Hey everyone,
I joined a while ago but haven't known what to say or what to ask, moreover how?
It's a long complicated story that started roughly a year and a half ago. Mum started to get poorly, she is asthmatic and diabetic. We tried everything to get her to go to the GP before this but she insisted she was just under the weather. Then one morning she woke up struggling to breathe and seemed totally out of it, couldn't use her inhaler and it was like she didn't know what it was. I called an ambulance and they were great, were here within 10 mins, they took her to hospital. She had pneumonia, bad lung infection and a kidney infection, she had been a bit delirious too. She was in the hospital for 9 days, over this time she seemed so much better, had some colour back. She came home and was ok for a few weeks. Slowly declined again, chest infection, very agitated, stopped washing, went through a period where she kept brushing her hair as it was getting a little matted, she was almost obsessed with doing this, she also started to use her inhaler before she needed to, thinking she was breathless, using it as preventer. She has a preventer too but would not use it due to the oral thrush it causes.
I live at home with mum and have done due to my depression and various circumstances. We'd do everything together and she was always independent and looking after me, always being mum. The roles have now reversed and I am so lost and confused, Me and my brother do everything for her. which is fine, we don't mind in the least. So in July she ended up in the hospital again, she was more confused and her memory was getting worse, very concerning. Whilst in there she was meant to have an assessment with the psyche team, this didn't happen, they promised a lot but nothing happened. She was also diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, she was sent home after 5 days. Since then she declined, she spends her days in the living room on the sofa, she cannot walk on her own now or use her hands, she complains of numbness and tingling. Yesterday the worst happened, we took her to the toilet like we always do, when she is done she tells us and we help her back to the living room. This time she stood up and fell straight forward in front of us and hit her head.
We tried to get her up and noticed she was bleeding, with panic setting in and the blood, I just grabbed the phone and called 999, I was in a right state, I lost it when the guy on the phone was asking all these stupid questions after I had said she had fallen and cracked her head and is bleeding badly! my brother had to take the phone, I know it's their job to ask all this but in the time it was taking she could have bled to death. I was totally distraught. The ambulance was on its way but didn't get here as fast as usual, it seemed like a long time.
After being at A&E half the night and being checked out, she was started to get angry and was in so much pain, her neck was hurting and she was told to lie still, she refused the ct scan the first time and just wanted to go home. She wanted to sit up and I tried to explain she may have a neck injury, she started shouting and insisting. I had to help her up as gently as I could, she ended up slipping off the bed on the slippery floor and I had to call someone. 3 nurses and the dr came and helped her up, they started to see how serious this is, her memory, she had forgotten what had happened and was so confused, thought she was somewhere totally different. They had to sedate her then took her off for the ct scan.
The upshot is she had broken her neck, c1 vertebrae. At the hospital today she was in a neck brace, she looks so poorly what with that and the black eye she has, so near to her eye, she could have lost her eye or worse, she is very lucky to be alive today. The treatment we had at the hospital today was terrible, after seeing mum like that I burst into tears, the staff nurse and admin were at the desk and didn't even bother to do anything, they were there having a conversation between themselves and I don't think it was to do with their jobs. I went off to find someone and to tell them, think they were shocked too. Anyway, this staff nurse had disappeared by this time and we were spoken to and comforted by the nursing assistants. God bless them. They tried to reassure us that she is ok and talking. I had seen her and she didn't want to see me so upset, another nurse had said I know it's emotion but not good for mum and don't go back in until I compose myself in other words, I thought that was a bit off! Obviously, this is what I did and went back in and held her hand etc. She was very sleepy, we spoke to a young nurse who was totally on the ball and came and explained everything and what was going to happen and to voice her concerns. This is what we need, understanding.
Basically they are going to talk to other Dr's that she is seeing and get the mental health situation assessed asap. I was told by the renal specialist that is more than likely dementia, he is the one who referred her to the memory clinic, which we are still waiting for. And whatever else they can do to help with her mobility, we cannot have her at home as we live on the second floor with 4 flights of stairs, it would be impossible.
Our home is a bit haphazard and isn't suitable for someone who cannot walk and now has a broken neck. who do we tell this to? It wouldn't be safe for her while she is in this state.
I have no idea who to contact to ask, I feel we won't be taken seriously like the previous times when she was admitted. I am worried sick and I feel hopeless with my depression and anxiety. All I want is the best for mum and to eventually have her home.
So sorry about this essay of a post but I am desperate for help.
