Have just had the courage to go into this site and register. Have been completely aware that I am not alone in this problem but facing up to it has been hard. Judging by everyone's posts and blogs then clearly there are alot of experienced carers out there sharing the same sort of problems.
Mother was diagnosed in late 2008 - didn't get Aracept until late 2009. She lives 160 miles away from me and I was visitng infrequently so probably did not pick up on the problem early enough. Now I see her every two weeks but working full time its not easy particularly when I go there I end up doing things like cleaning, cooking, shopping etc and then have long drive back on M11, M25.
Mum lives alone in a wonderful bungalow that she is so proud of and is in complete denial that there is anything wrong. She moved to Lincolnshire seven years ago from Kent and loves it. She is near her sister again and they spend every week end together. I have put things in place like getting gardener, paying neighbour to give medication (Mum was forgetting)and thought that for the moment things were in control although aware that its a constantly changing world now and I need to be prepared for every eventuality. Also spoke to various local authority help agencies etc so am slowly understanding what is available in her local area and have had several meetings etc on the subject.
Recent developments however are filling me with worry and despair. Mum's sister is displaying very similar signs - in fact she seems to be even more confused than Mum so I can no longer rely upon her to be part of my local support team although they spend alot of time together which is good for consistency and familiarity. Mum's neighbours are aware of the problems and are brilliant but are beginning to get sucked into the ever increasing domestic problems ie electric trip goes off regularly. How an 87 year old can do so much damage to electrical equipment is beyond me and its scary! She is on her third toaster in less than three months. Thankfully we had a new ring main put in when I had a new kitchen fitted last year. I know now of course, that that was probably the wrong thing to do, ie new kitchen. Inspite of putting in far safer equipment and things that are easy to operate replacing the old, dangerous and complex stuff she had before - she is now unable to remember how to use the cooker, has dismantled the new taps and burnt the worksurfaces etc. She has started smoking again after 30 years! Had Firebrigade fit new smoke alarm too.
I was there at weekend and fridge empty (although cupboards full of tins) - she says she is eating but not sure what.
Guess the reason I'm posting this is to find out how people deal with someone who doesn't think they need help with anything and how they cope with the frustration of it all. There are some good things too - Mum and I have never laughed so much together and we are spending far more time together. Balancing all of this with rest of my family needs is hard. Any tips and hints welcome - particularly from anyone living in Lincolnshire who might have some practical things to share.
Mother was diagnosed in late 2008 - didn't get Aracept until late 2009. She lives 160 miles away from me and I was visitng infrequently so probably did not pick up on the problem early enough. Now I see her every two weeks but working full time its not easy particularly when I go there I end up doing things like cleaning, cooking, shopping etc and then have long drive back on M11, M25.
Mum lives alone in a wonderful bungalow that she is so proud of and is in complete denial that there is anything wrong. She moved to Lincolnshire seven years ago from Kent and loves it. She is near her sister again and they spend every week end together. I have put things in place like getting gardener, paying neighbour to give medication (Mum was forgetting)and thought that for the moment things were in control although aware that its a constantly changing world now and I need to be prepared for every eventuality. Also spoke to various local authority help agencies etc so am slowly understanding what is available in her local area and have had several meetings etc on the subject.
Recent developments however are filling me with worry and despair. Mum's sister is displaying very similar signs - in fact she seems to be even more confused than Mum so I can no longer rely upon her to be part of my local support team although they spend alot of time together which is good for consistency and familiarity. Mum's neighbours are aware of the problems and are brilliant but are beginning to get sucked into the ever increasing domestic problems ie electric trip goes off regularly. How an 87 year old can do so much damage to electrical equipment is beyond me and its scary! She is on her third toaster in less than three months. Thankfully we had a new ring main put in when I had a new kitchen fitted last year. I know now of course, that that was probably the wrong thing to do, ie new kitchen. Inspite of putting in far safer equipment and things that are easy to operate replacing the old, dangerous and complex stuff she had before - she is now unable to remember how to use the cooker, has dismantled the new taps and burnt the worksurfaces etc. She has started smoking again after 30 years! Had Firebrigade fit new smoke alarm too.
I was there at weekend and fridge empty (although cupboards full of tins) - she says she is eating but not sure what.
Guess the reason I'm posting this is to find out how people deal with someone who doesn't think they need help with anything and how they cope with the frustration of it all. There are some good things too - Mum and I have never laughed so much together and we are spending far more time together. Balancing all of this with rest of my family needs is hard. Any tips and hints welcome - particularly from anyone living in Lincolnshire who might have some practical things to share.
