Meeting set up.

[jan.s]

I have just got home, and have been told that the meeting is on Friday. I feel kind of calm now I know when it is to be. The consultant is going to be there.

I had a lovely visit again today after a slow start. As I walked in I met the manager who bombarded me with numerous negatives!! What a surprise.

I shall battle on, and hope to get a good resolution on Friday.

It was great because a friend of mine came down this afternoon to see him. I asked her for her honest feedback, which I know I got . She loved the home and can see why I want him to stay there. She doesn't feel he has deteriorated much since she last saw him 6 months ago. He looked so much happier and contented she said.

Can we all be wrong?

Jan x

Jan x

 

[Saffie]

It always helps when someone not directly involved backs you up, doesn't it. I'm so glad that your friend like the home and, even more importantly that she thought that your husband looked contented. It all helps.

You can rest now, knowing that you have laid the groundwork for the meeting so that a hopefully positive outcome with be forthcoming. Well done - and I hope you sleep better.

 

[Grannie G]

Good news Jan. I`m so please R is happy and contented and your friend was impressed with the home. It looks like the weak spot is the manager.

I just hope all will go well on Friday.

 

[winda]

Hi Jan, it would seem that the only person who can't see how well things are going is the CH manager. What on earth is wrong with her? She is definitely in the wrong job I think.

Great that you had a good visit today and that your friend agrees with you about the home and how contented your husband was.
Everything is on your side so you just have to get through the meeting on Friday. Hopefully the consultant will be able to view things more intelligently than the CH manager. Will keep my fingers crossed.

 

[2jays]

I do hope for your sake that the care home manager is shown up to be unsuitable for her job at that care home. - it may not help immediately, and you may have to move R but if you felt more people were on your side, it may help

Not posting much, but always lurking, and think of you often x

 

[jan.s]

Thank you Saffie, Sylvia and Winda. I feel like I am the only person who knows the true R. When I went in, the CH manager started telling me about all the things she felt were wrong with him!!! She has apparently shared this with the SW, who I haven't spoken to yet. I now think I'm married to a scruffy, malnourished psycho!

I know I'm not. I know he's still the same person, but with dementia. I shall continue my fight for him.

I so appreciate your support. Thank you.

Jan x

 

[jan.s]

I do hope for your sake that the care home manager is shown up to be unsuitable for her job at that care home. - it may not help immediately, and you may have to move R but if you felt more people were on your side, it may help

Not posting much, but always lurking, and think of you often x

Thank you 2Jays. I have suggested that maybe her regional manager may like to attend the meeting!

Jan x

 

[winda]

Words fail me.

 

[winda]

Thank you 2Jays. I have suggested that maybe her regional manager may like to attend the meeting!

Jan x

Good idea Jan. I bet she didn't like that?

 

[jan.s]

Words fail me.

They did me too. I didn't even bother to answer her. This afternoon, he went to the hairdresser, had his hair washed and cut, his neck clipped and his eye brow cut. She even used her clippers on his stubble, because it looks awful.

He sat there like a little lamb!! and was so pleased that he looked better. I think he felt better. I asked the carer (the armed guard) to help me to give him a bath, but she didn't want to!!!!

Mmmmmm!!!

Jan x

 

[jan.s]

Good idea Jan. I bet she didn't like that?

Time will tell, as to whether he turns up or not.

 

[Sox]

Well done Jan - I am full of admiration for you. I was going to suggest having a word with the superior of the CH Manager but i see you had already thought of that - I am a great believer in "going to the top"!! I do hope you have a good meeting and a succesful outcome on Friday. Good luck to you both and take care. Sox

 

[jan.s]

Well done Jan - I am full of admiration for you. I was going to suggest having a word with the superior of the CH Manager but i see you had already thought of that - I am a great believer in "going to the top"!! I do hope you have a good meeting and a succesful outcome on Friday. Good luck to you both and take care. Sox

Thank you Sox. I shall give it my best shot. I am just concerned about the impact it will have on him if he has to move. I will face that when we know the results.

Jan x

 

[Pheath]

Dear Jan

Very best of luck ahead of Friday, it must be very hard living with so much uncertainty but hopefully everything will go your way. That was an excellent idea inviting the regional manager, if you can get him/ her on side then it will carry a great deal of weight. I think I would have crumbled by now but you’re doing fantastically well holding strong and fighting for what you know is right.

