TriciBee,. I'm not sure if I'm going to be any help, but my OH has been in a CH for a year now. I've probably already said this in one or other of my previous posts, but I have found that getting a routine fixed has helped. I'm lucky in that he knows exactly who I am but this can be difficult as he just worries about where I am and what I'm doing. Even though I may not necessarily be doing what I tell him I am, because it's part of the routine he kind of accepts it. He will often ask about coming home, why can't he come home, where is home ?? I try to explain that he has to stay there because I can't care for him on my own and keep him safe. He'll shout and rant for a few minutes then I just quietly change the subject. It's not nice but it's the only way I can deal with it. I avoid mentioning anything to do with our cottage and I never refer to it as "home" When I leave him after a visit I just tell him I'm going back to the cottage or the name of our village. He doesn't remember how to get there or the cottage so I think it's better to leave it that way. I don't talk about what I'm doing at home such as gardening or sitting outside as I think that may stir up something. I try to concentrate on what's around him at the home. He doesn't take any interest in anything going on there, but keeps himself to himself mainly. It's certainly not easy is it? Today even though he had it in his diary that I would be there at 4pm, when I arrived just before 4, he burst into tears. He said he'd been waiting and waiting for me and was so glad I'd got there. I tried to console him saying he knew I'd be there and perhaps having the TV on might take his mind off the time, well, he just went ballistic shouting "don't preach, don't tell me what to do, I don't want the TV on" This went on for a few minutes so I left the room then came back in and said"let's start again" He was ok then. In a very long winded way, what I'm trying to say is that you are doing your best and you have to try to rise above the angst. He's safe and well looked after, I hope. The sad thing is, we partners remember all these horrible times, our PWD probably don't. Each day is a new day. My OH certainly isn't settled, but he's gradually accepting the situation a bit better. Keep telling yourself that. Earnest xx