Thank you for your post. Yes this stage is hard. I just bought a Neil Diamond CD to play to my mum, as she really likes him. Today mum kissed my hand. I am thankful of the prayer support from my local church. Read psalm 121 to mum today.
Mum entering end of life stage
- Thread starter Antkin
- Start date
Thank you for your post. Yes this stage is hard. I just bought a Neil Diamond CD to play to my mum, as she really likes him. Today mum kissed my hand. I am thankful of the prayer support from my local church. Read psalm 121 to mum today.
That sounds lovely & will hopefully bring you some comfort & your mum will enjoy the music.
As Canary says some people last a lot longer than expected at this stage.
We all thought that my mum would last no more than 48 hrs on the syringe driver but it was just over a week in the end which totally amazed us.
We went through so many emotions as well. Stay strong.
Just got in from visiting mum, she did not recognize Neil Diamond on the CD cover, but once the CD was playing she knew the songs. Mum quite settled today. Just another day of bed turning and mouth care by the staff. I will visit again tomorrow morning. Read psalm 23 to mum this afternoon.
I’m so sorry to hear this but as you say just having one morphine injection was a blessing for her. Please look after yourself. It all seems a bit unreal at first especially when you have been at her bedside for quite some time.
(((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry for your loss.
She is at peace now. Try and get some peace yourself.
She is at peace now. Try and get some peace yourself.
I'm new to this forum. Thank you all for your open and honest portrayal of the end of life stage. My mother has been on a liquid diet (soups or purees) for a while but is rejecting these, as well as most drinks now too. She's asleep all of the time and her breathing is frequently interrupted. All medical people have said it's a matter of days or weeks at most before she passes away and like you've said, it feels like we're just waiting now. I wanted to get a sense of what people do when the drinking stops to make her comfortable. I've been thinking about the sponge sticks, so we might give those a try. Thank you and my best wishes to everyone at this tough time.
Sorry to hear about your mum. Today was my mum's funeral so I am a matter of days ahead of you. The use of sponge sticks has been discontinued due to somebody swallowing the sponge that resulted in a death. The care staff wetted my mums lips and cleaned her tongue for two weeks, they changed from water to pineapple juice when mum was nearing the end. Keep an eye on your mum's feet as the body shuts down they go black due to lack of circulation. I found that admiral nurses phone call and two fact sheets prepared me for mums demise. In the last 10 hours mum had a rattle in her throat which was a sure sign. Peace be with you at this time.
I am just writing to say you have my thoughts and prayers. My Mum passed on 9th April facing a similar situation. (My post is somewhere on here called 'Last words'.) The care home had to follow what they called 'mouth care'. Moistening a tooth brush and wiping it on my Mum's teeth and gums, encouraging her to suck on it. Mum had not had very little to eat or drink in the weeks before it so I knew it was near her time but still hoped.
I held her hand, played her favourite music, talked to her, but I still felt helpless. was it enough? Does it matter? I don't know the answers to that but even if there was the slightest, tinniest hope that it made a difference to Mum, helped her, then I would do it.
Take comfort in the people around you. Know that for you, like they were for me, everyone here wishes you the best and it helps.
I held her hand, played her favourite music, talked to her, but I still felt helpless. was it enough? Does it matter? I don't know the answers to that but even if there was the slightest, tinniest hope that it made a difference to Mum, helped her, then I would do it.
Take comfort in the people around you. Know that for you, like they were for me, everyone here wishes you the best and it helps.
Yes it was enough to hold your mum's hand, talk to her and play music, that is what I did for my mum. Just being there would have been a comfort to her. My prayer is that each person will see the blessing of a passing into glory. Dementia reduces a person to a shadow of what they were.
When mum reached that stage the district nurse gave us some little brushes (we wernt allowed sponges) to use to moisten her mouth. We also used lip salve as her lips got very dry and moisturiser on her face and skin as her skin got very dry too.
Im sending you some ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) for you to dip into when the going gets hard.
Big hugs go out to you. Certainly lip salves can be used on the mouth to prevent dryness, you can use the toothbrush kind of swab stick for moisture which can be sucked on safely. If liquid is building up in the mouth then it can be suctioned out via a tube.
Is your mum on syringe driver meds?
These can be adjusted so if she looks like she is in pain or in distress, she can be given extra top ups of morphine or anti anxiety meds & meds to dry up secretions.
I am sure just being there will help, even though she can’t talk.
As your mum nears the end, you might notice that her hands & feet swell & get mottled in colour, purple mottling. Her breathing pattern will alter & usually when the breathing starts to rattle then that usually does not go on for much longer than 24 hrs. I felt it helped me know what was happening physically to my mum to help prepare me so I did read up about it & it was in the leaflet the hospital gave me.
Big hugs to you. It is an awful time xx
I am so touched by what I Have read and very thankful for all the details that each of you very openly express. As my mum’s situation develops I hope I can be as open and Equally comforting to anyone else that enters.
My mum is at the stage we’re she appears to be losing her appetite and experiencing more regular bouts of diarrhoea following periods of constipation. She is taking longer to eat her meals and is very sleepy. My mum enjoys hearing music and taps the bed, which is usually the only physical response I see.
My mum is at the stage we’re she appears to be losing her appetite and experiencing more regular bouts of diarrhoea following periods of constipation. She is taking longer to eat her meals and is very sleepy. My mum enjoys hearing music and taps the bed, which is usually the only physical response I see.
We are a very honest and open group of people that have gone or going through this last stage of dementia. We want to help others understand this stage and guide each person. Feel free to ask the difficult and sometimes painful questions.
In the later stages all mum could do was to hum to the tunes. She was also very sleepy awake just 10 minutes in every hour. On the last night with her mum just kept her eyes open for hours at a time.
I’ve been through end stage with my husband last year. I was in denial as he had bounced back so many times before but as late as the day before, it was apparent he was near the end. Although end of life meds were suggested i know he wouldn’t have wanted that as i knew it was the last resort. But on the day he passed i finally agreed to give him something to clear his throat, it seemed noisy and he couldn’t cough, he was asleep most of the time. But soon after he was given the injection, he passed, like he didn’t want to have any more meds, any morphine or anything. He wouldn’t have wanted it. I know i did my best for him .
We do what we know is best for our loved one, whatever makes them more comfortable and settled. Everyone is different.
We do what we know is best for our loved one, whatever makes them more comfortable and settled. Everyone is different.
Thank you for your post. May I welcome you as a member to the forum. My mum had one dose of morphine the day before she passed and also had the injection to help clear her throat. Each person goes through this stage sometimes wonder with what if and what is best for them. The morphine worked the throat injection had no effect. I am thankful that mum passed into the next life quiet peacefully. Please do consider to post your insights as they could be helpful to others. Peace be with you.
