Should l be doing something differently?

[Ohso]

Since moving mum in with me her days have settled into a routine of sorts, kinda reminds me of having a young child in the house, can anyone relate to this?
6.00-6.15am Me -walk to toilet/small drink, back to bed( sleep)
7.30am open curtains
9.00-10am Carer -toilet/breakfast/meds back to bed ( sleep)
1.30-2.30pm Carer - toilet/lunch/chat/ back to bed ( sleep)
5.30-7.00pm Carer - toilet/dinner/meds/wash or shower/clean nighty/chat/ watch TV
7.00pm Me - l go in close curtains put side light on and sit with mum, if agitated l sit with her, if not she often wants to get into bed and sleep.
Through the night she will get herself to toilet or commode and will come find me if anxious and l will sit with her.
We have tried keeping her awake and engaging her in TV radio etc but she isnt i interested
My instinct is to let her set her pace and to keep a good routine as this make for less anxiety, but its difficult to know if im.failing.

 

[marionq]

You can’t win and so you can’t fail. All you can do is your best and try to survive this. Best wishes.

 

[father ted]

Not sure how long your Mum has been with you but it sounds as if you have set a good routine and that will help. You say your Mum gets herself to the loo at night and she will only call on you if anxious.
I must say that when my Mum lived with me it was being disturbed night after night that finally made me look to a care home.
I wish you well. As you say Mum will set the pace and you will respond to that until circumstances make you reassess the situation and then it won't be down to any failure on your part.

 

[Ohso]

Thank you both, mum has only been here for almost two weeks, so very early days and lots of changes for her to cope with, two new private carers ( who are brilliant) so with luck things will continue smoothly, at least for a while.

 

[Lyd]

we moved my MIL to live near us. the first month was awful she was so distressed calling the house "my terrible mistake" wanting to move to be near her family, forgetting who we were. it has got better and routine does help. be proud of what you are doing out of love and yes i agree with feeling its like having a small child.