Hi. I have today joined this forum to hopefully hear from other people in a similar situation to myself. My mum was diagnosed with dementia when she was 64. She is now 68 and her condition is worsening. She still lives at home with my Dad, but he has now taken over all household chores including helping her dress and wash. I have reached a stage that I feel I need to speak to other people who maybe are in a similar situation. I miss doing all those mum/daughter things that we use to do and only a daughter can really understand that feeling. If I start to think about the future I just feel like crying!
Coping with my Mum having dementia.
- Thread starter Busybee67
- Start date
Hi and welcome. I'm sure you will find TP a great source of support. Has your dad had a carer's assessment and your mum a needs assessment to make sure they are getting any help they may be entitled to?
Would your dad use TP do you think? It might be helpful for him too. Take care. x
Would your dad use TP do you think? It might be helpful for him too. Take care. x
Hello Busybee, welcome to Talking Point. I sorry to read about your mum. Many members of TP will understand what you are going through.
My advice would be to try to enjoy the good days I am sure there will be many of them. If you can, try to find some things that you can do together. I know its not the same but it can be so rewarding. Even until very recently my FIL loved to go out in the car and to have picnics. After one afternoon drive, he told us that he had had a lovely day out, and what a shame we hadn't been there
My very best wishes to you all xx
My advice would be to try to enjoy the good days I am sure there will be many of them. If you can, try to find some things that you can do together. I know its not the same but it can be so rewarding. Even until very recently my FIL loved to go out in the car and to have picnics. After one afternoon drive, he told us that he had had a lovely day out, and what a shame we hadn't been there
My very best wishes to you all xx
There will be times in the future when you certainly cry, and things will be hard. However, my mum has dementia and my dad look after her, she now goes into respite every two months, and has a carer twice a week. She got bad about a year and a half ago, before that she sort of managed (well she didn;t but we let her think she did, which meant a very very dirty house and some truly dreadful food, but never mind)
Since her deterioration I have not been able to make mum laugh, and that has been the most dreadful thing for me. On the good side, I now have a lovely close relationship with dad which I have never ever known before. This has been a really wonderful thing for me, though mum's condition has been deeply upsetting.
Pippa x
Since her deterioration I have not been able to make mum laugh, and that has been the most dreadful thing for me. On the good side, I now have a lovely close relationship with dad which I have never ever known before. This has been a really wonderful thing for me, though mum's condition has been deeply upsetting.
Pippa x
Welcome to TP. I'm sure you will get so much help and support - it's invaluable. Not sure what advice I can offer other than possibly to take photos of your Mum on those happier days so you have special memories to hold onto. Take care. Katherine xx
Thank you so much for all your kinds words.
Thanks Pippa. I too have become very close to my Dad because of the situation and we are closer now than we have ever been. x x
Thanks Pippa. I too have become very close to my Dad because of the situation and we are closer now than we have ever been. x x
Hello,
Sorry you are struggling to come to terms with your Mum's illness but glad you have now found TP where you will discover lots of us in the same state. My Mum has had dementia for 10 years. She is 20 years older than your mum but I still have those feelihgs of sadness for all the things we used to do together which no longer give her pleasure. I realise I tried to continue these for too long thinking I was helping. It took me a while to realise that she had changed so much. Now I have managed to find other things which she does enjoy and just seeing her smile and laugh is the best feeling in the world. There will still be good days ahead with your mum and it is great that you have drawn closer to your dad too.
Jan
Sorry you are struggling to come to terms with your Mum's illness but glad you have now found TP where you will discover lots of us in the same state. My Mum has had dementia for 10 years. She is 20 years older than your mum but I still have those feelihgs of sadness for all the things we used to do together which no longer give her pleasure. I realise I tried to continue these for too long thinking I was helping. It took me a while to realise that she had changed so much. Now I have managed to find other things which she does enjoy and just seeing her smile and laugh is the best feeling in the world. There will still be good days ahead with your mum and it is great that you have drawn closer to your dad too.
Jan
Hi and welcome to TP Im sorry you are having a hard time coming to terms with your mum's illness. It is a very sad time for us carers my advise to you is enjoy the good days with your mum. I know we all long for those special times we shared as only mothers and daughters can do. Always remember she is still your mum its the cruelness of the dementia that has changed her.I hope you get plenty of advise and help here on Tp I dont know what i would do without it. Look forward to reading your post
Love Shauna
Love Shauna
Hi feel exactly as you do, we had our first real "crisis" last night with her first UTI
, sadly I know this is a "first" and there will be more challenges thrown at us, the support on TP helps you through each first, second and more... It is a vast barrel of knowledge, wisdom and big hearts to hold our hand and help us through each day.Hugs to you
Jan xxx
Hello
I know you will get lots of help and support on here. I joined a couple of months ago and people have been fantastic. It is great to know you have someone to turn to who will never be judgemental and will always be there.
welcome on board
Love Linda x
I know you will get lots of help and support on here. I joined a couple of months ago and people have been fantastic. It is great to know you have someone to turn to who will never be judgemental and will always be there.
welcome on board
Love Linda x
