Should I bring mum for days home or will it disorientate her

[buttercups]

Hi,
My mum is in late stages of alzheimer's and has lived with my husband and myself up until 6 months when it became impossible. Mum wasn't sleeping at night and needed one to care to stop her falling, she was becoming aggressive and very agitated. Long story short she is now in a nursing home. Before the onset of this horrific disease mum and myself were incredibly close. Although in the NH she is still agitated when she sees me, (every day), sh calms down considerably.
I was wondering if I should bring her home say once a week and look after her here for the day. I am quite capable of the one to one care, which she gets in nh I'm just concerned the experience will mix her up more and it will be depressing returning to her NH. Mum is very confused and nothing makes sense except when she sees me. She has a lot of short lived lucid moments. Any comments appreciated. Thanks

 

[Beate]

No No No. Absolutely Not. That is not the point of a nursing home. She needs to get settled, it's her home now. Please don't confuse her like that.

 

[Bunpoots]

My dad used to bring my mum home for a few hours once a week. She didn’t know where she was though by this stage (very advanced) and it was done more for my dad’s sake than mum’s as he liked to have the family together on a Sunday afternoon. But if your mum’s asking to go home it’s probably best to wait until she’s more settled.

 

[Grannie G]

I would have liked to have brought my husband home but didn`t dare take the risk. It would have been a disaster if it had unsettled him.

It would have felt like denying him his home a second time.

 

[canary]

I wouldnt if I were you. Its really not a good idea to remind her of things that used to be.
I used to take mum out for the day to places like a garden centre, or a walk in the park or along the sea front, then lunch at a cafe and sometimes for coffee in a friends home, but never back to where she had lived previously. I only took her back to her old home once and it was a complete disaster. The time that she was out got progressively less as the dementia advanced and she could only cope with shorter times away from her care home. Eventually she could not go out even for coffee in the cafe which was literally 100 yards up the road.

 

[Rosettastone57]

Hi,
My mum is in late stages of alzheimer's and has lived with my husband and myself up until 6 months when it became impossible. Mum wasn't sleeping at night and needed one to care to stop her falling, she was becoming aggressive and very agitated. Long story short she is now in a nursing home. Before the onset of this horrific disease mum and myself were incredibly close. Although in the NH she is still agitated when she sees me, (every day), sh calms down considerably.
I was wondering if I should bring her home say once a week and look after her here for the day. I am quite capable of the one to one care, which she gets in nh I'm just concerned the experience will mix her up more and it will be depressing returning to her NH. Mum is very confused and nothing makes sense except when she sees me. She has a lot of short lived lucid moments. Any comments appreciated. Thanks

Not a good idea. I'm sure that's not what you want to hear

No No No. Absolutely Not. That is not the point of a nursing home. She needs to get settled, it's her home now. Please don't confuse her like that.

Ditto. When my mother-in-law was in a care home, she never came out even at Christmas. It would have been too confusing. She needed to know the care home was her new home.

 

[buttercups]

Thank you do much everyone for your replies. You all seem to be in agreement with my husband who thinks it would be too disrupting to bring my mum home once a week or more.
I just felt it would calm her down when she was home and give her happiness, and hopfully she wudnt understand when we we took her back to nh.
I would be devastated if I confused her even more.
So I will probably not go there.
Thanks for replies. X