How can things change so quickly???

[Michele]

Hi,

Mum has early to mid ad, she lives on her own, is on memory tablets (and does take them because I check, well I check as much as I can).

Well, before and during christmas mum seemed to be getting worse, got very confused with sending out cards and everything. I would turn up and she still was in her nighty, had not had breakfast or anything.

Then 2 weeks ago I went over for the day, got there and she was dressed, had breakfast and was as bubbly as anything and seemed really with it - that was on the Wednesday.

Then on the Saturday my sister saw her and she was very confused and vacant. Then this Saturday my sister saw her, she wasn't dressed, she was confused and vacant, hadn't had breakfast and we have found out that her bank account is a mess (which I am sorting out tomorrow with her and luckily have power of attorney).

I spoke to her yesterday at 12.30pm and she was still in bed and had not had breakfast. I then spoke to her at 5.30pm and she couldn't remember what she had done all day.

How can things change so quickly in two weeks?? I don't understand.

Love
Michele

 

[julieann15]

Hi Michele
We found that Christmas had a bad effect on mum- confusion over who she had and hadn't sent cards to? Had she got us all a present(£20 gift cards all round this year) but by the time mid Jan had come around it seems to have settled again, Day Centre on a Monday, age Concern Thursdays and Meals on wheels on a Tues all back in place- the routine was back and the distractions gone- hopefully this is just a "blip" and once you have got to grips with the bank account your mum may settle again- perhaps she is fretting over that in the same way my mum was fretting over Christmas and was she ready for it?

Just my thoughts- hope they help


Julie xx

 

[pebble]

Michele
I don't have an answer but I have noticed quite big swings with my own Mum. For us Christmas is stressful as we lost my dad 2 years ago and my sister after that. Mum was noticeably worse at Christmas than in November when she was almost chirpy and really brighter than I've seen her. Stress affects us all and I wonder if it is a bigger-by-far factor for alzheimers sufferers. Mostly I can't find a reason for Mum's down spells and big patches of confusion but of course she finds things stressful which I wouldn't in the normal course perceive as even a problem. My Mum started aricept a few months ago, prompted by carers going in, and I have found the up-sides are much better than expected which makes the bad patches seems so much more disappointing.

 

[Happyone]

Dear Michele,

Your comments have really hit a nerve with me today. You could be talking about my MIL who is probably stage 4/5 at the minute, after being diagnosed 2 years ago and has been on Aricept for all that time.
Christmas was indeed a nightmare - she couldnt remember what cards she had written and who she had sent them to and just seemed to ger more confused by the hour, let alone the day. Each evening when we went to take them their evening meal, she would have unwrapped the presents and taken labels off them, cos she "couldnt remember who they were for....". We would re-wrap and label again....only to find the same problem the next day. We all ended up with each others gift on Christmas day and she told my brother in law it was because we had brought the wrong things and confused her!!!
We too saw a little improvement after Christmas - then last week she had to write 2 birthday cards and the phone started ringing again -- who are cards for? when are their birthdays? who exactly ARE these people she is going to so much trouble for? (one card being for her dear sister). My MIL has also started to forget who people are - she cannot put faces to names (for example, we are off to a party this weekend, her niece and her husband who have been married for 30 years and are seen often - we have told my MIl we are going to this party and she is looking forward to it BUT as she says - she can't really place either of them and is pretty sure she has never met the chap!!!)
We are hoping that the added stress is making her worse, having to write cards etc, but we fear it is her condition worsening.
I hope and pray this is just a blip for you, but wanted you to know that we in a similar position in the hope that it will at least let you know we care.

Kind regards,

Tracey

 

[julieann15]

of cards and Christmas ...and birthdays???

Tracey
MIL(mum) unwrapped all her presents to her last year before we could get them for Christmas Day and we did not know who they were from- Of course SHE did not unwrap them someone else did(She lives alone)

This year we have found a stash of Christmas cards saying "best wishes from M" We have saved them and will send them out next year

Birthdays too as you say are a problem with mum buying multiple cards for the "lucky person"

We took her to a birthday party last year x said "thank you for the 2 cards M" and she promptly produced another out her handbag and said "just in case I have forgotten here is another"

Julie xx

 

[Michele]

Thank you for your replies. I must admit you have all made me smile. I can't believe how so much alike our loved ones are. I feel like your stories are my stories.

It is my Uncles Birthday today and my mum phoned him last monday and wished him a happy birthday Then I spent about an hour on the phone with her trying to convince her what day it was

xxx

 

[seaside]

Same for us too

Hi Michele,

I spent the weekend wondering whether to post a similar query. We have gone from being told my MIL would need nursing home care, and her being in bed and confused all the time to her walking about and talking mostly sensibly in the space of two weeks. It's almost as disconcerting as the fast decline which preceded it.

