Brenda,
That's such a lovely sentiment and one that I share. I plan to tell my husband and three children the same.
Karen,
I'm so sorry that your family are in this position. I can relate to it much more than I wish was true. In July last year my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer, but his body was not strong enough for any treatment, so very sadly, he died on October 30th 2009. My mum was in the mid stages of dementia at the time, so the situation was dire.
However, it was pretty awful before then, when dad had a stroke in Feb 2007 and was left with half his body paralysed, and bed-bound most of the day. The SS put a very good care package in place which allowed for both their needs and it continued until we lost dad, and was reassessed just for mum for several more months. She was able to live independently in the family home until her illness dictated it was no longer possible. Mum had a very sudden and serious decline and needed 24 hour nursing care, and now she is in a Nursing Home. She had always been so afraid, and it had made my sister and I afraid too, but when the time came, it was the only way. Unless we could raise the funds for 24 hour care at home, she wouldn't survive with just 4 calls a day. That was the most SS could provide.
But the home where mum now stays is clean, efficient and actually very nice. The staff are lovely and more to the point, they can keep a close eye on mum's needs and her health which was no longer possible at home. So, looking into the future...a time MAY come for this, but try to not be afraid of it. Time really will tell.
For the present, your parents' individual and joint needs have to be assessed, and the right help put in place. It should be treated as if it were you, and that you didn't need to work, and lived next door! What would YOU be doing for them exactly? Shopping? Cleaning? Companionship? Personal care? Cooking?
But you don't need to assess this. Social Services will, with your input. They will review your parents' current situation and speak with them about their needs with a view to making life as easy as possible for them. Keeping people in their own homes is their first objective, so don't be afraid of their involvement.
You (and they) will be included in all decisions as things progress and situations change.
So, if you haven't already, have a chat with your parents about this and say that it would put your mind at rest if you knew that their needs were met on a daily basis. That then frees you up to spend precious, quality time with them both. Then, get in touch with their local Social Services, or speak to their GP to get the ball rolling.
I do hope it all works out ok. I managed, and am still here to tell the tale!!! I hope that gives you hope too!
Take care,