. Well done
You have to think of yourself at the moment or you will get carer burnout. Take it from someone who knows.You may have to keep phoning SS's to get this started as those who shout loudest etc etc.
Let us know if you have any more news if possible
Love from Lyn T
