Next of kin issues

[Cathyblue]

Hello to you all, here at the Alzheimers Society.
My dad is in his 80s and has quite advanced Alzheimers, with significant physical symptoms. He is now also struggling with double incontinence. He lives with his wife, (not my mother) a 2-3 hour drive from where I live.
She is named as his next of kin on his medical records.
In the past four weeks he has been admitted to hospital twice, with his wife only contacting me days after his admissions to tell me he is in hospital. When I ask her what he has been admitted with, she always says 'I dont know'. And when I telephone the hospital wards, they are unable to give out information about my dads condition due to patient confidentiality. I have had to take time off work to drive to the hospital to see my dad, and ask the staff what he was admitted with, how he is, what treatment he is receiving, what ongoing care he might need. I tried to highlight to the staff my concerns about my dads vulnerability, and the lack of meaningful dialogue with his wife, but I have no idea if anybody is taking my concerns seriously.
Is there anything I can do to ensure I receive more information about my dad, as the discussions I have had with his wife to explain how concerned I am, and how much I would appreciate being kept informed, have had no effect.

 

[nitram]

Your only solution is to get your dad, assuming he is judged to have capacity, to sign a document that he allows you to be informed of his condition and treatment.

 

[AztecCamera87]

I'm not my dads next of kin, my sister is, but I've never had any issues getting information from the hospital when I've called to find out what's going on, I have been put through to doctors to speak directly. Are rules different in different hospitals? My elderly aunt has never had issues getting information when she called the hospital when my dad was admitted.

 

[nitram]

Some hospitals are stricter than others.
From the OPs post it appears that telephone contact is stricter than actual presence at the hospital.
Maybe an approach along the lines of having got through to ward just asking 'how is my dad Mr *** today?' would help.

 

[Palerider]

You need to meet with his wife at the hospital and speak to the nurses and change the NOK details to both of you with her present. Interestingly, NOK is only a point of contact and has no legal barring to you if you visit in person as your fathers daughter unless there has been an express wish from your father that you are not given information or to be his NOK. I would raise this through PALS and highlight the difficulties.

 

[canary]

Hospitals are always more careful about giving information if you phone up as there is no way of verifying exactly who you are. Best to go in person with your step-mum.

 

[Cathyblue]

Your only solution is to get your dad, assuming he is judged to have capacity, to sign a document that he allows you to be informed of his condition and treatment.

Sadly my dad does not have capacity, and his understanding of what is happening fluctuates .

 

[Cathyblue]

Some hospitals are stricter than others.
From the OPs post it appears that telephone contact is stricter than actual presence at the hospital.
Maybe an approach along the lines of having got through to ward just asking 'how is my dad Mr *** today?' would help.

Thanks for that. Once I know he has been admitted I do ring the ward, and they will tell me how he is doing, but they will not tell me his diagnosis or treatment details. If his wife only answers 'i dont know' to my questions, how can I even find out the reason for his admission?

 

[love.dad.but..]

Maybe she doesn't really know..are they still doing tests?...maybe she is in denial...maybe she hasn't asked and only has vague knowledge of his diagnosis/treatment. Are you able to visit when the drs do their rounds on the wards? If so...you could try...I am ?'s daughter and not sure what the diagnosis is and what treatment plan is in place, could you just go through it with me so I have a better understanding, I would be most grateful!