I care for my husband who is gradually having more and more continence problems and often ends up with wet clothes that need changing. This is really upsetting for him - and me, as he gets so upset that most times he will not let me help him change or clean up until a short while afterwards.
He often is upset and gets angry when I try to help initially so I've started to walk away for a moment or so and then go back to ask if he wants help. After a few times he'll usually let me help him.
He's now starting to have more accidents outside the home. I've tried to persuade and encourage him to wear the pants or pads but he's very resistant to this and it's a major battle if I can get him to wear them - and I'm not always able to do this as he gets so agitated. I sometimes think it's just not worth it.
I'm really disappointed about the choice (or lack of) pants for men. They look nothing like his usual pants and so after looking online I finally found some continence pants that were supposedly 'discreet'. They were black (like most of his usual pants) and even had a fly so he could go to the loo as usual if he got there. 'Great thinks I' but then they arrive and they've got a big white pad inside. When I first showed them to him, he readily accepted them and started to pull them on thinking they were his usual pants but then saw the pad! That was the end of them and, to be honest, the fit wasn't as good as the main high street brand.
I'm hoping that someone may have found somewhere that sells black continence pants that don't have a white pad?
I'm writing this after reading Amanda's story about how she is dealing with incontinence in her dementia. I thought she made some great points and also recognised the lack of choice, and dignity actually, that we seem to afford in designing appropriate discrete pants for people. My husband is in complete denial about his dementia (early onset) and so really can't understand why the pants might be helpful for him being able to keep dry. I have some sympathy having seen what he's expected to wear so any suggestions really welcome please!
He often is upset and gets angry when I try to help initially so I've started to walk away for a moment or so and then go back to ask if he wants help. After a few times he'll usually let me help him.
He's now starting to have more accidents outside the home. I've tried to persuade and encourage him to wear the pants or pads but he's very resistant to this and it's a major battle if I can get him to wear them - and I'm not always able to do this as he gets so agitated. I sometimes think it's just not worth it.
I'm really disappointed about the choice (or lack of) pants for men. They look nothing like his usual pants and so after looking online I finally found some continence pants that were supposedly 'discreet'. They were black (like most of his usual pants) and even had a fly so he could go to the loo as usual if he got there. 'Great thinks I' but then they arrive and they've got a big white pad inside. When I first showed them to him, he readily accepted them and started to pull them on thinking they were his usual pants but then saw the pad! That was the end of them and, to be honest, the fit wasn't as good as the main high street brand.
I'm hoping that someone may have found somewhere that sells black continence pants that don't have a white pad?
I'm writing this after reading Amanda's story about how she is dealing with incontinence in her dementia. I thought she made some great points and also recognised the lack of choice, and dignity actually, that we seem to afford in designing appropriate discrete pants for people. My husband is in complete denial about his dementia (early onset) and so really can't understand why the pants might be helpful for him being able to keep dry. I have some sympathy having seen what he's expected to wear so any suggestions really welcome please!
