Extra Care Villages

[Pipeth]

My husband's behaviour continues to be difficult but thanks to TP I have been coping. My daughter wants me to move closer to her and has suggested an Extra Care Village. She is concerned as I have no time to myself and my health is being affected. My husband is losing his inhibitions, we live in a quiet area, he is walking about naked in the garden, raising his voice complaining about noise our new neighbours next door are making, they have been renovating since February. He is using awful language and gets really upset. All our neighbours are lovely and understanding, but I am constantly anxious, upset about my husbands dignity that I am trying so hard to maintain. He would rather be dead if he knew what was happening. His memory is minute to minute, his mobility is obviously going, our bathroom will need adapting, wheelchair access difficult. So I am considering my daughters suggestion. Does anyone have any experience of Extra Care Villages living with a PWD.

 

[jugglingmum]

My mum is in sheltered extra care, whilst it is an apartment block it is referred to as an extra care village.

She was in fairly early stages of dementia when she moved in, could still make tea, fry an egg, and sort out a sandwich. She is still there in her own flat, however I don't think she would have been able to move in as she is now, she has learnt the routines of the place.

It was made clear to me that the more challenging aspects of dementia weren't able to be catered for where my mum is, ie wandering, and aggression etc, as it is after all home to many with physical issues and no dementia.

I think some of your husbands behaviour would be unlikely to be accepted, but you could make enquiries.

 

[Kevinl]

Would you find an extra care village that would take someone with the type of challenging behaviour you've mentioned? My experience (as in I visited acouple) is that they're fairly gentle places so much so that neither were prepared to even do an assessment of my wife and both made it clear that they would only tolerate a certain level of behaviour before you had to leave.
Have a look at the place but if there's nobody there like your husband there's probably a reason.
K

 

[Pipeth]

Thank you juggling Mum, I did think this would be the case. I am thinking that removing the outdoor space and leaving the noises that are upsetting him might rid him of these behaviours. They are a young couple next door, children will be arriving. So feel things need to change. New medication maybe coming, which I am hoping will help. This village has dementia support.

 

[Pipeth]

Thank you Kevini, I have visited and as you say they are very gentle and sociable. My thoughts are removal of the garden from our home and away from children's noise, constant DIY going on might alleviate this type of behaviour.

 

[Kevinl]

Thank you Kevini, I have visited and as you say they are very gentile and sociable. My thoughts are removal of the garden from our home and away from children's noise, constant DIY going on might alleviate this type of behaviour.

It might help, but I doubt it, I hope does but if not what's plan B?
What it he carries on stripping and swearing and they want him out, where does that leave you?
If anything I've found that a change of environment tends to exacerbate symptoms not make them better, I don't know about extra care but very many people going into a care home often suffer a sharp decline in the first week of two, strange surroundings, new people all over the place, not knowing where everything is and who anyone is..It must be very disorienting.
K

 

[jenniferjean]

If anything I've found that a change of environment tends to exacerbate symptoms not make them better

That's true. We recently moved home, but it was a case of having to. My husband's condition has worsened significantly.

 

[jaymor]

I have friends in an extra care village and it’s a wonderful place to live. They have everything under one roof but as others have said, it’s for retired people needing a little extra care such as a nurse on duty a couple of times a week to do dressings, check blood pressure or take blood. There is no provision for care when it comes to dementia.

When they went into the complex as tenants they were told as long as the dementia of the husband did not affect other residents in any way they would be able to stay. Any problems and their tenancy would be ended. Luckily his dementia is slow, he has many other age related illnesses and they have had quite a few years in their apartment.

 

[Pipeth]

Thank you for replies, I am going to make further enquiries. There are people with dementia already in the village and it does have a dementia centre, with a dementia nurse and care. I do realise there would be a limit to the care. We would be buying an apartment, so it would become my home if OH had to go elsewhere. Just depends on finances and husbands reaction, we can stay in a guest suite for a week for that to be assessed. So plan B is a home for me near to family in the future and the possibility of having my husband with me in a place with care and all facilities OH and myself need for as long as possible. Helps writing thoughts on here and the feedback from TP friends is invaluable.