Does anyone know who the woman ‘expert’ in the flowery dress was? I was speechless at her lack of understanding.
ThisMorning TV
- Thread starter Angryperson
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dancer12 your post was just as if I wrote it =warm weather a walk = need 5 mins to do something pop a TV programme on that gets OH attention. Just like we did years ago with the children .thank God for reruns lol.Hi maryjoan:
Let's hope for nice, warm weather. My husband needs 24/7 care, if it's nice weather at least we can go for a walk. I used to hate when the baseball games were on tv (he enjoys watching the games). Now I look forward to the baseball games being on tv, I can just sit him in front of tv and I get a break for 3-4 hours If I needed a break from my kids when they were young I'd just pop in a movie for them to watch. Sad really but reality is what it is, we have to keep our sanity somehow because nobody else will keep it for us.Not that anyone would want to live in our reality.
Many cyber hugs coming your way. Take care.
can you record the games to be able to play them over again, he may not know they are repeats and just be happy to watch them while you have a break.Hi maryjoan:
Let's hope for nice, warm weather. My husband needs 24/7 care, if it's nice weather at least we can go for a walk. I used to hate when the baseball games were on tv (he enjoys watching the games). Now I look forward to the baseball games being on tv, I can just sit him in front of tv and I get a break for 3-4 hours If I needed a break from my kids when they were young I'd just pop in a movie for them to watch. Sad really but reality is what it is, we have to keep our sanity somehow because nobody else will keep it for us.
Many cyber hugs coming your way. Take care.
Wise man, Patbryn! I think I am inclined to do the same, but like many Carers I am finding it a good 'baby sitter'
as my husband wears earphones. Not that I can be actually out of earshot as he needs 24/7 monitoring, but I can use the time quietly.
Even preparing food in the adjoining room becomes a mini respite while he watches.
I avoid most programmes that increase my stress levels on the basis of having enough stress for me to tackle at the best of times.
We do enjoy some gentle things, there have been some gems and slow TV has been a hit. Especially those that trigger past memories or are just pleasant. Walks are getting difficult and like others lack of transport curtails one.
I find for myself it helps to omit the word 'normal', my personality suits being in the present as far as able.
Yesterday, I was able to listen to a talk on my iPad, it was about being able to let things go by a psychiatrist and neuroscientist. Peter Fenwick, he spoke about mind and brain function. The mystery of the mind not being wholly dependent on the brain. This mind/brain connection has always fascinated me.
He said that research has shown people who are very brain damaged and with severe Alzheimer's often have great clarity and lucidity before they die. He explained much of our pain is caused by clinging on.
He was gentle and clear, he lacked ego. His work record is impeccable.
I have treated myself to one of his books.
I avoid self acclaimed 'experts' especially since one a very highly qualified child psychologist took to ringing me every time she had a problem with her own child.
I am not entirely oblivious of what is going on in the world, I read an article of the influence of Google, a comment by someone mentioned a alternative search engine Ecosia as every 45 searches earns enough to plant a tree. No unnecessary data collection.
It seems to work well, I have found a simple email host with encrypted mail and no adverts intruding. Having to do so much on line I need security and simplicity.
However as a Carer, my interest in wider issues has had to shrink a little, quite a change.
Sometimes it does seem that embracing the changes in life, on the basis that Change is the only certainty in life that there is always Change, may protect us from the 'experts' a little.
Perhaps we should take a leaf out of Patbryns book. Much of TV gives simplistic answers, winds us up but with no solution. I do not need to be overwound up, I can do that for my self!
My mum has a tele and she is who I care for, so i do see little bits of the programs as I try to find something suitable for her to watch, what I have found since stopping watching myself is the level of violence and rage and all sorts of negative things has increased ten fold on the tele to the point it shocks and even upsets me. With a lot of button pressing there are nice gentle, pleasant things for mum to watch. Adverts! the adverts are also now very clever they sink straight into mums mind, if she watched the news i think that would have the same negative effect?
The radio in this house is our salvation, classic FM seems to keep her calm and happy and me too.
The radio in this house is our salvation, classic FM seems to keep her calm and happy and me too.
This is one blessing for my husband, that he is not clinging on because he is not quite aware of the situation. That said he did comment out of the blue at lunch that he would be dying soon because you do at his age. He seemed very calm when he said that and he is an anxious person. I am well aware of the realities of death and dying through my work, having cared for people. I have always been worried about how he would face it and now this disease is protecting him because of the way it is showing.
It is interesting he had said that. I feel that it is too easy to dismiss what goes on in the mind at a subconscious level of knowing. Peter Fenwick made some interesting points.
I have always felt the denial of the reality makes it harder, I have been interested since the early days of the hospice movement. Ram Das and Stephen Livine had imput during the early days of AIDS.
Just as it is said that hearing is the last to go, I strongly feel in care the body language is paramount. When people are dying they are often Ultra aware.
I think we have to bear this in mind when caring that this is an important stage of life.
I feel knowing this puts another meaning into how we care. I am not suggesting it is any easier!
I suppose much depends on personality and background.
Yes, I find this too, I prefer the Radio, if I had to choose I would dump the TV!
I used to wonder how even radio affected children, if they heard arguments when in bed would they think it was their parents? It must confuse young and those on the dementia spectrum.
I do think more attention needs to be given to those with dementia, things seen on TV can be thought of as real as the brain fails to filter things.
I try to find feel good happy things to watch, the news is so graphic. Imagination is enough. Your mum sounds lucky to have you.
My husband does exactly this and reacts to TV drama as if it’s real life. This really threw me at first but it shows you what you get used to because I don’t think about it now.
I love the quotation under your post, I have never worked out how to put these on.
I do wonder that being over exposed to to third party traumas when one has not a strong logical ability affects the emotions, even with this I think it has an effect good and bad, otherwise the advertisement industry would collapse. Adverts are very clever, although many for me are a turn off rather than a turn on.
But when cognitive ability slips I do wonder how it could increase underlying anxiety problems for the people we care for. They can take thinks so literally.
I find dealing with anxiety seems to be the key at the moment.
Lowering and slowing the voice, a loving touch as I pass, makes all the difference. I feel it is the same with children too, my husband can mirror my emotions.
I do know how things experienced in the evenings can impact my dreams, so I avoid some things.
There seems to be a heightened general anxiety world wide at the moment, none of this helps in our caring.
Enjoy the weekend.
The Banjoman certainly does not understand that what happens on TV is not there with him in his room. One morning when I phoned him he was totally convinced that the whole of the Bake Off team, complete with huge vehicle were there with him. Nothing I said could convince him otherwise. He even said that he “didn’t know how they were going to get the huge lorry out of here”!
I had an experience of this when I was sitting with an apparently deeply unconscious woman friend holding her hand. Her daughter was in the room and was talking about her mother’s desperate situation and hoping that she would die quickly. I felt a definite squeeze on my hand and I squeezed back and that was it. I feel sure that she had been aware of what her daughter was saying even though she was profoundly unconscious. Of course I shall never know but I have never forgotten it. She died later that night. I think touch is known to be of major importance for the dying because it’s such an instant communication.
I have been asked to write a series of bi monthly diaries for a local digital magazine - giving a no holds barred account of what it is like living with a person with dementia. I wrote the second article yesterday - it probably will have no effect but we can only keep trying.......
I do hope this is successful in raising awareness and able to demonstrate how much we need support for our caring role for very sick people. That seems to get lost in the white noise, that sufferers of dementia are sick just as any other disease.
I shall look forward to reading it, when I get disheartened I remember the Berlin Wall, no one expected that to happen either. Make sure you published the link for us. X
