My husband has been diagnosed with Alz from May 2008 and I have coped reasonably well up to now. However he is more and more abusive and nasty with me BUT to other people he seems ok, including my two sons from whom I get little support. How do I deal with this as I fewel extrememly upset and rerady to just walk out, which of course I cannod do??
coping with abuse
- Thread starter Sarahanne
- Start date
There is medication available to help with the aggressive behaviour of Alzheimer's sufferers and you should speak to your Husband's psychiatrist, CPN or doctor and inform them of the seriousness of the problems you are facing and the fact that you are at the end of your tether.
Keep in touch and let us know how you go on.
Keep in touch and let us know how you go on.
I totally understand your situation as my mum is going through the same thing with my dad. I know medication is the last resort but it might be the only option to help you cope and to help him remain at home in a familiar environment. I wish you lots of luck and hope that you can find something to help.
Hi - I can totally understand what you are going through as it happened to me (and still is to a certain degree) for the last 18 months to 2 years. My husband would scream right in my face, swear, push me, lash out at me while I was driving, "groan" all the time but all only with me - he never did it in front of anyone else! I eventually spoke to the nurse from the memory clinic (my only help) and she spoke to the consultant who started my husband on Risperidone - the improvement was almost immediate and I am now coping much better - the aggression is much less now. I can't believe how long I carried on without seeking help - so please don't delay speak to your GP, CPN or whoever you have contact with and explain exactly what is happening and ask for help. Take care. Love Sox
Hi i know exactly how this feels i was given a tip keep a diary for a few reasons firstly to log eevents, second to seeifthereis any pattern it appears my mums is more aggresive when "sundowning" (lste in the day) You can also use it to keep yourself "sane"
It is incredibly difficult especially when they present themselves well to outsiders and halethcare providers I find non confrontational passive dealing with it. Please do talk to any care providers aand have you got someone you can talk to?
My mum is now doing it to care givers as well now - so they are finallyseeing what i had to deal with =o/
Good luck keep in touchto lets us know how you are doing xxx
It is incredibly difficult especially when they present themselves well to outsiders and halethcare providers I find non confrontational passive dealing with it. Please do talk to any care providers aand have you got someone you can talk to?
My mum is now doing it to care givers as well now - so they are finallyseeing what i had to deal with =o/
Good luck keep in touchto lets us know how you are doing xxx
Hello Sarahanne, welcome to TP. You don't mention how old your sons are, but from what you say I guess that they are young adults perhaps. If that is the case then you really need to sit them down and, whilst not losing it completely with them, you need to spell out ( in words of one syllable if necessary) what is happening and what support you need from them. Take it from one who has worn that T shirt, lads will need to have things spelled out, they don't always act on intuition. You need to get help from your husband's medics too. There are drugs available to try to ease out the temper, but you need to be safe and you might have to consider respite so that you can get away for a while. Keep safe and keep in touch, Maureen.x.
Hi Sarahanne, this is what we are doing,
keep a record of times when the abuse starts... this could be down to the medication
also one thing we have noticed is...the main carer will often be the target for abuse when everyone else around will have the sunshine beaming out of thier behind yet be the one who the sufferer will turn too when needed
my darling wife has now started once again to get the backlash from mum.... 3 weeks ago they upped mums anti-depressant
we will look at getting it lowered, as one of the side affects is anger
good luck to you and best wishes
keep a record of times when the abuse starts... this could be down to the medication
also one thing we have noticed is...the main carer will often be the target for abuse when everyone else around will have the sunshine beaming out of thier behind yet be the one who the sufferer will turn too when needed
my darling wife has now started once again to get the backlash from mum.... 3 weeks ago they upped mums anti-depressant
we will look at getting it lowered, as one of the side affects is anger
good luck to you and best wishes
