Looking for a care home - where to start!!! - With a resident pet???

[Sparrows]

My mum lives in the vale of glamorgan. She has vascular dementia. It is fairly advanced - she hasn't left the house unaccompanied for more than a year and does nothing for herself at all. But she is mobile and in reasonable physical health. She is only 79. The big fly in the ointment is that she is extremely attached to her dog - a springer spaniel -9 years old - the one constant feature in her life - and the one thing she never forgets - although she no longer feeds it - except chocolate brownies, biscuits etc and never takes it out - but that is another complex story (my poor sister - who lives nearby - adds it to her long list of things she has to do to look after my mum on top of her full time job).

We need to find a care home but we don't know where to start. Is there any reliable source that would help me draw up a bit of a shortlist to visit over a few days? I am planning to take a week of holiday next month, so that my sister and I can tramp the streets together. In a perfect world (ha ha) we are looking for somewhere that ideally has a residential pet, or visits from PAT dogs.

 

[PeggySmith]

Hi Sparrows,

I'm just about a day ahead of you in the search for a care home

Your Local Authority will provide you with a list of care homes in your area. As our LA is tiny, I used an on line site to find all the care homes within a reasonable distance and ended up with a list of 12. I phoned them all yesterday and explained the situation. My MIL has vascular dementia like your mum and has been managing at home with family and carers who go in 4X a day. Sadly, her mobility is now so poor that she needs residential care.

Making all the calls yesterday, I found out that each of the homes offered something a bit different and ended up with a list of 4 possibles, one of which accepts pets "by arrangement". I decided not to ask about fees on first contact but gave them a bit of information about MIL and asked two questions - morning staffing ratios and dementia trained staff. It was very revealing.

 

[AlsoConfused]

Just in case you're not able to find the right care home for your Mum which will also accept her dog ...

Clearly it wouldn't be fair to your sister or the dog for her to take care of the dog on a full-time basis.

Many of the breed societies run foster and rescue services. If you need anyone to take over the care of your Mum's dog, perhaps they'd be able to offer a local "adopter" or "fosterer" who could commit to taking the dog to see your Mum twice a week or so?

The Cinnamon Trust provide home-based (not kennel) accommodation and second homes for the pets of elderly or disabled owners.

Hope this helps ...

 

[Janey64]

Hi Sparrows

Last November I had to arrange for my mother to go into residential care, she is 83 and has Alz dementia. She is totally self funding and the LA/ social worker were not particulalry interested. I decided not to make an issue out of this but thats another story.

Anyway,what I wanted to post was that I used a firm called Grace Consulting to locate a short list of suitable homes in the area where my mother lived. I live some considerable distance away and work fulltime. I did not have the time to research it. During our discussion of my Mothers needs the question of her cat came up. Grace Consulting suggested it might be possible to find a Home that would take the cat too. They found 3 and out of those I chose one, where Mother and the cat were admitted. It was a good move as it enabled mother and the cat to settle in really well.

 

[Claire]

Don't give up hope - there are homes where pets are allowed as visitors. On the day Mum moved into her home and they were asking about her likes and dislikes they said stright away that I could take our dog to visit her whenever I liked, as it was her home now and her life could continue as before, as much as possible. The home also had visits from PAT dogs. Since Mum passed away I have still been able to take my dog to visit the other residents, as many of them remember pets of their own.

Hope you find somewhere suitable.

 

[turbo]

I have sent you a Private Message. My mum is in a Care Home in Cardiff.


turbo

 

[Sparrows]

Hello

I can't tell you how grateful I am for all these responses - I haven't been able to check until now because I am at work today.

I have found one home that takes dogs - part of the Sunrise group - based in Cardiff - it does sound lovely - but I think it might be beyond our price range. My mum is so "young" (and physically fit, relatively speaking) that we have been advised not to look at the most expensive homes as even though she has a house to sell, it may not be enough, and I want to buy and Immediate Care Plan so that I can be sure that her fees are covered for life, as neither of us can afford to pay them ourselves if she runs out of money. I am looking for something around £600 per week.

Even if we can't keep her with the dog, I'd like to find one that has its own dog - or some other pet you can interact with. I love the idea of being able to take the dog to visit.

We have not been able to broach the subject of a care home with my mother, and I really don't know how we are going to be able to make it happen, but I feel I need to do the homework, as it is now beyond doubt to me that she should be in residential care.

Thanks very much for the tip about the Cinnamon charity. My husband mentioned this too. I do really feel for the poor dog. Her life is so miserable. But there is nothing we can do to get her out of there - it is just impossible - and my mother is visited by carers several times a day, and some of them do eg make sure the dog eg gets let out in the garden. My mother believes that she still walks her twice a day, and will not countenance anyone else outside the family walking her, even as a companion to my mum. She was always very stubborn - even before the disease, although she would hate to think she was being cruel - she reacts very angrily to anyone who picks her up on her treatment of the dog.

 

[Timeout]

Hi - I have pm'd you too - our mum is in a care home with a dog fairly near to you - it is a council run home and is lovely x

 

[Sparrows]

Thanks for PM'ing me - I hope I replied successfully to you both! I've not done this before. My sister says the one in Cardiff looks particularly hopeful as it is quite near her work, so I am going to give them a call tomorrow. Thanks again - how great to be so supported - even in the worst of times!