Now we have the situation that some family members think she is going to 'recover' despite the evidence of the brain scans, and it IS tempting to believe it has all been some kind of mistake, except when we talk to her long enough we realise that she is not 'right', and I am afraid that she could easily decline again very quickly. I cannot imagine her living at home again as she was not coping at all before she went into a care home for respite, and then into the dementia ward at the hospital.

 

[sue38]

Hi Michele,

Yes I agree, Christmas can be very unsettling and may explain the sudden decline, but has your mum been checked for an infection, particularly a UTI?

Just a thought and it can't hurt to check, even if it's just to rule it out.

 

[living in hope]

Hi All
My husband has also deteriorated a lot since early december, culminating in him being brought home by the police last week, he got confused walking the dog and went the wrong way, I am hoping this decline will slow down soon and hopefully get back to where we were in december but I'm not sure it will.
Lorraine

 

[ChrisH]

Is it something to do with this time of year, the weather, and the general chaos of Christmas, but my mum too has deteriorated noticeably. She sent no cards at all this year, claiming the cut on her finger made it too sore to write I've posted elsewhere about her total inability to find her way to loo in my house even after 6 days. When we took her home I fully expected a call to say she'd wandered off as she didn't realise she was back home. Next day I phoned and she was fine, very chirpy - but a couple of days later she was 'feeling down' again. This sort of thing seems to be normal with this disease.

Chris

 

[Sooe]

Occasions

Hi Michele & All
Ughhhh Christmas we are still trying to forget it.....no cards and no presents from MIL to anyone! soooo very sad, but just too confusing for her, especially as she didn't even know what day it was. Now in a lovely Nursing Home, I can fully understand the horror of things going downhill soooo quickly, we still can't believe in such a short time poor MIL is now out of everything for most of the time, the conversations that we do try and have with her, anyone listening in would think we are barmy, we just go wherever she is on the day, and sometimes she just sits and crys and shouts - absolutely heartbreaking! Pressures and strains of the past must play a huge part in their present lives and make it almost impossible to try and make MIL happier, and we all thought she had a wonderful life before the illness struck, shows how little we must know. We are now in the heartbreaking process of trying to organise her home for selling or renting towards fees.......so much harder, feels like we are clearing her stuff out from under her nose while she is still fully alive and kicking.....but what do we all do but do our best! Good luck everyone, this illness is an absolute horror, thank goodness we all have each other to sound off too, Friday MIL had a little xmas speech to me, Sunday, her eyes were again tightly closed and could see she had an infection again, and just cried and shouted again.....just have to go day by day, just glad my hubby (her son) and our daughter, sometimes doesn't see her bad days, its just too heartbreaking for all of us.
Big Hug to all
Sooe xxx

 

[Happyone]

Hi again, Michelle & everyone,

It is so strange how similar all our stories are! It really helps me to erad all your posts though. My hubby and I are always saying just how many people find themselves in the same situation we are in now, but it helps to read/share our thoughts and problems on a day to day basis.

Kind regards to all,

Tracey

 

[Michele]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for sharing your stories with me. I just can't believe how similar our situations are. It is lovely to know that we are all here for each other.

I don't know what I would do without this site.

Thank you.

Michele xxxx

 

[harvey]

These posts are so familiar. My MIL seems to bounce from one extreme to another. At the moment we are going through a fairly normal cycle. It is only when we think back that although it is normal for her now, it is not normal behaviour. This morning for breakfast she had a boiled egg with garlic bread smothered in tomato puree! She told us this on the phone as though it is quite normal. Yesterday she asked where my husband had put the two bottles of flog it, she must have been watching the TV programme. We could not get out of her what she meant apart from 'cleaning stuff' She had an overnight stay in hospital for a minor eye operation and refused to take the hospital wrist band off as the doctor had not told her to. There was a time when no one told her what to do!!!
Since FIL died almost two years ago and we realised there was a problem, we have seen her almost at deaths door only to bounce back time after time. She seems to fit no 'pattern' she can be totally confused one day and perfectly 'normal' the next. We have periods of agression, accusations, anger, confusion, depression in a rollercoaster sort of way. There has been a gradual decline but not to any great extent, certainly no 'stepped decline'. It really is hard work trying to guage which phase she is in at any given time. We just have to react to the changes as best we can, more often than not causing tension as we have said the wrong thing!

Best wishes
Polly

 

[Regina]

Oh Yes! Sounds sooooooooo familiar!!
We all have so much in common! My husband and I were just talking about how my MIL's days are so unpredictable. We made a joke "Life is like a box of chocolates, (these days)you never know what you're going to get"!!
Just take it one day at a time and keep pluggin' away.