Working from home

[SnowLeopard17]

At the end of this month i am being made redundant With my husband's increasing care needs i am considering working from home and was wondering what experiences people had of this?

My husband has recently started going to a day centre one day a week for 5 hours - not entirely successful but not disastrous either. We will persist and it may be possible to increase this to two days in due course.

I need to work as this is our primary source of income (i am only 50), not to mention for my own self worth, esteem and sanity! If I work from home i will still need to visit clients (if i get any!) and this will hopefully help with my need for social interaction with others.

Does anyone out there work from home around their loved ones needs? How has this been for you, what strategies have you worked out to enable it to be successful and any other tips, comments etc would be most welcome.

SnowLeopard, with love x

 

[Jo1958]

Oh Snow Leopard I wish I could be positive for you, but

I did try to work from home, after working full time, then part time and then having to be at home for hubby, it didn't work for me, I became a full time carer very quickly because I was there, I was there so he needed me, or he needed me so I was there, I don't know.

If you can get outside help in or daycare to cover your working hours then maybe, but I found that any time off was taken up with housework, paperwork, just catching up with all the things that weren't possible when we were just getting on with getting on with life.

Fingers crossed that you are more organised than I ever was and that it works out well for you both.
With kind regards from Jo

 

[julientuareg]

I think it would depend on what sort of work. I am supposed to be oncall overnight and weekends, answering phone calls and dealing with workers issues. Absolutely impossible to do with my partner around, I almost needed hospital treatment following one busy weekend. Luckily my work friends took pity on me and now do my oncall for me.
If you were doing something like ironing from home then I think it could possibly work as you could pick it up and put it down when it suited.

 

[Margaret W]

I worked from home when my children were little, 30 years ago. You basically run two lives - that of mother and that of worker. It isn't possible to spend 5 hours a day working and ignore the kids. The only time you can get on with it is if someone else looks after them, either in a day care facility, or if you have a family member who will have them one day a week. Otherwise you are snatching 20 minutes here, and 20 minutes there, which doesn't get you chance to focus at all on the job to be done, and leaves you exhausted.

I do admire you for wanting to try. Are you one of David Cameron's Strivers? I think so. But if it doesnt work out you will be a skiver. Methinks there will be a lot of people doing stirling work in looking after mentally sick rellies who are going to fall under the skiver label.

But let's not get political, just do your best.

Love

Margaret

 

[Rosieposie]

Hi Snowleopard,

I'm working from home as a childminder, it has some advantages, but at this present time I am finding it increasingly difficult and am seriously considering giving up work to become a full time carer, but dont know if I could survive financially, it is something I am looking into now. I knew this day would come but it is very difficult and stressful.
My husband is 58 and has vascular/mixed dementia and this passed 6 weeks or so things worsened considerably. We have anger/agitation issues and incontinence issues and really finding it difficult to cope, also my husband refuses to go to my parents now while I'm working so is very difficult to care for him and children (although my own children who are now adults help out alot).
Hope things work out for you.

 

[Vivienne3]

I work full time and to be honest it is the only thing that has kept me going. We came to the stage when we made the painful decision that he needed more specialist care than I could give and he went into a home and it is working well even though I miss him so much. However if I didn't have my job outside of the home I would not get up now in the morning. So my advice would be to interact with people as much as you can and keep the working and home life separate. Maybe rent a small office space near home so you are close. I received help via the social worker where someone came each day to help with food and drink but I could be home in 10 mins if there was a problem. It gave me the break that I needed even though I was working. Good luck with your business.

 

[Marina1974]

It depends on what u want to do, what work are u thinking of doing?

 

[SnowLeopard17]

I did try to work from home, after working full time, then part time and then having to be at home for hubby, it didn't work for me, I became a full time carer very quickly because I was there, I was there so he needed me, or he needed me so I was there, I don't know.

Jo, this is my real conern. At the moment we have a routine, that whilst not perfect, works for the most part. That routine starts at 6.00am with me leaving for work at 8.15am returning around 2.30pm. Our daughter is home most days and is therefore able to keep an eye on dad and keep him company. We do have difficulties but we have managed to maintain this routine for some time now. Over the past few months I have reduced my hours as my husbands needs have increased and now when i am at home following redundancy I can see how easily the dependency would increase and i would find myself as a full time 24/7 carer as you say. I am not sure that this situation would benefit either of us in the long term for all sorts of reasons.

julientuareg
'I think it would depend on what sort of work'
I would do bookkeeping/managements accounts. It may be that i can work at client premises - though i do need to get clients first! There is no doubt that working from home will be problematical as i would need to concentrate and i know this will be difficult for hubby to understand.

Margaret, i guess i have always had a strong work ethic, but I need to do something for myself, for my own self worth. I believe i can be a better carer for my husband if i can keep on top of my own mental and physical health.

RosiePosie, i really feel for you. It is so difficult. It is becoming increasingly difficult for us and i have considered 'throwing in the towel' as far as work is concerned but I don't want the wolf at the door. Have you tried day care for your husband, or is this something he won't consider? Please let me know how you get on and what you decide.

Viviene, i took redundancy as my office relocated. I was 10 mins from home before the move, i am now about an hour a way, more if trafic is bad. Given my husband's diagnosis and current needs this unfortunately is not an acceptable situation but i must admit i am really struggling with my decision - the future scares me for all sorts of reasons, but once i leave my current employment the loss may be greater than i anticipate, and i don't mean financially. I agree interaction with others is important so i need to work out ways to ensure this is not lost.

Thank you for all your replies they are very much appreciated.

with love, SnowLeopard x