pleases some one tell me why this now

[simonmonty]

Ive managed to get my mum back on aricept and she is improving a lot more alert and settled proving what i said vindicated i was right all along and the doctors and C,P,N nurse were wrong the so called experts. The care home were she lives still leaves a lot to be desired Ive still got a lot of ass kicking to do with them although there improving now in the right direction. Ive looked after my mum for over twelve years now all on my own.Taken **** after **** from my so called family that still say i know nothing about alzheimer's may be so but i know my mum and i do my research When things should be getting easier Ive now been diagnosed with throat cancer have only 60% survival chance.can my life get any harder what will happen to my mum if i die the rest of the so called family wont bother with her make sure she is getting the right medicines or care or help her to have a life or just treat her like a human being or just love her like i do will some one please please tell me why this now

 

[hazytron]

I am so sorry you have such terrible difficulties please do not give up hope. It is so easy to say but it comes from my heart.
Thinking of you.
Hazel

 

[simonmonty]

Thanks hazel life can be so strange and cruel i never thought this would ever happen to me getting cancer or being a carer.Ive tried to be a good son and carer to my mum though the latter i think i fail my mum i just wish i could have been a better carer but i never asked for the job or have ever had any training for it just got dropped head first into it.I really do love my mum and that has been my greatest caring skill well if you can call it that.Am really worried for the future of my mums continued care.As I'm the only one who really does care about my mum.I Just wish the rest of my family would just learn more about alzheimer's or just get to know mum better and they would to realise that as my mum would say it dossent make me stupid just because i have memory problems although my mum has not said that for a long time now and has deteriated a lot since last year.But i can still see she still understands more then people realise. She new instantly there was something wrong when i saw my mum yesterday and just put her hands up to my face and held me.Me and my mum made a pact when my mum was first diagnosed with this illness that i would always tell her the truth and yesterday i told my mum that although i will fight this illness i might not make it. I just hope i do for my mums sake so i can just be there for her if not caring for her just to love and reassure her.I just hope i live longer than my mum that's all that would be my greatest wish now if i achieve nothing else but just to hold my mum when she leaves this world.Am going to leave it there for now because its getting to hard to write any more but i will try to post more in the future and tell every one how I'm getting on I would like to say thank you all on here for helping me when i needed help and reassurance my self i just wish i had found this site long ago.i know i don't post much or come here that often only when i need help a bit selfish i know but i like you all care for someone even though my mum is now in a care home she still needs me and always will ironic i battled so hard to keep my mum out of one now it is best she be in one as i will no longer be able to care for her as i start my own battle with this cancer i just hope me and my mum have some good luck for a change....Am just a son who cares for his mum Simon

 

[Skye]

I just hope me and my mum have some good luck for a change....Am just a son who cares for his mum

Dear Simon

What terrible news! I'm so sorry you have been diagnosed with throat cancer, particularly when you want so much to look after your mum.

Try to focus on the 60% -- your glass is more than half full, and I hope for both you and your mum that it will soon be filled to the brim again.

Please keep talking to us, we all want to support you in this.

Love,

 

[Bookworm]

Special person

I agree with Hazel, Simon - and would like to add - although I'm not maybe old enough to be "wise" - I have seen a lot of life and illhealth & these events seem to me to be so much more than just a "throw of the dice" - you are undoubtedly a special person to be taking such concern over your mother and those character traits you have been rehearsing over & over with her care & health are going to be the ones to see you through this. The odds you give are good and probably an average meaning in some places they are higher. You will find you have the reserves for this as you go through it all - contemplating next week, next month is nearly impossible for us all - but when you get there you'll cope better than you can currently imagine. You will also find that it will not be all bleak - you will meet new people, find new support, find new coping strategies. I don't mean for this to sound trite or cliche - sorry if it does - but (& I need to take a dose of this medicine myself!!) take it a day at a time.

 

[Scottie45]

Dear Simon

So sorry to hear your news,have no idea how you will be feeling can only imagine,but please take some hope from this my uncle was diagnosed with throat cancer in the 1980,s and he only died in 2007 nothing to do with the throat cancer which he made a full recoverey from and i am sure treatments and all have moved on a great deal since the 80,s.Easy for me to say but try and not think the worst,your mum is very lucky to have you and you her all the best,take care Marian x

 

[Margarita]

i just wish i had found this site long ago.i know i don't post much or come here that often only when i need help a bit selfish i know but

They no but in it. Not more ifs , but, or maybe .

you should be selfish , its healthy for your heath. I heard on a Video how some carers die before the person they care for, as they give so much of themselves to another person they they do not give to themselves, so not looking after they own well being.

There you are diagnosed with throat cancer have only 60% survival rate, & your still worrying about your mother & posting . Bless , its your time now , time for you .We only have one chance to live on this planet earth. so its about time living it for you . No looking back only forward into your furture.

