Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's over seven months now since mum died. How can time go so fast? The initial few weeks and couple of months were horrendous, that awful sense of loss and all the horrible memories of dementia. I never thought I'd pull myself out of the misery of it all. But gradually, slowly, I seem to be returning to some kind of normal, something like the person I used to be before dementia entered our lives. I don't cry as much, though I still miss mum so much, and, fortunately, the dementia memories are starting to fade, just a little. I'm sure they will never leave me, but hopefully in time they will fade even further.
I survived the first few months by occupying myself and distracting myself as much as possible, and that worked. The evenings were the worst, just a terrible anguish that mum was no longer in the house. But now evenings are better, and of course the longer days help.
I still have no idea how I survived the horrors of what mum and I went through, but I did. Such a cruel and heart breaking illness. Why my mum? No answers anywhere to that one.
Life goes on, as I suspected it would. Our local surgery seems on the verge of crisis. No appointments to be had whenever I call. I will try again tomorrow. Don't know what's going on, it wasn't like that when mum was still alive. Perhaps they just cannot cope with the demand, but where are people supposed to go? I'll ask them that tomorrow!
My thoughts to everyone out there still battling with everything dementia throws at you, and to those with recent losses.
I survived the first few months by occupying myself and distracting myself as much as possible, and that worked. The evenings were the worst, just a terrible anguish that mum was no longer in the house. But now evenings are better, and of course the longer days help.
I still have no idea how I survived the horrors of what mum and I went through, but I did. Such a cruel and heart breaking illness. Why my mum? No answers anywhere to that one.
Life goes on, as I suspected it would. Our local surgery seems on the verge of crisis. No appointments to be had whenever I call. I will try again tomorrow. Don't know what's going on, it wasn't like that when mum was still alive. Perhaps they just cannot cope with the demand, but where are people supposed to go? I'll ask them that tomorrow!
My thoughts to everyone out there still battling with everything dementia throws at you, and to those with recent losses.
