I think that sending cards, letters and photos is a good idea, and if you put people's names on the photos and the relation they have to your mum it would help the staff to be able to name whoever it is and talk about them and to recognise that she is not just a person in a vacuum. My dad would read the post several times a day not knowing he'd already done so, and anything like this would be a joy each time, and actually was remembered. I was lucky though because he didn't get as far as full blown dementia, although sometimes he was pretty poorly.
This next bit souinds a bit preachy, and I'm going to say it anyway: Whatever happens don't spend too much time thinking about it and blowing it all out of proportion (I hate washing up, and do that, putting it off for ages, then, when I do do it, and it only takes 10 minutes!), so just give things a go and do them. Ask for some advice from the home as well to see if they have any suggestions about what she might be interested in. That could be helpful - and ask them about the phone, please. If they say it's a nuisance, ask why, and what they would suggest. There may be better times to call, and they may be able to tell you what other relatives do.
Do you knit - make her some gloves, or a teddy, or crochet a heart, and sew on a tag with who it/they is/are from so the staff can repeat over and over who it is from.
I know it's already been said, and I strongly agree that you do have to enter her world, and me and my dad did do a lot of reminiscing, often prompted by me... It meant I learned more about him than I had previously known, and I could then use it as a distraction tactic. I got to hear the same stories over and over, but that's the nature of it. One day you will miss having that voice there, so just take a deep breath and go for it.
Another thing we found really useful was that dad also had a small photo album with pictures of the family at birthday parties, and his house (all labelled) which went with him to hospital every time (made the staff realise he's a person with people who care, too, not just a patient). It gave us something to talk about, too.
Good luck, and try and involve the home in all you are doing - they are meant to be helping your mum out as well as caring for her needs. It might help you to set a time and day when you do this, too, so that it doesn't overshadow your whole time. I hope it goes well for you - I know the anxiety can take over. Best of luck.
This next bit souinds a bit preachy, and I'm going to say it anyway: Whatever happens don't spend too much time thinking about it and blowing it all out of proportion (I hate washing up, and do that, putting it off for ages, then, when I do do it, and it only takes 10 minutes!), so just give things a go and do them. Ask for some advice from the home as well to see if they have any suggestions about what she might be interested in. That could be helpful - and ask them about the phone, please. If they say it's a nuisance, ask why, and what they would suggest. There may be better times to call, and they may be able to tell you what other relatives do.
Do you knit - make her some gloves, or a teddy, or crochet a heart, and sew on a tag with who it/they is/are from so the staff can repeat over and over who it is from.
I know it's already been said, and I strongly agree that you do have to enter her world, and me and my dad did do a lot of reminiscing, often prompted by me... It meant I learned more about him than I had previously known, and I could then use it as a distraction tactic. I got to hear the same stories over and over, but that's the nature of it. One day you will miss having that voice there, so just take a deep breath and go for it.
Another thing we found really useful was that dad also had a small photo album with pictures of the family at birthday parties, and his house (all labelled) which went with him to hospital every time (made the staff realise he's a person with people who care, too, not just a patient). It gave us something to talk about, too.
Good luck, and try and involve the home in all you are doing - they are meant to be helping your mum out as well as caring for her needs. It might help you to set a time and day when you do this, too, so that it doesn't overshadow your whole time. I hope it goes well for you - I know the anxiety can take over. Best of luck.
