Bit of a melt down today! All Tips Welcome!

[Donkeyshere]

I had a bit of a melt down at the docs today, been working too long hours, stressing out about the MIL and her dementia (she lives with us) and work, stressing out about how my husband is coping looking after the MIL, went belly up at work with a deadline = melt down (hand me the tissues please doc and try not to squeak my way through meltdown!) Didn't realise how stressed I was, but my mind went into anxiety hyperdrive! But I come on here and see there are people with much more to deal with than me, even though the MIL is declining more quickly now, she is not too bad in comparison. Others on here have it harder so wonder what are you tips for keeping yourself on a level playing field? I've decided to allow myself a bit of slack and make myself realise you cannot do it all. Something to reflect on in the coming months. All Tips Welcome!

 

[canary]

Cutting yourself some slack and realising that you cant do everything are probably the two most important things.

BTW, something that I have noticed is that when we are looking at our own situation it doesnt seem that bad really, and when we look at other people situation it somehow seems so much worse that our own. I think our brains somehow draw a veil over things when we are going through a stressful time, so we are not really aware of how bad they are.

Can you get more help in?

 

[Donkeyshere]

Cutting yourself some slack and realising that you cant do everything are probably the two most important things.

BTW, something that I have noticed is that when we are looking at our own situation it doesnt seem that bad really, and when we look at other people situation it somehow seems so much worse that our own. I think our brains somehow draw a veil over things when we are going through a stressful time, so we are not really aware of how bad they are.

Can you get more help in?

Funny I just suggested that we get a cleaner in - no buy me a lightweight hoover and I will do more the Hubby says - Amazon here we come - strike whilst the iron is hot!

 

[Shedrech]

oh @Donkeyshere
me, I'd say "Wow those vacuum cleaners are expensive, let's get a lovely lady (or gent) in and both of us have a rest instead!"

 

[Donkeyshere]

oh @Donkeyshere
me, I'd say "Wow those vacuum cleaners are expensive, let's get a lovely lady (or gent) in and both of us have a rest instead!"

Too late hoover bought - although it was cheaper in violet! He has a lot more rest than me so I think its a fair buy!

 

[marionq]

I bought one of those stick ones a couple of years ago. Great. Now I’ve upgraded to the animal one though I dont have any animals. Even better.

Try as best you can to make life easier in any way possible. I sail through the two days my husband is at daycare then I have five days on my own with him. That is when meltdowns occur. It’s too much. Issues over incontinence are top of the list at present. We had a lovely nurse at the clinic who has gone off on maternity leave and the new one doesn’t answer my calls! I have made various attempts to talk to husband about his thoughts on how things are but he has forgotten the question by the time I wait for an answer.

 

[Linbrusco]

Trying to juggle a job in between running a household, relationships and caring for someone, especially with dementia is a huge stress on anyone. Add children or grandchildren on top
Regardless if the person you are caring for is not at a stage compared to others we all have differing family/work situation and different coping levels.

For my own sanity when I was caring for Mum, I changed my 4 days a week with shorter hours to 3 days a week with longer hours but arranged Day Care for Mum on those 3 days.
Is there anyway you can cut back on your workload?
MIL go into daycare or someone come in to give you and your husband a break?

 

[Donkeyshere]

Trying to juggle a job in between running a household, relationships and caring for someone, especially with dementia is a huge stress on anyone. Add children or grandchildren on top
Regardless if the person you are caring for is not at a stage compared to others we all have differing family/work situation and different coping levels.

For my own sanity when I was caring for Mum, I changed my 4 days a week with shorter hours to 3 days a week with longer hours but arranged Day Care for Mum on those 3 days.
Is there anyway you can cut back on your workload?
MIL go into daycare or someone come in to give you and your husband a break?

Hi - Managed to get a few days away in the end got back today - but I did discuss with my Hubby when away that despite the MIL being adamant about not going into a home, there will come a time when I will not put myself or him into a position that we can no longer cope with and I will reduce my hours down when the time comes. He agreed - on a lighter note the seller on Amazon cancelled the hoover order as it was outside the UK - my husband was very upset when he hear this (not!)