Just wondering whether people have had the same problem?

[lucysmith]

My grandmother was officialy diagnoised with alzheimers last year. I was wondering whether other carers had the problem where the person who had the alzheimers suddenly got ideas into their head and seemed certain that they were true even though they weren't.

for example, my nanna has got it into her head that my mum and dad are going to put her into a home. At this moment in time, this is not going to happen but may happen further down the line. But she has mentioned this to the carers who go round on a daily basis and my uncle who lives out in the states but never mentions it to either myself or my parents. (lets just say that my dad and uncle - they are brothers, but dont get on) also a while back (the beginning of this year), my gran lost her debit card for her bank so my mum rang up the bank and got them to cancel the card (my nanna had to answer the security questions and confirmed that the bank could speak to my mum) and get a new card sent out. since then, she has accused my mum and dad of closing her bank account and taking all her money. she also states that i don't call or visit, when i call at least twice a week and visit at least once a month ( i live a distance away and i dont drive so have to rely on either publice transport or my parents and more often than not i visit with my parents). again this was only mentioned to my uncle not my parents or myself.

So i was wonderinf whether any one else had the situation where the person with demtia had got something into their head (seemingly from nowhere) and tells all sundry about it but not the people it relates to?

 

[sistermillicent]

yes, my mum did this, completely fabricated stories, it caused big problems but as we got to realise what was going on we got used to it, and now it has almost stopped. Admittedly that is because she has deteriorated, but it is such a big relief that life is easier.
Mum got it into her head that my sister was stealing from her, that she had no money left, that we hated my dad, loads of things that were all unpleasant.
We showed her her building society book, she has loads of money,dad always let her have control of her own money, and she would remember for all of ten seconds then start on about having no money all over again.
I apparently never visited. NOT true.

It is part of the illness, there seems to be a bee in the bonnet thing which makes them fixate on one idea and go with it for several days or weeks, then fix on another. In my experience with mum it was always negative, never something good. As things went on we decided just to say oh dear or what a shame, we stopped trying to put her right, it seemed better for all of us.

love pippa

 

[Nanak]

The money situation seems to be paramount in many cases of Alzheimers.
My Mum is still convinced that my Stepfather has taken all her money, and now is telling my sister that he is having an affair.
There is no appeasing her as she has it fixed in her head so to her it must be true.
It is hard to deal with but my sister and family just continue to sympathise with her briefly then change the subject quick smart
Nanak
missing what has gone and scared of what is to come

 

[Onlyme]

Mum would go on and on about not having money. It would be in a loop through out the hour. She would complain she hadn't seen anyone for weeks when the family had been with her over the weekend.

 

[Nebiroth]

Yes, this is completely "normal" behavior.

There definitely seems to be this "fixation" thing where they get an idea and will cling to it no matter what. It can be incredibly wearing because unlike everything else it doesn't get forgotten and and will become a virtual obsession.

The money thing seems almost universal, usually involving false ideas about how much money is or was actually there, leading to accusations of theft etc. These accusations are often levelled at loved ones or people least likely to have stolen anything. This can be very disturbing and upsetting.

Your grandmother probably thinks you don;t visit because she forgets that you have right away.

You won;t be able to convince her of anything contrary to her ideas, reason won't work, proof won't work, she'll cling to them like a limpet or if she does accept what you say, she'll forget and go right back into the groove.

The only thing you can do is to ignore it. In my case this was very hard because I lived with my dad so this acted as a constant "prompt" for the delusions and accusations. If her accusations get too much then all you can do is walk away as it;s an argument you can never win.

At some point be prepared for your grandmother to call the police, or at least threaten to. She does actually believe he rmoney has been stolen.

Don;t worry, the police have seen it all before, so whilst they are obliged to investigate there's nothing to fear.

 

[Jancis]

Hi Lucy,
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. It's hard when they accuse the people who are their kith and kin of wanting them "put away" or trying to steal their money or possessions. But it is very very common as you have already read here. My mum still can't accept her brother apparently "turning" on her - we keep explaining that it's the illness but I can see the pain in her eyes and she once said she no longer felt any love for him. She is beginning to understand after 2 years of living with the accusations and this forum has helped greatly - you have lots of fellow travellers here.

 

[trakand01]

Again, yes this is 'normal' I think.

My Nannan claims (and has done for years) that my Mum and Grandpa are in cahoots to get her 'comitted' which will, we know, cause trouble when the time comes that she needs to go into care.

She (and my Grandpa as a result of her tantrums) refuses to have carers of any sort involved so my Grandpa is doing it all day long with her, with my Mum taking them all about to appointments and trying to get as much organised as possible.

Nannan is convinced that Grandpa has another woman or women, and hides money because she says he gives it to these other women. She regularly forgets that she's spoken to people and seen people and all hell breaks loose if you try to point out that she's wrong. In fact, all hell breaks loose if you try to do ANYthing that she doesnt want to do, which includes getting up in the morning, going to other people's appointments and anything else that she's forgotten is supposed to be happening.

It's a hideous illness and if the appropriate measures aren't taken (i.e. in our case, social care involved), it can rule an entire family although the sufferer themselves is blissfully unaware.

Sorry you're having these problems, although I'm so glad you've got social care involved because I'm sure it lessens the physical strain, if not the mental one

 

[Rachel T]

So sorry to hear about your gran.It is simular to the way my mum has become. My mum has been living in a care home for 15 years and knew what was going on in the home better than some of the staff!!! A few months back when she started to become very poorly she wanted the police called out as she thought she was being locked in her room. Nothing we said would make her change her mind even when we proved to her it was impossible for her to be locked in. She sometimes over hears conversations and gets the wrong end of the stick, for weeks she thought there was going to be a fire and no-one could perswade her otherwise. What it actually was there was going to be a fire drill. Everyday I visit her yet when she see's my son she always tells him I haven't been for years. It is so upseting to think our loved ones think badly of us when we are doing our best. Quite often though they do forget and go onto something else.
All the best to you and your family

 

[peppermind]

Sounds like a mixture of paranoia and delusions...