Private Carers

[brim]

Hi All,

I'm looking to find ways to get my Mother some respite from looking after her husband who has Alzheimers.

Some quick examples of how he is: he doesn't know he's married (30 years) , and walks in the road thinking it's the path - but he's still very jolly and sociable.

Ideally, I'd like somebody to accompany him on walks around the village (outside Northampton) and would
be happy to pay a private carer to do that.

However, I've been advised that would make my Mother an employer and liable for maternity/sick/holiday pay
etc.
They are under the saving test limits and are only on basic state pensions so any costs like that would sink them without trace.

Using an agency might prevent such employment claims (I believe there is case law to the contrary though)
and raise the costs by a tenner an hour or so, but the worst part is the lack of continuity of personnel.
Every time there's a new person, it'll be an issue.

Does anyone have any advice? Do we just ignore the employment issues, where might I find a recommended private carer?

and a million other questions.... any thoughts appreciated.

Steve

 

[Rosettastone57]

Hi All,

I'm looking to find ways to get my Mother some respite from looking after her husband who has Alzheimers.

Some quick examples of how he is: he doesn't know he's married (30 years) , and walks in the road thinking it's the path - but he's still very jolly and sociable.

Ideally, I'd like somebody to accompany him on walks around the village (outside Northampton) and would
be happy to pay a private carer to do that.

However, I've been advised that would make my Mother an employer and liable for maternity/sick/holiday pay
etc.
They are under the saving test limits and are only on basic state pensions so any costs like that would sink them without trace.

Using an agency might prevent such employment claims (I believe there is case law to the contrary though)
and raise the costs by a tenner an hour or so, but the worst part is the lack of continuity of personnel.
Every time there's a new person, it'll be an issue.

Does anyone have any advice? Do we just ignore the employment issues, where might I find a recommended private carer?

and a million other questions.... any thoughts appreciated.

Steve

Welcome. My mother-in-law had carers in three times a day from an agency and they provided a sitting service, if needed. They would also provide help with going out for visits. My mother-in-law had the same carers all week, split between 3 ladies. My mother-in-law was self funding, but if your father's assets are limited, then has he had a needs assessment from social services? They might suggest day centres. I'm sure others will be along soon with better advice

 

[Cat27]

Welcome to DTP @brim

Have you had a needs assessment done by social services? This may get you some funding towards carers.
Have you applied for pension credit for both and attendance allowance for your Dad?
https://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance
https://www.gov.uk/pension-credit

 

[Izzy]

Hi @brim and welcome to the forum.

I’m sorry to hear of your situation and can understand how hard it must be for your mum.

I wondered if you have considered a day care centre for your dad. My husband used to go to one and was there from 10.00 to 3.00.

I also had Direct Payments which my husband received after he had the care assessment which @Cat27 mentioned. I’m in Scotland so I won’t try to advise on that as I know our systems are different. I used the Direct Payments to employ a carer for him. This link might give you more information-

https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/practical-support/getting-care-and-support/direct-payments

You might also find some useful local services by putting the postcode in the link here -

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

I’m glad you’ve found this forum!

 

[brim]

Thanks for the replies, I'll reply to both here if I may.

He goes to an Age UK Day Centre twice a week (but complains it's boring).

I've done all the financial stuff (I think), he gets attendance allowance and recently some additional money for carers in the form of a direct payment.

He'll object to anyone new in the house,so that's not an option at the moment.
Hence the idea of a carer who could take him out for a walk or perhaps out to a cafe.
The keyword being out.
(Being in a fairly remote village doesn't help here...)

The legal aspects of directly recruited private carers concern me (employment rights)
so perhaps an agency is the only option, and just hope that the people don't change too often.

My mum must be down to 6 stones now and collapses in my arms in tears.

I would just like to pay somebody to take him for a walk, it doesn't seem much to ask.

Steve

 

[Canadian Joanne]

What about contacting your local churches to see if they have volunteers who would be willing to take your dad for a walk? Early in my mother's illness, she had what they called a Friendly Visitor from the Alzheimer Society here. It was a lady who was a retired mental health nurse and all volunteers were vetted by the police. It worked very well for about a year, until the lady had to quit due to family concerns. She was a lovely woman.

 

[dora]

I would just like to pay somebody to take him for a walk, it doesn't seem much to ask.

Steve

I found this http://www.voluntaryimpact.org.uk/post/happyhome-volunteer-befriender/

Has your mother had an assessment of her needs from SS? It sounds as if she may be heading for carer breakdown.

 

[nellbelles]

Welcome to DTP I wonder if you have this in your area?
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/your-support-services/side-by-side

 

[brim]

Yes, I talked to side by side.
They have to talk to the person concerned about their condition and wear badges,
he's in complete denial, will get angry and take it out on my mum so it's just not an option.
Otherwise, perfect.... This is the problem, nothing seems to fit.
Steve

 

[brim]

RE: happyhome-volunteer-befriender

That looks interesting, thank you.
I'll investigate.

My mum is the sort that says it's all fine, it's only a small house fire, it's only half the house
on fire etc.

She'll just struggle along until she can't.
She's hiding in her own house at the moment trying to get a moments peace.

 

[Sirena]

If you just want someone to take your dad out for a walk regularly, I don't see why a good agency wouldn't be able to fulfil that by using only one or two carers so you dad gets to know them. My mother had a care agency looking after her for 18 months, for 4-6 hours a day. The agency knew it was important she had continuity, so she had two main carers and two others who filled in when the main ones were not available. So she knew and liked them all. If you emphasise that continuity is important they should be able to provide this - obviously, they will first of all have to find someone your dad likes! My mother immediately took to her first carer so she struck lucky. I never used the word 'carer' and neither did the agency, they were just nice ladies who came to help my mother.

 

[brim]

re: I never used the word 'carer' and neither did the agency

OK, many thanks. That gives me hope, I'll contact some agencies.

A neighbour reported he was wandering up the middle of the road
today thinking it was the path... so it can't come soon enough.