Mum

[Iamarshall]

Hi . Ive been following for a while. Mum 75 thinks shes 73. October 2018 after 2 years of trying to get her to Dr was referred to memory clinic. Onset vascular dementia possibly, hydrocephalus, small vessel disease. Huge decline in last two months. Constant cough too and no infection. Struggles with cooking now, taken to meals she can just pop in oven. However has been forgetting food too. Mum likes wine , rose, a half to full bottle virtually every day oh and smokes, has done for 50 years. Was advised to reduce, this is not easy for her to understand. Conversation is on a loop, what am i eating, what day is it, help me , im scared. Ive made a referral for some support/care at home. Mum not cleaning house and concerned not washing often. Has worn the same clothes apart from underwear for the last 3 weeks. What more can we do as a family to help. We see her in turns every day. I speak to her at least 4 times on the phone daily. My late father is referred to as her late husband and not your dad. Dad died of cancer in 2010. He was and is the absolute love of her life. Gp is referring again to memory clinic. Mum is 75 and 43kg, its awful seeing her so tiny , she does have chronic IBS, medicated daily . I just want more help so she can have a better life

 

[Shedrech]

hello @lamarshall and welcome
I'm glad you've started posting, it does help to share experiences with others
you say you've requested an assessment of your mum's care needs and that's really what begins to get support in place
I started getting hands on with dad's care myself, eg putting out his clean clothes for the next day, checking on his washing, making sure his fridge was cleared out then refilled regularly with ready prepared foods and snacks ....
look into financial and legal affairs too eg Lasting Powers of Attorney and applying for Attendance Allowance
and keep posting with anything that's on your mind

 

[Iamarshall]

Hi shedrech, thanks for replying. I was waffling a bit in previous post so left a few bits out. I label food so mum knows what she is having each day. I tidy up most days but honestly feel awkward. Mums asked for help doing things like putting clothes away but when i do she gets quite agitated. I would like to give house a thorough clean but i dont want to suggest shes not doing things well . I dont want to intrude or invade her space but i think over time she will accept more help