It's really funny - though that's the wrong word to use, I know, as anything to do with dementia is no laughing matter - but the more posts I read, the more memories of my partner's weird behaviour (that's all I thought it was at the time!) come flooding back!
She told me - and I'm afraid, at the time, I believed every word! - that she had been burgled on several occasions. OK - I thought it possible, but unlikely, at the time and that was the explanation for her extreme security arrangements: 3" screws through the top of her six-foot fence, topped with 12" of wire netting, then with green plastic mesh netting stretching from the top of the fence to the nearest point of her house. Way over the top, I thought; but , perhaps, I couldn't take it all in, as I believed her stories of being a victim of repeated burglary! As, after all, her next-door neighbour was a 'tea-leaf' wasn't he? And, yes, being the post office manager of the local sorting office, he could have opened her mail, couldn't he? After all, he had every opportunity, didn't he? All this, and more, Marquita told me... and I began to believe every word! FOOL that I am! She was just so convincing!
It just had to be true, didn't it? After all, who on earth would have gone to such lengths to protect their property? How long do you think it would have taken to screw hundreds of sharp screws through a perimeter fence, covering all three sides of a garden? A week? Two? Three? A month? More likely! And what would her long-suffering neighbours have thought of her actions? It doesn't bear thinking about.
Marquita arrived on the scene, or so I've been told, in July 2004. Immediately her neighbours formed the opinion she was rather 'weird'! She spoke to no-one, she 'scampered' past their properties hood pulled up (even in summer!), head down, neither looking left or right. She went out every morning, and returned every night.
In 2005, she 'summoned' the 'top executive' of street lighting. She didn't like the street light outside her house. It had to be moved, she told him. But, where? he asked. To the left? Or right? No, she said, I don't want it there! But, it's been there since 1972, he told her. I don't care, she replied, I don't want it, it has to go! When asked just where would she like it, she told him on the other side of the road.
But, he said, it was there when you bought the house, so why did you buy it? She just remained adamant it had to go!
He then told her he would work out a price to have it removed and would let her know the cost.
"I'm not paying for it!" she shouted at him, "I'm on benefits!" So, the light remained!
But, just why did she want it removed? It didn't block her driveway - anyhow, she didn't have a car - neither did it cause light pollution at night, because she slept at the back of her house.
Then, one day, she told me of a man, all dressed in black, with a balaclava covering his face, peering through her bedroom window during the early hours. As she slept upstairs he was either in of excess 12 feet tall, or he had a ladder! I tried, but failed, to talk her out of that one. She said he was a policeman 'spying on her'.
I once found a calendar (she kept everything from year dot!), and, on the back of one page, she'd written: 'I went on the bus to Watton today, and the police followed me all the way in their car.' There was another entry too: 'When I arrived in Norwich today, the police helicopter followed me all the way from the bus station... I lost them by going into Castle Mall!'
Marquita was so paranoid about the police.
I think this started after she had called them out several times, as she said she had prowlers in her garden, or outside her house. Each time they came they found no-one. All this, her neighbours have told me, although she did mention some of it to me as well.
Please don't think Marquita's neighbours are vindictive, or troublemakers, because they are not. They are just ordinary people, who wanted to be friendly towards her, but she would never let them into her little world.
On another occasion, apparently, she called the police as her 'boyfriend' had 'roughed her up'. When they arrived, again, on-one was found and, when asked, she couldn't give a name or identity to her 'boyfriend'. Luckily for me, it was before my time!
When we met, Marquita mad a big thing of telling me she hadn't been in an 'intimate relationship' since the loss of her two sons (through drugs, I later discovered!) in 2003/2004. This wasn't true, of course, as her neighbours told me she'd had a great many 'men friends' over the years, and they used to joke about 'how this one would last' - including me! They were mortified when, in February, they heard that we'd become engaged to be married!
It seems to me now, Marquita became who she would have liked to have been and acted the part well, because of her illness. And, knowing what I now know, even our relationship followed a pattern.
When we became engaged, on St Valentine's Day this year, Marquita told me her previous partner had wanted them to become engaged but she said 'no'. This, as I found out later, was not true.
They were engaged, and, in fact, she arranged someone to make their rings for them. Hers was a blue sapphire stone. And, do you know what? She chose the same colour with me!
Their engagement lasted three months, then she 'high-tailed' it to Norfolk, deserting her fiancé. And, after three months, she tried the same with me! On the day before her sectioning, Marquita bought a train ticket from Norfolk to Wales! She never mentioned a thing to me! If she hadn't been in such mental decline she could have managed it, but, the next day - when she was due to travel to Wales - the local police became involved - as it was thought she was about to harm herself - and she was assessed by the CRHT people, and sectioned. Sad, but true!
Later, I was to discover something she never mentioned to me, although I passed the information on to her doctors.
In a letter of apology for 'not doing very well' in a BSL examination in 2001, she said: "Since my road accident, when I received sever head injuries, I have found it hard to concentrate. And the stroke I suffered later didn't help matters either..."
She would have been about 51 then. So, could it have been that the head injuries caused the stroke, then, together, brought on dementia?
