Hi my mum is in a care home she has vascular dementia there is a standard dols in place I’ve been trying to find out if I remove her and don’t take her back will social services come and remove her from my house she did live with me for 4 years. There is no court order or safeguard in place so if I remove her can I get in trouble the last thing I want is to bring her home and then social services turn up and remove her she would be kicking and screaming. Before mum got moved care homes social worker said I could try mum home but she was not going to give me no support because she said it would unsettle her but it would not all I asked for was 3 days a week day care the reason I want to take mum is because she is asking to come home with me and I miss her so so much when I ask social worker if I can try her home she says it might be that a court has to decide where mum lives I don’t know why because all she wants to do is come with me. Any help please
My mum
- Thread starter Elsatyson
- Start date
DOLS stands for deprivation of liberty safeguards, so it is a safeguarding order, the decision having been made that your Mum should remain in the care home for her safety. I understand that you miss her but it's very common for those with dementia to ask to go home and you need to consider what's best for your Mum. Social services try to keep people at home rather than place them in a care home, and you mentioned in your previous posts that there was going to be a 'best interests' meeting. What was the outcome of that?
You may find it helpful to speak to someone on the Dementia Helpline about the situation:
0300 222 1122
Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday
9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday
9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday
10am – 4pm
You may find it helpful to speak to someone on the Dementia Helpline about the situation:
0300 222 1122
Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday
9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday
9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday
10am – 4pm
Hi the outcome was I could take her home but they were not going to give me any help all I asked for was day care my mum has got moderate dementia and is not on any medication it’s not just my mum asking to come home I want her home with me. I thought the dols was only for care homes do you have any idea what would happen if I just took her.
First of all, here is a link to the Alzheimers Society fact sheet on DoLS
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-s...lNjwCndpfXOplE3kbDsO9DOBNp9-zXTcaAlGvEALw_wcB
Read it and read it again, you are going to have become an expert on it. My wife was put on a DoLS a few weeks ago and our local council has been asked to review it. That might be your best course of action - ask advice from the professionals.
Secondly, ask for a copy of the "Best Interest" meeting which decided on home care. Find out what points were used for a care home, were they correct and have the benefits suggested materialised?
Thirdly, the care home is not a prison, so use it to your advantage. Take your mother back to your place every day and just let the care home deal with her at night.
Finally, really consider if looking after your mother is best for you in the long term. I would argue passionately to look after my wife rather than let her go into a care home. However, I know at some point this course of action will affect my health and she will still end up in a care home.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-s...lNjwCndpfXOplE3kbDsO9DOBNp9-zXTcaAlGvEALw_wcB
Read it and read it again, you are going to have become an expert on it. My wife was put on a DoLS a few weeks ago and our local council has been asked to review it. That might be your best course of action - ask advice from the professionals.
Secondly, ask for a copy of the "Best Interest" meeting which decided on home care. Find out what points were used for a care home, were they correct and have the benefits suggested materialised?
Thirdly, the care home is not a prison, so use it to your advantage. Take your mother back to your place every day and just let the care home deal with her at night.
Finally, really consider if looking after your mother is best for you in the long term. I would argue passionately to look after my wife rather than let her go into a care home. However, I know at some point this course of action will affect my health and she will still end up in a care home.
Hi thank you I’m just fed up with best interest meetings and getting know where with social services all the social worker goes on about is court of protection I told her to do it I would like to tell the judge that they have give me know help all I want is mum home I can’t bring her home every day she is a 40 minute drive away from me
It sounds like everything which could have gone wrong has gone wrong. Seek advice, try and get help.