May sound harsh , but its reality xx



,

 

[Cl13]

Hi Simon, I just want to wish you well, Scottie is right medecin has moved on and its true a lot of people do survive cancer these days, and even in the past, my great aunt had breast cancer in the 50s, she had a mastectomy and radium treatment, no chemo at that time she was in her 30s and died at the ripe old age of 92, so as Margarita said look forward.
I wish you and your dear mum well, Love Lynn

 

[Vonny]

Hi Simon,

Margarita is right...now it's time for you to take care of you. You have been, and still are, a wonderful loving son and this news must feel like life's given you a right kick in the teeth. It's so unfair.

As others have said, try to focus on the positive, medicine has advanced a lot over the last few years. For your sake, and your mum's please take care of yourself.

Vonny xxx

 

[Sam Iam]

Hey Simon, Just to wish well and let you know I am sending cyber Vibes for a possitive and successful out come for you and your Mum.
Take care of yourself Simon.

Love and hugs xxx

 

[Izzy]

Just want to add my own best wishes to the others.
Izzy

 

[julieann15]

Simon
So sorry to read of this extra hurdle. Please try to stay positive- my dad was positive when his secondaries appeared and lived for years- mum a different story- not the same positive outlook...


Stay strong for you and your mum

Love Julie xx

 

[living in hope]

Hi Simon
Wishing you all the best from one Hullite to another! stay strong!
Love
Lorraine

 

[milly123]

good luck

hi simon i'm sure you wont regret looking after your mum i looked after my mum and dad he had dementia mumhad cancer they past away in1997and98 ithought know i will do all the things i had put off doingthen in 2002 my husband was diognosed with alzheimers it must have started a year or two before so my life is still on hold but i have no regrets i whish you luck try to be positive andlook after your self milly123

 

[suzanne]

Heart broken for you

I keep coming back to your thread not knowing how to express the sadness that I feel for your circumstances,just a whole load of respect for what you have achieved for your mum and what you have in front of you, it is a battle that no-one wants but you have it any way,keep up the fight we are all behind you I am sure 100%.Suzy

 

[sad nell]

Somon your mum was blessed to have such a loving son, now you just concentrate oo you for a bit thats what your mum would want
thinking of you and your mum love pam

 

[Donalda]

Hello Simon, Your body is telling you to slow down and think of yourself. Keep energies for healing. Good luck
DonaldaXXX

 

[simonmonty]

Thank you every one for your loving support

Just a quick post before i go to see my mum.My treatment starts on the 23 June and finishes on the 10 august 35 radio therapy treatments one every day apart from a Saturday and Sunday rest days and weekly chemo.Spending a lot of time getting ready for it with hospital visits at the new oncology unit in hull at castle hill hospital its supposed to be one of the best in england and sorting out my personal things as when it really gets going i will not be able to do much for my self but you carnt really tell as it affects people differently with side affects some people cope better then others.There is a lot of information to take in but starting to process it now and the hospital will help me all the way and support me and answer any questions i have the staff are great though i am still in the early stages of being prepared for it and still a lot has to be done before treatment can start.Its really confusing but been told it is because it is new and frightening and as time goes on it will all become normal to me.Am still panicking about my mum but have a friend that will visit my mum when I'm no longer able too and check on her care make sure she is being looked after properly.I have been told to have no delusions that this going to be really hard and will get really bad before it gets better and will need lots of support to get through it and might end up being fed through a tube in the end because i might not be able to eat or swallow but only time will tell as the treatment goes any way am off now too see my mum so you lot take care of yourselves like your telling me too thinking of you all Simon x

 

[simonmonty]

Familys if you can call them that

I absolutely hate my so called family how can they be so ignorant there latest answer to alzheimer's is that the alzheimer's society does not really know anything about alzheimer's. That they can only give very limited advice. There totally convinced that when you have alzheimer's the only place for you to be is in a home that you don't understand or know what your talking about when you have this illness and that our mother has never been happier now that she is in a home. How would they know they hardly ever visit never check the care plan or how she has been. In fact since our mum has been in a care home there visits have dropped off and not increased and give our mum the emotional support as they promised in the so called best of interest meeting. There so selfish its beyond belief.

 

[Vonny]

Hi Simon,

You sound very down and no wonder. It's easier said than done, but try not to let your family get you down...you are under a lot of stress and unwell and you need concentrate on getting better.

We can't choose our families but you have the TP family behind you, and whatever advice and support we can give, we will.

Are you ready for your first chemo? Not long now and the sooner it starts, the sooner you can start healing and be there for your lovely mum.

Hope you managed to get some sleep last night, you posted very late.

I've got all my fingers and toes crossed for you Simon.

Vonny xxx