Help! Neighbour May have dementia

[Specialstace]

Hi all!

I hope this is Ok to post in here.

I have just moved in to my new flat 2 weeks ago. I haven't seen or even heard any Neighbours, I work late so im not really around much. I live alone with my wee dog, I dont party or have people round etc.

So last week i was in my sitting room, which joins on to my kitchen. My kitchen window was open, and i heard someone shouting, so i went to look and there was this elderly lady, staring in thru my window balling and shouting "You are a *******dirty ******* over and over again, "get those curtains ******* shut" I was absolutely shocked, I was shaking trying to explain to her that I was a female and just moved in, and why was she calling me This, but she just kept shouting she was calling the police. She walked around the front of the building and went in to the block of flats straight facing mine, then went to her window, which faces on to mine, she is one up, I'm ground floor, and stared in making faces and laughing for 2 hours. I let it go and figured she must be not well, as in no way have i done anything that would incur her to call me that etc, I was really hoping it was a one off, I was wrong. I walked out to my partners car today to get his tools and she opened her window and started shouting I was the same thing as last time and that she was gonna "stick a hot poker right up me" shouting and swearing. I went inside after again trying to explain I hadn't done anything. She then stared again for the whole time my partner and i were still in the flat, laughing and making gestures. When we left she started shouting things again. It's really scaring me, especially as I am ground floor. I feel so bad for her, not mad, just freaked out. What must my new neighbours think of me when she is shouting things like this. Today I called the police, just to see if they could pay a wee visit to her and try figure out what is going on. I'm almost certain she has dementia or similar, as its just not right. I hate to sound selfish, but how can I possibly stop This, if she is Ill and lives alone (as far as I know). I can't imagine having this happen all the time, I cant relax at all in my new place. I'm not around enough to know if anyone visits her or anything, and thot better to call the police than try sort it out my self as wouldnt want to scare the lady if she is seeing something that's not real and she truly believes I am a bad person. The police are coming tomorrow at 4:30pm, hopefully they can maybe speak to some of her neighbours and maybe they will know something. What can I do tho if this does keep happening? As i doubt the police telling her to stop will make much difference if the poor soul is going through something like dementia. Would I go to social work? Council?

Thanks so much in advance.

Xx

 

[Sarasa]

Hi @Specialstace and welcome to Dementia Talking Point.
Your neighbour may not have dementia but another mental illness, but it certainly sounds the sort of behaviour that you might expect from a person with dementia (PWD) .My mother might have been your neighbour. She took against the people who moved in next door as she thought they were getting into her flat and stealing things. She would go and bang on their door (once in her bath towel) and accuse them of various things. These included controlling her bathroom heater, hence the bath towel, taking her clothes and stealing money. At times she thought they'd moved in too.
She called the police about it several times and they were very good. As well as them contacting social services (not so good) or the paramedics(excellent) they tried to persuade her to ignore the neighbour's while making her feel like she wasn't wasting their time.
As well as the police I suggest contacting social services and raising your concerns about a vulnerable towards whom they have a duty of care.
if you can try not to take it personally. When you meet others in your flats you may find she has done this to others where you live.

 

[Bunpoots]

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Specialstace

I’m sorry to read about the trouble you’re having with your neighbour. I also have a neighbour with dementia and occasionally she gives an impromptu concert on the street at 3am and gives her poor husband a proper telling off when he tries to stop her. It’s annoying when it wakes me but not threatening like yours.

You’ve done the right thing calling the police, they may already have heard about her from other neighbours. It does sound as though she may have dementia or some other mental illness and it also sounds as though she’s putting herself at risk with her behaviour. Someone else may not be as understanding as you and she could find herself on the other side of aggression or even violence.

As @Sarasa has suggested call Social Services and speak to Adult Care to raise a safeguarding concern. This lady is a “vulnerable adult” who is putting herself at risk.

If your flat is rented it might also be worth speaking to the landlord and let him or her know what is happening. They may own or know who owns the other flat and could also put in a report to SS. It sounds to me as though she should be in a secure hospital or home where she can be kept safe while her condition is assessed and,if possible, treated.

Don’t forget to keep yourself safe. You have the right to live in peace and quiet and to feel safe in your own home. I hope you can get some help. Please let us know what happens.

 

[canary]

Calling the Police is the right thing to do.

My mum got to the stage of wandering around and banging on neighbours doors at 2.00am. I did not know about it as I didnt live with her and the neighbours were understanding and didnt tell me. There was one lady across the road who had called the police because mum was harassing her, but again, no-one told me. When they did tell me I was at a loss to know what to do because SS were not listening to me as mum said she didnt want any help. I now know that in these sort of circumstances the police will send a report to SS which will add to the evidence that this lady is not coping on her own. You can also contact SS safeguarding yourself.

Are other people in the flats being bothered by her? If so, perhaps they could contact the police and/or SS too.