Concerns over father-in-law

[JSnowball]

My father-in-law is 76, a usually spritely man with a good social life, however over the past 4 years or so I have seen him decline.

He's become withdrawn from his social circle, unable to string sentences together, misplacing words and names and generally having issues remembering.

He's always been an independent man and I feel a diagnosis for him would be a massive blow to him, however collectively as a family there are many concerns.

His daughter and son (my partner) have tried to get him to go to the GP and have raised concerns with the GP, however due to the laws around patient confidentiality, no conclusive results have come about. My FIL brushes off the appointments saying 'oh nothing was of concern to the doctor etc.etc.'

I guess what I am looking for is advice on how to gain a diagnosis/have tests carried out, without causing too much distress/upset.

Thank you in advance.

 

[Cat27]

Welcome to DTP @JSnowball.
Could one of you accompany him to the GP? Arrange it as a blood pressure check or something simple?

 

[Rosserk]

Hi your post is almost identical to my first post on here, the only difference is the problem related to my mother.

The issue got so bad I was literally at my wits end. I phoned the dell line and the lady I spoke with (who was actually amazing!) told me that legislation passed in 2017 allows relatives to call a persons GP and tell them that you are reporting that you believe someone has dementia and you are effectively passing the problem over to them. She told me to say ‘I believe my mother has dementia, she is a vulnerable adult and at risk if you don’t do something.’ She also advises me to follow it up with an email. The GP then has to do everything they can to see and assess the person. They might start by sending letters asking the person to come in for a review. If that doesn’t work as in my case the GP actually made a home visit. I didn’t tell mum he was coming he knocked on the door and she opened it and let him in. That started the whole chain events leading to diagnosis. It was the best thing I’ve ever done! When I phoned the surgery the receptionist initially refused to discuss it until I said I am reporting a vulnerable adult you need to check with your legal team and tell the doctor to call me ASAP! He was on the phone within the hour and I told him all the problems. He never told my mother anything about who had contacted him and stuck to the story it was a routine check up.

Good luck hope you get sorted soon!

 

[JSnowball]

Good luck hope you get sorted soon!

Thank you so much, this info has helped a lot.

I’ve passed this onto my other half and his sister and we’re now just waiting on a phone call back from the helpline.

 

[JSnowball]

Welcome to DTP JSnowball
Could one of you accompany him to the GP? Arrange it as a blood pressure check or something simple?

Sorry for the delayed reply! We tried to arrange a simple appointment but my FIL shut it down and cancelled it!

We're now in discussion with the doctors about the best way to go around it - luckily the GP we have chosen has specialisms in dementia.

 

[Shedrech]

hi @JSnowball
so good that the GP is on side

it's coming up to flu jab season, would your FIL go to the surgery for that ... and the GP could have a gentle chat with him ...