Bed Time

[sussexsue]

I dont know how common this is, but mum is wanting to go to bed earlier and earlier. She eats at 6:00 and then from around 6:45 she comes in at least every 5 minutes and says she is off to bed. We have been talking her out of it and saying "you dont go to bed before 8:00". She will ask what the time is and then say "oh yes, it is far too early", but 5 minutes later she will be back. Her bedtime over the last 3 years has slowly changed form 10:00 to 8:00.

It isn't that she is tired. She sleeps well both day and night, although she is up randomly throughout the night and up & about between 5:00 and 7:00 in the morning but then seems to go back to sleep. Although I hear her over the baby alarm I dont actually have to get up, just a disturbed sleep. Once she has gone to bed she will often get up 2 or 3 times before we go to bed with no concept of what day or night means, but we can usually convince her to go back to bed. Sometimes though she will come down during the evening fully dressed, makeup on, ready for the day ahead

She usually starts sundowning around 3:00-4:00, not badly, but enough to notice a distinct change in behaviour. In the evenings she cannot settle to anything so TV is not a distraction, not even Sister Act any more I can see why she wants to go to bed - it probably feels safe.

This trying to go to bed earlier and earlier is getting stressful for all of us, mum included. I suppose I want to keep her up to minimise the getting up again which does seem to leave her very worried. OH and I have talked it over this morning and have decided the battle is now pointless and we are just going to let her go off to bed when she wants to.

Out of interest what time do residents of CH's usually go to bed.

Would be interested in other people's experience of this.

Sue

 

[DLM]

I dont know how common this is, but mum is wanting to go to bed earlier and earlier.

Would be interested in other people's experience of this.

Sue

My LO has very erratic sleep habits. As AD progresses daily living routines disappear. It is very difficult to adjust our own reactions and realize the LO's thought processes get scrambled at the mind is more and more damaged by the disease.

I guess the approach is not allowing ourselves to get upset and go with the flow. Rational conversations are a thing of the past.

DLM

 

[elaine n]

Hi Sue
I had this problem with Gary, he'd insist on going to bed at 7 and then be awake and wandering half the night. I think bed's an escape for him from the confusion. Now, however, I can keep him up til about 9 and he then gets up a few times before he settles at about 10 (with a zopiclone tablet) and sleeps til about 5.30 . Some nights he'll go to sleep at 9 and wake up a couple of hours later so I give him the zopiclone then. It's a viscious circle when bedtime's so early and there's so much waking in the night because by the next evening they're worn out again and go to bed early.......and so on and so on......

 

[graybags]

I guess this behaviour is caused by the loss of understanding of the concept of time, my dad can happily tell the time, but dosen't really seem to understnd what it means and how it relates to a period within the day. He currently manages to live alone at home (but I can't see this lasting much longer) and basically goes to bed when we phone him and tell him to. He will also call at all sorts of times, although he understands that if it's dark, we'd prefer it if he didn't !

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Sue

When Dhiren started to go to bed earlier I thought it was because he was losing interest in everything and didn`t know what to do.
He too was up and down throughout the evening but I couldn`t persuade him to stay up. He also cat napped during the day.

The routine in the Care Home seems to suit him.
He is prepared for bed between 6 and 7 and then given the choice of TV in the sitting room, in his own room, or bed.
He sleeps well and just dozes on and off throughout the day.

 

[germain]

Hello
My Mum insisted that she HAD to go to bed at 7 very night because the doctor had told her !!

She drove us mad until her very kind GP wrote a letter saying that she could go anytime she wanted and DIDN'T have to be in bed by 7 any more (pretending that she was right that he had told her originally)

We made a few copies & took it out when she "started" - unfortunately this only lasted a few weeks until she started declaring "I'm tired so I'm going"

Not sure why she did this - it seemed to have nothing to do with dark evenings & didn't seem to matter what she was doing or whether she was at home or out or whether she had dozed in her chair all day. She just had this fixation that 7 was bed time and that was IT !

Thought it was just us - fascinating to hear it's quite common - but sorry no advice - it's just another thing to get through - at least with us it only lasted about a year !
Regards
Germain

 

[PamD]

Mother starts pottering around thinking about going to bed after she's watched the 10 o'clock news (ie sat there saying "Oh I don't know what this is about, do you understand it?" to almost every story as she has no background knowledge of anything which requires memory of the last 10 or so years!). She witters around, fretting about what's going on tomorrow, clutching her diary, asking what to wear tomorrow (which I've given up on because any time we spend time sorting out an outfit for tomorrow she always wears something different anyway), asking again and again what day it is tomorrow and what's in her diary, till I'm saying "Please, Mother, just go to bed" in the hopes that husband and I can have half an hour or so together to chill out at the end of the day before midnight!

But she's long-term early stage, as far as I can see - aged 94, on Aricept 10 years, no short term memory at all (though mercifully she does remember that Father died - it was 18 months ago though she's very vague about the date) but otherwise pretty well. I'd be delighted if she decided to go to bed a bit earlier! (She gets up at 20 to 8 exactly, and 20 to 9 on Sundays, apparently long-established pattern.) I know I'm very lucky that she's so relatively easy to live with. Everyone is so different.

When she goes in to the local brilliant care home, I think they let her stay up in the lounge till pretty late and give her her usual late night Ovaltine around 10pm.They're very kind and flexible - it's a smallish place, 20 residents and one respite room. She's physically a lot less needy than many of the residents - doesn't need help with stairs, dressing, etc - just needs a lot of reassurance and company.

Pam

 

[sussexsue]

Hello
My Mum insisted that she HAD to go to bed at 7 very night because the doctor had told her !!
Germain

We had similar for a while. She had to go to bed early as she had school the next day and her Dad would be cross.

TBH I think the confusion just gets the better of her and she just wants to be in bed. Cant say I blame her really.

 

[germain]

Aaaaaah Sue - I think the penny's just dropped with me !!!!

We got a lot of "mum will be worried about where I am" Never ever thought it could be because she saw herself as a child still !!

Thanks
Germain

 

[sussexsue]

Aaaaaah Sue - I think the penny's just dropped with me !!!!

We got a lot of "mum will be worried about where I am" Never ever thought it could be because she saw herself as a child still !!
Germain

I suppose if you think you are a child it helps as that is a time where you were cared for and looked after. In many ways it brings order into the chaos that is going on in the brain.

Well she fooled me this evening by not coming out until just before 8:00. She said she was watching TV and suddenly realised it was almost 8:00 so she had better get to bed. There was definitely an element of "I will be in trouble" if I am not in bed. So she has gone to bed happy. We are happy - result !!! ..... for now anyway.