Mum has succumbed to a urine infection and has spent 48hrs very poorly on an IV plus antibiotics. Is now waking up and responding so great sighs of relief all round.
What I find so frustrating is the attitude of the nurses. I speak as a nurse myself but if I had ever behaved as some of these girls have then I would have been disciplined.
Mum wanted to go to the toilet and gets very agitated when she is busting to go. Asked named nurse for help to get Mum to toilet......'I'm just going on my break and will be back to sort her out later'
Over an hour went by and no sign of nurse. Eventually went and found her and told her that Mum was sodden up to her chest perhaps she could come and sort her out now!
They don't want you to stay and help during meals but keep writing 'meal refused' on Mums chart. Yes it is struggle to get her to eat but with time and patience it can be done..obviously they don't have the time so why not use me?
They can't get her out of bed until the physio is available...my sister and I walked Mum up and down to day with a zimmer frame with no problems...Mum getting stronger all the time. Left to the staff she would still be in bed getting muscle wasting.
Their way of coping with Mum staying awake all night is to say that such patients are normally sedated....Mum does not tolerate sedation and tends to still be awake but more liable to fall over. I had already told the doctor that she was not to be sedated and if needs be I would stay with her but then we are back to the no staying policy!!!!!!!!!!!AGHHHHH!!!!
Oh boy does this ring true with me!! You MUST stand your ground and speak out.
I DID!!
My Mum (sadly died 30th December) was admitted to hospital with UTI and suspected TIA (I still don't know whether or now she had one....). She was also in early stages of dementia, made worse by UTI. My Mum had suffered from anxiety all her life, so at 91, together with severe visual impairment, was very, very anxious about her current predicament and needed family support. She also needed a special diet due to colitis, otherwise she would have diarrhoea.
The first day on the ward, I went in at lunchtime with her food and was promptly told off for being there during "protected mealtimes". My Mum was desperate to see me, in fact she was crying with relief. I tried to find her false teeth (!!) and was thentold I should not be there. I had to walk out and leave her crying.
I decided I was going to ignore the power policies of those who thought they knew best and continued with my lunchtime visits. My Mum had various tests and was diagnosed with clinical depression. I learnt this from accidentally bumping into her Consultant. I asked him what I could do to help and he said "be there as much as you can, although I realise it's difficult". I said "so I can visit any time?". He said "Yes" so I took that as carte blanche to continue with my lunchtime visits with Mum's special diets. Between whiles they fed Mum food differing from her diet and she developed diarrhoea so had to be moved into a single room - total disaster for someone virtually blind and with clinical depression. No stimulation whatsoever. I continued with my lunchtime visiting only to be reprimanded by the Consultant "What are you doing here? We look after your mother, you need to look after yourself otherwise we have 2 patients not 1". I promptly burst into tears and was put in the nurse's room to recover.
I decided to ignore his reprimand and continued daily with my lunchtime visits, sitting quietly in a corner. My Mum was prescribed an anti-depressant, which made her giddy and feel sick. She was then prescribed an anti-emetic, which seemed to make her very sleepy so I asked for her to be taken off this (on a Sunday). They obliged. During the rest of the week I watched her deteriorate into a zombie, hunched over, crying, wailing, calling incessantly for me and asking for tablets to end it all. I raised my concerns with the staff nurse and asked for her to be taken off the anti-depressant. They said they would mention it to the Consultant on his next visit, which wasn't until the end of the week. By Thursday she was so ill and almost in a coma they phoned the Consultant and she was finally taken off the anti-depressant on the Friday and put on a drip. What I didn't realise was she was DEHYDRATED because nobody was popping in to that single room to ensure she was drinking, bearing in mind she was also visually impaired!!! So she ended up in bed on a drip, caught the first chest infection (I think it could have been avoided). Also, 1 day I left with Mum on the potty at 2pm and returned at 5pm to find her still on the potty and in pain!!
Between whiles I ended up in floods of tears of frustration in the Chaplain's office, complaining that a single room was not the right environment for my Mum. It took 3 horrific weeks for them to move her, despite my incessant complaints, during which time motivation and mobility were lost.
She was moved to a lovely ward with 3 others, which was comforting. However, I noticed a deterioration on Christmas Day when she would not get out of bed (the antibiotics and drip had been stopped). No doctors visited the ward Christmas Day, Boxing Day, or Saturday, or Sunday following (4 whole days - in hospital......). On the Sunday she was hallucinating wildly until she was purple in the face. I ran to see the staff nurse who told me patronisingly "she is just confused". When I asked when the doctor had last seen my Mum I was told "the doctor has only seen those patients who are seriously ill, just go home and don't worry. If anything changes we will phone you". I received a phone call at 6:30 am on Monday to say my mother had taken a turn for the worse and on Tuesday she died from broncho-pneumonia.
SPEAK UP, is my advice to anyone.
Coming home from the funeral I realised I had lots of unspoken business to complete before I would be able to move on, so I wrote to the Clinical Director at the Hospital and have received an acknowledgment that "my complaint" will be dealt with in the next 21 days.
My gut feeling is that there seems to be no recognition of the family's "emotional" needs and also a slow uptake on comments made by family who from years of caring recognise changes in their loved ones far better than hospital staff who perhaps have known the patient for only a few days.
SPEAK UP!! And apologies for waffling, but I probably needed to write all that down.....!! Thank you. Good luck Susiewoo and SPEAK UP!!