Thank you so much for reading x
I joined a while ago but haven't known what to say or what to ask, moreover how?
It's a long complicated story that started roughly a year and a half ago. Mum started to get poorly, she is asthmatic and diabetic. We tried everything to get her to go to the GP before this but she insisted she was just under the weather. Then one morning she woke up struggling to breathe and seemed totally out of it, couldn't use her inhaler and it was like she didn't know what it was. I called an ambulance and they were great, were here within 10 mins, they took her to hospital. She had pneumonia, bad lung infection and a kidney infection, she had been a bit delirious too. She was in the hospital for 9 days, over this time she seemed so much better, had some colour back. She came home and was ok for a few weeks. Slowly declined again, chest infection, very agitated, stopped washing, went through a period where she kept brushing her hair as it was getting a little matted, she was almost obsessed with doing this, she also started to use her inhaler before she needed to, thinking she was breathless, using it as preventer. She has a preventer too but would not use it due to the oral thrush it causes.
I live at home with mum and have done due to my depression and various circumstances. We'd do everything together and she was always independent and looking after me, always being mum. The roles have now reversed and I am so lost and confused, Me and my brother do everything for her. which is fine, we don't mind in the least. So in July she ended up in the hospital again, she was more confused and her memory was getting worse, very concerning. Whilst in there she was meant to have an assessment with the psyche team, this didn't happen, they promised a lot but nothing happened. She was also diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, she was sent home after 5 days. Since then she declined, she spends her days in the living room on the sofa, she cannot walk on her own now or use her hands, she complains of numbness and tingling. Yesterday the worst happened, we took her to the toilet like we always do, when she is done she tells us and we help her back to the living room. This time she stood up and fell straight forward in front of us and hit her head.
We tried to get her up and noticed she was bleeding, with panic setting in and the blood, I just grabbed the phone and called 999, I was in a right state, I lost it when the guy on the phone was asking all these stupid questions after I had said she had fallen and cracked her head and is bleeding badly! my brother had to take the phone, I know it's their job to ask all this but in the time it was taking she could have bled to death. I was totally distraught. The ambulance was on its way but didn't get here as fast as usual, it seemed like a long time.
After being at A&E half the night and being checked out, she was started to get angry and was in so much pain, her neck was hurting and she was told to lie still, she refused the ct scan the first time and just wanted to go home. She wanted to sit up and I tried to explain she may have a neck injury, she started shouting and insisting. I had to help her up as gently as I could, she ended up slipping off the bed on the slippery floor and I had to call someone. 3 nurses and the dr came and helped her up, they started to see how serious this is, her memory, she had forgotten what had happened and was so confused, thought she was somewhere totally different. They had to sedate her then took her off for the ct scan.
The upshot is she had broken her neck, c1 vertebrae. At the hospital today she was in a neck brace, she looks so poorly what with that and the black eye she has, so near to her eye, she could have lost her eye or worse, she is very lucky to be alive today. The treatment we had at the hospital today was terrible, after seeing mum like that I burst into tears, the staff nurse and admin were at the desk and didn't even bother to do anything, they were there having a conversation between themselves and I don't think it was to do with their jobs. I went off to find someone and to tell them, think they were shocked too. Anyway, this staff nurse had disappeared by this time and we were spoken to and comforted by the nursing assistants. God bless them. They tried to reassure us that she is ok and talking. I had seen her and she didn't want to see me so upset, another nurse had said I know it's emotion but not good for mum and don't go back in until I compose myself in other words, I thought that was a bit off! Obviously, this is what I did and went back in and held her hand etc. She was very sleepy, we spoke to a young nurse who was totally on the ball and came and explained everything and what was going to happen and to voice her concerns. This is what we need, understanding.
Basically they are going to talk to other Dr's that she is seeing and get the mental health situation assessed asap. I was told by the renal specialist that is more than likely dementia, he is the one who referred her to the memory clinic, which we are still waiting for. And whatever else they can do to help with her mobility, we cannot have her at home as we live on the second floor with 4 flights of stairs, it would be impossible.
Our home is a bit haphazard and isn't suitable for someone who cannot walk and now has a broken neck. who do we tell this to? It wouldn't be safe for her while she is in this state.
I have no idea who to contact to ask, I feel we won't be taken seriously like the previous times when she was admitted. I am worried sick and I feel hopeless with my depression and anxiety. All I want is the best for mum and to eventually have her home.
So sorry about this essay of a post but I am desperate for help.
Thank you so much for reading x