Take care and as others have said try to make some time just for yourself too - you deserve it!

Px

 

[jan.s]

Dear Jan

Very best of luck ahead of Friday, it must be very hard living with so much uncertainty but hopefully everything will go your way. That was an excellent idea inviting the regional manager, if you can get him/ her on side then it will carry a great deal of weight. I think I would have crumbled by now but you’re doing fantastically well holding strong and fighting for what you know is right.

Take care and as others have said try to make some time just for yourself too - you deserve it!

Px

Thanks P. I am not far from cracking, I must admit. I spend the whole time with a headache, but feel I must fight for the rights of my husband. I find I dread each day! I can only hope that life improves soon. Thank you for caring.

Jan x

 

[Pheath]

It must feel like you’re walking on a knife’s edge at present, forever dreading the phone going or what might greet you when you arrive at the CH. We’ve definitely experienced our share of that too and it’s not nice at all. However am sure this will just be a temporary state of affairs and after Friday this feeling of limbo will lift and you will have more security about how things stand and can move forward. Will be thinking of you. Px

 

[jan1962]

Hi Jan,

just had to post to wish you luck for Friday. i dont know what the problem the home manager has can only think she has taken a dislike to your husband and do you know what i say to that get another job your not fit to be a manager. hope area manager can make the meeting , if not can you not make an appointment with him/her to discuse what is/has happend.

cant beleive that the armed guard would not help assist you to bathe your husband, what are they there for?

as others have said take time for your self and recharge your battery ready for Friday. write down all the points you want to raise and take notes or ask for a copy of the transcript of the meeting.

your hubby is one lucky man to have you on his side. dont let the manage get to you.

send best wishes and hugs.

jan1962

 

[jan.s]

Hi Jan,

just had to post to wish you luck for Friday. i dont know what the problem the home manager has can only think she has taken a dislike to your husband and do you know what i say to that get another job your not fit to be a manager. hope area manager can make the meeting , if not can you not make an appointment with him/her to discuse what is/has happend.

cant beleive that the armed guard would not help assist you to bathe your husband, what are they there for?

as others have said take time for your self and recharge your battery ready for Friday. write down all the points you want to raise and take notes or ask for a copy of the transcript of the meeting.

your hubby is one lucky man to have you on his side. dont let the manage get to you.

send best wishes and hugs.

jan1962

Thank you so much Jan. I cannot believe what I am hearing these days. I know he has a problem .. it's called Alzheimer's and that is not a predictable illness.

I am looking to book myself a massage before Friday - my whole body feels like one tight knot! I have my notes done and am adding to my diary each day. I feel like I am the only person who knows how to make him tick!!

As P says, I dread the phone ringing and driving up there for fear of what I will hear. I just hope I have some support from the professionals at the meeting. I don't feel I can trust anyone at the moment.

Roll on Saturday, it will be over and I will know where I stand.

Thank you Jan.

Jan x

 

[shauna]

Hi Jan
Just wanted to wish you well with your meeting on fri. I wonder if its possible for you to take someone with to the meeting maybe a family member or a friend. When i had to attend meeting re my mum's care i always took one of my siblings and they would take notes while i did the talking.Its only a suggestion but sometimes two heads are better than one and it would be great support for you.Its a very tough battle for you and its hard to stay strong but you are fantastic the way you cope.

Massage sounds like a great idea just what the doctor ordered enjoy it and be kind to yourself.

Shauna

 

[jan.s]

Hi Jan
Just wanted to wish you well with your meeting on fri. I wonder if its possible for you to take someone with to the meeting maybe a family member or a friend. When i had to attend meeting re my mum's care i always took one of my siblings and they would take notes while i did the talking.Its only a suggestion but sometimes two heads are better than one and it would be great support for you.Its a very tough battle for you and its hard to stay strong but you are fantastic the way you cope.

Massage sounds like a great idea just what the doctor ordered enjoy it and be kind to yourself.

Shauna

Thank you Shauna. Unfortunately the only family member i have has gone to live in usa for a year! I shall try to take a friend, or someone suggested Age UK.

Thank you for your good wishes.

Jan xx