Driving! Help!

[mollymoo2]

We had a confirmed diagnosis for my mum recently and they have told her not to drive. They have also started her on medication. I immediately took her off the insurance. Just called and found out she’s been driving it’s was the most horrendous call and now I’m upset. She was awful. I spoke to my dad and she was screaming at him he really isn’t coping.
I have power of attorney for finance and health so tomorrow I sending it to the dvla together with the diagnosis letter and explaining the situation. I’m at my wits end she just not accepting her diagnosis and I know it’s because of the disease. I was so close to my mum and now we are just arguing all the time even though I’m trying to keep calm. Anybody help me with ways I can get her to understand she can’t drive anymore. I will also be contacting the mental health team tomorrow to see if they can help.

 

[Sirena]

You need to take the car keys away so she can't drive. Avoid discussions about it with her, the illness means that she won't understand or accept it so you need to prevent her from doing it. Arguing with her will just upset you both and get you nowhere.

This may help in thinking about ways of communicating with her

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

 

[maryjoan]

When this happened with my OH - the Dr had told him not to drive, and OH filled in the DVLA form saying that he felt he was absolutely fine to drive - I spoke to the Dr who wrote to the DVLA himself.

I point blank refused to get in the car with him - so no outings, no shopping, no nothing.

I then reminded him about my little grandchildren - whom he loves- and how would he feel if he knocked a child down and hurt them or worse.

I then told him that if he got in the car, I would phone the police and report him for dangerous driving.

Finally, I told him if he got in the car just once more, I would leave him.

He got the message. The car was sold. We now make do with buses in this remote village, but better than him being a danger out there.

 

[Woo2]

hi @mollymoo2 , welcome to tp , I am sure someone with more experience will be along soon. My Mum had a car accident (minor ) no one hurt and it stopped her driving so we were quite fortunate . If it’s a shared car with dad it could be harder to remove keys. Could you get a bus pass ? Maybe trying some reverse psychology . Sorry I can’t offer much help but you will find lots of support here . Best wishes .

 

[BluTinks]

I wrote a letter to my mothers doctor explaining she was still driving even though she had been told not to. Doctor then had a duty to inform DVLA her licence was revoked immediately, she still continued to drive taking keys away no good as the rage was awful in the house so eventually got rid of the car. Solved the problem

 

[Rach1985]

Here’s the link to the relevant form to notify the dvla save you writing a letter to them

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/cg1-online-confidential-medical-information

We are currently dealing with this with my dad it’s an absolute nightmare

 

[Shedrech]

hi @mollymoo2
just concerned that you might send your original LPA document to the DVLA .... only send a certified copy to anyone you need to notify, and make it clear you want the document back
the original you need to keep safe