My condolences too. I have just joined the forum, and have find it to be supportive. Please keep in touch when you feel ready so that you can be supported. What you have experienced is something that some of our parents will go through and that is what I dread for myself. When you are stronger and ready to talk more, you will be an asset to lots of us. Hold onto the positive memories and it was brave of you to stay with him until the last moment.