Hello
I can't believe it's been 18 months since I've been on here.
Unfortunately my life has been difficult for the past 18 months for reasons other than my father's dementia, but I just wanted to pop in and say hello and give an update for anyone who remembers me posting in 2009 and 2010.
My dad's still in a local dementia specialist (EMI) home, and has now been there since Jan 2010.
I can happily say that he seems "contentendly demented" - for now, and has been for about 9 months. He's passed the anxious, paranoid phase and they have his meds right so he is not withdrawn and uncommunicative, which is great. He has superficial awareness of what's going on and tries to chat to people in the home all the time. He clearly recognises and "knows" some of his carers and likes them, and although he is not sure exactly who I am, I am recognised by him as someone important in his life. He joins in activities, responds to the patience and warmth shown to him by the carers, and has put weight on.
He's (sort of) still feeding himself, is now fully incontinent, speaks mostly gobbledegook with the odd clear sentence. He's re-found the ability to read out words, so pretends to read the newspaper a lot although it's clear he doesn't understand really. But he's been stable for 9 months and the carers jokingly say if he continues this way he'll be "discharged"!
For me, I couldn't have got to the place I am at now emotionally without the support of the people on this site. My siblings are still "invisible" and do zero, and I am still the only visitor. But hey-ho, in a strange way I think I have been enriched and changed (in a good way) by this experience emotionally and somehow have found it possible to not be too harsh on my siblings (as long as they don't expect to have any of their opinions regarding my father's care taken seriously).
I stumbled on a good care home by accident, and am forever thankful for that stroke of luck. But mostly I think about this forum and how invaluble it is, and all the kind and wise people who are willing to share and support.
Hope to drop in again soon.
Thoughts and regards
Feezee
I can't believe it's been 18 months since I've been on here.
Unfortunately my life has been difficult for the past 18 months for reasons other than my father's dementia, but I just wanted to pop in and say hello and give an update for anyone who remembers me posting in 2009 and 2010.
My dad's still in a local dementia specialist (EMI) home, and has now been there since Jan 2010.
I can happily say that he seems "contentendly demented" - for now, and has been for about 9 months. He's passed the anxious, paranoid phase and they have his meds right so he is not withdrawn and uncommunicative, which is great. He has superficial awareness of what's going on and tries to chat to people in the home all the time. He clearly recognises and "knows" some of his carers and likes them, and although he is not sure exactly who I am, I am recognised by him as someone important in his life. He joins in activities, responds to the patience and warmth shown to him by the carers, and has put weight on.
He's (sort of) still feeding himself, is now fully incontinent, speaks mostly gobbledegook with the odd clear sentence. He's re-found the ability to read out words, so pretends to read the newspaper a lot although it's clear he doesn't understand really. But he's been stable for 9 months and the carers jokingly say if he continues this way he'll be "discharged"!
For me, I couldn't have got to the place I am at now emotionally without the support of the people on this site. My siblings are still "invisible" and do zero, and I am still the only visitor. But hey-ho, in a strange way I think I have been enriched and changed (in a good way) by this experience emotionally and somehow have found it possible to not be too harsh on my siblings (as long as they don't expect to have any of their opinions regarding my father's care taken seriously).
I stumbled on a good care home by accident, and am forever thankful for that stroke of luck. But mostly I think about this forum and how invaluble it is, and all the kind and wise people who are willing to share and support.
Hope to drop in again soon.
Thoughts and regards
Feezee
. I'm glad your dad is contented - it's what many of us hope for our loved ones. As for your siblings, well, you can only act according to your conscience and let them act according to theirs.
