Wandering out at night and hallucinating

[deepetshopboy]

Not sure what to do dad 72 at home still but me here 95per cent of the time has suddenly started wandering out at night i was going home 2 nights a week with the help of a door sensor and camera but last night he got up packed and left the house at 3 am never did this before only during the day (occasionally )lucky he has a mobile phone and answers it so never got far but wandering in the middle of the night i
was in shock had to get a taxi to hes home and today has been very stressful while I consider my options on 2 hours sleep had a emergency dr appointment i bought my dad to dr , who gave me antibiotics for him in case of uti and told me to call memory clinic and ss now tonight 1 am with me here my dad has walked out of the house yet again hallucinating and saying someone was trying to stab him ☹️its now obvious that he needs 24 hour care who do i call emergency social worker ? or do i wait and see if the confusion is down to uti i cannot go home only just started to go home in aug after living here 3 months what do i do i cannot lock hes door its a new fire door with hand lock if he tries this again i think i will have to call the police i fear he will be sectioned

 

[deepetshopboy]

To add he’s getting sundowns in the evening and saying were do i live im going home and packing hes clothes and ornaments but next day seems normal again and has no recollection

 

[marionq]

Once wandering begins there is no going back. It is one of the most worrying symptoms of dementia and you have all of my sympathy. Get onto social services and alert them to this change. If you cannot stop him at night then call the police. They forward reports to social services which forces them to take action.

Like all things this will eventually pass but it is by far the worst aspect I dealt with too.

 

[myss]

Oh @deepetshopboy I'm sorry to hear you are going through this concern, unfortunately it is a common trait of this awful illness; if you do a search on the term 'wandering', I bet you'll find quite a few thread on this worrying symptom..

I've been through this as well as my dad still lives at home, the first time was that he walked what seemed to be 3-4 miles in the middle of the night. He found and told a worker in a supermarket that he was lost and the police was called.

As marionq said, whether we wanted it or not, this prompted an emergency proviison of care by the local authority for about 6 weeks and when that finished, we realised that we needed to be more hands on with dad and employ carers to look about him.

If your dad doesn't have the funds to employ privates carers, I would advise contacting your local social services. Someone else may be able to tell you what to expect from that point of asking for assistance as I've not versed in what happens from that point, but what I was also advise you to do is to perhaps have a word with your dad's neighbours in case they see him outside acting oddly or in the middle of the night. My dad's neighbours were great with this aspect, even taking our numbers and calling us at what a clock in the morning, and/or even taking him in until one of us were able to get there.

 

[Grannie G]

IT was my biggest worry too and impossible to manage.

Thank goodness my husband didn`t wander during the night so I was able to follow him during the day.

I was terrified he would cause a road traffic accident.

He did pack his bags in the evenings while sundowning but somehow I managed to persuade him it was too cold or too dark and to wait till `tomorrow`.

 

[Palerider]

Mum has wandered a few times but the neighbours managed to spot her and bring her back. About three weeks ago mum wandered 5 miles down long country roads with no footpath and a complete stranger picked her up in his car and managed to get her home (police aware of mum). I was at work some 50 miles away and had to leave. I then had to stay with her until we got SS to review her home situation and finally we came to the decision it was time for a care home as she kept on trying to wander even with me here everyday. Mum was also starting to try and leave the house at night.

Its a tough call on what to do next when this happens, but unless someone can be with your dad 24/7 you won't be able to assure his safety. Wandering at night is worse because the neighbours won't spot him so easily. Although elderly they can get to a fair distance away from home.

I would contact the SS as to speak to the duty SW and tell them he is need of an urgent assessment as he is now wandering. Its a hard call to make when you care for someone but there does come a point when you have to see beyond those feelings and get help. Take care now

 

[deepetshopboy]

Thanks for your

 

[deepetshopboy]

Thanks ive contacted ss waiting for a assessment have to go back on the system again..its not something i ever wanted to do dad wasn’t wandering at night but twice this week has happened ive now moved in but cannot stay permanently
I was hoping to go down the assisted living route rather then care home as dad can still dress himself and make tea is aware still and can still have a conversation as such seems awful to do that to him .ive spoke to the memory clinic who said they cannot give anything for wandering suggested to get him tested for uti as i have and hes already on antibiotics will ring for the results on monday .The neighbours are no help as there all renters and students and he doesn’t know them also he was going out at 3 am nobody about .when i was going home at 9 pm then carer coming at 10 am then i was coming over after at 12 pm he was anxious anyway saying im not happy I shouldn’t be here it’s dangerous were do i live im going home tomorrow etc obviously not happy by himself.im completely torn im taking him to look at a home tomorrow to get a feel for it hes very old past friend is in there too (not dementia)so ill use that as a excuse I feel very bad even looking i said i would never ever have my dad in a home

 

[Palerider]

Thanks ive contacted ss waiting for a assessment have to go back on the system again..its not something i ever wanted to do dad wasn’t wandering at night but twice this week has happened ive now moved in but cannot stay permanently
I was hoping to go down the assisted living route rather then care home as dad can still dress himself and make tea is aware still and can still have a conversation as such seems awful to do that to him .ive spoke to the memory clinic who said they cannot give anything for wandering suggested to get him tested for uti as i have and hes already on antibiotics will ring for the results on monday .The neighbours are no help as there all renters and students and he doesn’t know them also he was going out at 3 am nobody about .when i was going home at 9 pm then carer coming at 10 am then i was coming over after at 12 pm he was anxious anyway saying im not happy I shouldn’t be here it’s dangerous were do i live im going home tomorrow etc obviously not happy by himself.im completely torn im taking him to look at a home tomorrow to get a feel for it hes very old past friend is in there too (not dementia)so ill use that as a excuse I feel very bad even looking i said i would never ever have my dad in a home

I hear you.

I was the same with mum, I dreaded the thought of a care home and it takes alot to make that decision, but its not all bad. I thought mum wouldn't like being in a CH, but she is actually ok and settling in well and it was time I think. I hope you find a way forward

 

[deepetshopboy]

My dad is only just turned 72 completely mobile , at times 50 per cent lucid if im honest a assisted living will be a bad experiment as he will be in a new flat , alone at night hes bad enough in hes own flat but then again if hes in a home i can imagine him ripping doors off in temper to get out of there he gets bored even when i take him for a few hours for a walk shopping etc
out as loads of energy ( used to go to the gym 4 times a week till 2014 mass every day shopping walking and holidays socalising all this stopped
unfortunately when he suddenly declined but what im trying to say is a home will take any independence hes got ie making himself food or tea away plus being surrounded by other dementia patents and hes freedom clipped will send him over the edge .
Im currently trying to get a 3 bed for him to live with me been looking for 2 yrs im a council tenant do not have the money to buy so i need to swap with another tenant have been frantically looking for a very long time with absolutely no help from my council so on Saturday i look at a small 3 bed house but again thats up
In the air weather if or when i will move or even take it and will be a big question mark weather my dad will settle ive been warned not to do it

 

[doodle1]

Ok I sympathise with you but I am going to be honest. This is not going to get better. There is no upside to dementia. For both your sakes you need to be looking at care homes. They are NOT all awful. Put emotion aside ( difficult ,I know ,trust me) and think logically about your situation. You are at the stage of " it's not what a person with dementia wants, it's what they need" look at homes there are good homes even at LPA rates. But you need to do your research.
I speak as one who has cared for both parents with dementia, suffered major house fire, violence and carer breakdown . I know it's not easy . And seriously think about your dads safety ,not about having his wings clipped. An accident would clip his wings for sure. A good care home still lets him make tea etc.
I genuinely wish you the best outcome