I'm at my wits end

[susiesue]

Things seem to be going down hill rapidly here!

Yesterday morning was anightmare with s**t everywhere - David doesn't know what happened in the toilet but apparently it was on the floor and all over his hands too. I told him to get in the shower and then found him in there with shower gel on him but no water running - I have now removed the lock from the door so I can 'supervise'.

Again this morning the shower was a problem as he had the shower head pressed flat against the wall so the water was running down the walls, but not on him He then got out the shower and proceeded to dry himself with his pants

He is just getting more and more argumentative, nasty and difficult and too big to 'assist' - not that he wants to be helped.

There is totally no communication between us - whatever I say to him I get a reply that has nothing to do whatsoever with what I have said.

I really can't cope much longer with this - he's doing my head in - it's no wonder my hair's falling out....I dread to think what our neighbours must think with all the racket this morning...

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Dear Sue, I'm so sorry to read about your problems with David. Sorry but I have no firm advice except try not to worry about the neighbours. Do you have any help from the Local Authority? Is it time to get them to assess or re-assess David's needs? Have you had a carer's assessment for yourself yet?

I hope the rest of the weekend goes more smoothly for you. Kind regards Deborah

 

[Grannie G]

Sue you need some help.

Can you phone the consultant and ask for a review of David`s condition. It sounds as if he is going downhill fast and you need professional imput.
I don`t know how you`re fixed with the medics and reviews etc. but it would certainly help you to have regular support from a CPN who could advise on managing David`s behaviour.

 

[SusanB]

Oh Sue

That sounds so very bad, my heart goes out to you.

What a hideous disease this is. Is there any way that you can get help? It can't go on like, you will be ill, surely?

Thinking of you.

Susan

 

[Dyson]

Hello Sue

Don't give the neighbours another thought, unless they are supportive of course.

Do you have a crisis team or support from your GP available? If so, now's the time to call them! You sound like a woman who needs some help urgently.

Or, have you got any close family at hand to come over? Sorry, I haven't read your previous threads, just saw this one and felt for you..

Dy

 

[gigi]

Morning Sue...

Forget the neighbours....

It sounds as though David needs urgent reassessment.

You need some back up here...phone the consultant first thing in the morning and explain the situation..stress the urgency of the situation.

If things get out of hand today then phone the on-call GP.

I'm so sorry that this is happening.

Love xx

 

[nellbelles]

Sue
One thing for sure, neither of you can carry on like this..

Time I think to shout help..

BIG (((HUG))

 

[susiesue]

Thanks for all your help - things have quietened down now, for the time being - seems to me that the problems always start in the mornings when it is time to shower/dress etc etc - he doesn't like to be helped or told what to do Therefore anyone coming to assess us probably would not appreciate what is going on except, of course, for his total lack of communication.

I don't think either or us have ever had an assessment - unless of course that is what they do with me re: David when we go on our 6 monthly visit to the Memory Clinic. On our last visit a month ago despite the fact he scored '0' on the MMSE, I scored 7 in another room answering questions on how he behaved generally -which at the time was good enough for them to decide to continue with the Aricept. Is it the Memory Clinic who would arrange an assessment for us both? - To date I have found them totally useless - always promising to get back to me re: support etc and never hearing from them again until our next appt.

The only Consultant we have is the one we originally saw in March 2007 at the Memory Clinic who gave us the 'probable' diagnosis - we have not seen him since (rather like Helen and Alan).

To see David now he appears totally OK and I just wonder how anyone is ever going to assess him properly...

 

[Izzy]

Can you ask for carer's assessment through social work? Take care. Izzy x

 

[gigi]

Hello Dy....

Izzy is right..you can phone Social Services yourself and ask for a Carers' Assessment.

There should be a CPN attached to the Memory Clinic who "should" be supporting you both...

I'd be inclined to phone the consultant's secretary tomorrow and explain how things have been...tell it how it is...and ask about a CPN...if there isn't one available, then ask for a review with the consultant.

If all else fails go to your GP and tell him/her how you feel and ask for support.

The more people you contact the more likely you are to get help.

Hope the rest of today goes smoothly for you..

Love xx

 

[imp]

So sorry to read of your problems and I agree that you certainly need help now. If it is any help I had to call in the SW some weeks ago and they reassesed Ed. I was persuaded to have carers in to wash and dress him in the morning and undress him and get him ready for bed. To my surprise he accepted them when they arrived in uniform and we hav been so lucky to have two regular carers who treat him with the greatest respect even when he gets nasty with them. The family never thought that we would manage to talk him in to letting this happen but now he has two 'friends' who visit him. My thoughts are with you as you were describing times in our life in your post. Good luck and you are not on your own Iris

 

[Cl13]

Hi Sue, sorry things are not good just now, I only had this kind of problem with mum when she had UTI'S, its hard I know,
You really should think about what Iris says regarding help, my mum has always accepted help from an-one in uniform,I dont mean at home but in the hospital she always did what she was asked, you never know it might just work,
My SW would have been the one I would have contacted, her along with mums own GP, they were the ones changed mums med dose's and got me DC and offered respite etc.

Take care Lynn