What do you think? I would be most interested to know.
Best wishes to you all
Boy Albie
She told me - and I'm afraid, at the time, I believed every word! - that she had been burgled on several occasions. OK - I thought it possible, but unlikely, at the time and that was the explanation for her extreme security arrangements: 3" screws through the top of her six-foot fence, topped with 12" of wire netting, then with green plastic mesh netting stretching from the top of the fence to the nearest point of her house. Way over the top, I thought; but , perhaps, I couldn't take it all in, as I believed her stories of being a victim of repeated burglary! As, after all, her next-door neighbour was a 'tea-leaf' wasn't he? And, yes, being the post office manager of the local sorting office, he could have opened her mail, couldn't he? After all, he had every opportunity, didn't he? All this, and more, Marquita told me... and I began to believe every word! FOOL that I am! She was just so convincing!
It just had to be true, didn't it? After all, who on earth would have gone to such lengths to protect their property? How long do you think it would have taken to screw hundreds of sharp screws through a perimeter fence, covering all three sides of a garden? A week? Two? Three? A month? More likely! And what would her long-suffering neighbours have thought of her actions? It doesn't bear thinking about.
Marquita arrived on the scene, or so I've been told, in July 2004. Immediately her neighbours formed the opinion she was rather 'weird'! She spoke to no-one, she 'scampered' past their properties hood pulled up (even in summer!), head down, neither looking left or right. She went out every morning, and returned every night.
In 2005, she 'summoned' the 'top executive' of street lighting. She didn't like the street light outside her house. It had to be moved, she told him. But, where? he asked. To the left? Or right? No, she said, I don't want it there! But, it's been there since 1972, he told her. I don't care, she replied, I don't want it, it has to go! When asked just where would she like it, she told him on the other side of the road.
But, he said, it was there when you bought the house, so why did you buy it? She just remained adamant it had to go!
He then told her he would work out a price to have it removed and would let her know the cost.
"I'm not paying for it!" she shouted at him, "I'm on benefits!" So, the light remained!
But, just why did she want it removed? It didn't block her driveway - anyhow, she didn't have a car - neither did it cause light pollution at night, because she slept at the back of her house.
Then, one day, she told me of a man, all dressed in black, with a balaclava covering his face, peering through her bedroom window during the early hours. As she slept upstairs he was either in of excess 12 feet tall, or he had a ladder! I tried, but failed, to talk her out of that one. She said he was a policeman 'spying on her'.
I once found a calendar (she kept everything from year dot!), and, on the back of one page, she'd written: 'I went on the bus to Watton today, and the police followed me all the way in their car.' There was another entry too: 'When I arrived in Norwich today, the police helicopter followed me all the way from the bus station... I lost them by going into Castle Mall!'
Marquita was so paranoid about the police.
I think this started after she had called them out several times, as she said she had prowlers in her garden, or outside her house. Each time they came they found no-one. All this, her neighbours have told me, although she did mention some of it to me as well.
Please don't think Marquita's neighbours are vindictive, or troublemakers, because they are not. They are just ordinary people, who wanted to be friendly towards her, but she would never let them into her little world.
On another occasion, apparently, she called the police as her 'boyfriend' had 'roughed her up'. When they arrived, again, on-one was found and, when asked, she couldn't give a name or identity to her 'boyfriend'. Luckily for me, it was before my time!
When we met, Marquita mad a big thing of telling me she hadn't been in an 'intimate relationship' since the loss of her two sons (through drugs, I later discovered!) in 2003/2004. This wasn't true, of course, as her neighbours told me she'd had a great many 'men friends' over the years, and they used to joke about 'how this one would last' - including me! They were mortified when, in February, they heard that we'd become engaged to be married!
It seems to me now, Marquita became who she would have liked to have been and acted the part well, because of her illness. And, knowing what I now know, even our relationship followed a pattern.
When we became engaged, on St Valentine's Day this year, Marquita told me her previous partner had wanted them to become engaged but she said 'no'. This, as I found out later, was not true.
They were engaged, and, in fact, she arranged someone to make their rings for them. Hers was a blue sapphire stone. And, do you know what? She chose the same colour with me!
Their engagement lasted three months, then she 'high-tailed' it to Norfolk, deserting her fiancé. And, after three months, she tried the same with me! On the day before her sectioning, Marquita bought a train ticket from Norfolk to Wales! She never mentioned a thing to me! If she hadn't been in such mental decline she could have managed it, but, the next day - when she was due to travel to Wales - the local police became involved - as it was thought she was about to harm herself - and she was assessed by the CRHT people, and sectioned. Sad, but true!
Later, I was to discover something she never mentioned to me, although I passed the information on to her doctors.
In a letter of apology for 'not doing very well' in a BSL examination in 2001, she said: "Since my road accident, when I received sever head injuries, I have found it hard to concentrate. And the stroke I suffered later didn't help matters either..."
She would have been about 51 then. So, could it have been that the head injuries caused the stroke, then, together, brought on dementia?
What do you think? I would be most interested to know.
Best wishes to you all
Boy Albie
