Deciding NOT to get LPA?

[charlie10]

I would really appreciate people's comments as I'm not sure what to think now.

I've been aware that one one of the things you really should do for a pwd is to organise LPA for them to ensure they have family to make decisions. However if there is only one member of the family (including friends etc) who lives in the same country, but they are already making decisions that are more for their own convenience rather than the welfare of the pwd, would it be better not to battle for LPA but let it default to the SS (I say 'pwd' but he is not diagnosed and, at present, I believe he has capacity)

 

[jenniferpa]

The problem is, unless something truly disastrous (in a financial or criminal sense) happens the LA are very unlikely to step in. Because there isn’t really a default option. If the person currently making decisions isn’t making them in the person with dementia’s best interests I think you need to attempt to get formal control via an Lpa.

 

[charlie10]

thanks for your reply Jennifer, but I think we'd be as much use as a chocolate teapot as we're halfway round the world and can't afford trips back to the UK. I was thinking if there was no LPA before capacity was lost (and there's a lot of resistance to it from both of them) wouldn't SS take over unless other person was willing to do the CoP application (expensive and time consuming so unlikely!)

 

[Louise7]

Social services would not just step in and help someone with their finances. They could act as deputy following a CoP application but this would of course be dependant on capacity being lost. For info, whilst some on here have found social services to be helpful personal experience found that they were - to borrow your phrase - as much use as a chocolate tea pot!

 

[ChocolateBrownie]

Does PWD have a solicitor who could act on their behalf?

 

[charlie10]

no @ChocolateBrownie .....pwd is not in favour of anyone having control over him, doesnt believe it would be necessary....'carer in country' is very dismissive of there being dementia without a diagnosis. We're trying to be careful as we could be left totally out of the loop if we 'interfere' ie contact any official without permission from either of them. Pwd is also, I think, unwilling to deny carer in case he washes his hands of him. Family dynamics

 

[AliceA]

I can understand anyone not wanting to lose control. An LPA does not do that unless there is a loss of capacity.
We have these in place as does our daughter who is obviously young fit and able. These do allow someone who know us act in our interests in an emergency.
There are good and bad reasons to be dismissive before a diagnose, many symptoms are similar in several illnesses and should be ruled out. Has the family asked for a diagnosis?

 

[Sirena]

I've been aware that one one of the things you really should do for a pwd is to organise LPA for them to ensure they have family to make decisions.

That isn't quite right though. It is your FIL who would need to make that decision to do an LPA, and from all your have said previously he isn't willing to do it anyway.

Does the relative currently have access to the PWD's money? If/when capacity is lost, someone will need it either via LPA or CoP.

(You can set up a financial LPA to only 'start' when capacity is lost - you then have the problem of getting someone to confirm that - or you can set it up to start whenever the donor chooses.)

 

[AliceA]

When we decided to get ourselves an LPA for both health/welfare our daughter decided to get hers organised.
With my own parents I found the best approach was to organise for ourselves, tell them and they followed suit.

As people in our eighties, we still have the need to feel in control of our lives, I fully for both of us, my husband to a much lesser extent in the financial sense, I do refer when suitable.
I do try to involved him in all possible decisions, some days these are loaded to the situation.
Some days I just do it, saying sorry but it was urgent because..... some days I just go ahead on the need to know basis.
Hence not do you want to wear a coat but this coat or that coat. Financial is the same where possible.
Flexibility is the name of the game.

Leading by example rather than imposing ideas the we ourselves might not be willing do personally.
Being in a hospital always means a loss of control at whatever age, so it is understandable why someone resists.
Families always see a person according to there own experience of that person. This can complicate the approach needed.

 

[silkiest]

There are many reasons everyone needs a POA for finance. Insurance companies, councils, utilities will not talk to you unless there is one in place or the account holder can verify each time it is ok to talk to them. If someone is in hospital/ unavailable for whatever reason and an emergency arises it cannot be dealt with. We had a burst water pipe when on an extended holiday to Australia - the insurance companies refused to speak to my son and with the time difference neither could we - you can imagine the problems when we returned.

 

[Banjomansmate]

If your Fil keeps refusing and your Bil deems an LPA unnecessary just try pointing out to them that if/when one becomes necessary it will be taken over by the Court of Protection and that not only costs more then putting one in place now (they charge for their services) but it is a lot more hassle having to keep financial records.

Personally I think your husband should be one of the Attorneys so that he can keep an eye on things through telephone/internet banking and it would help if there was a family friend in the UK who was available too but appreciate that might not be possible if Fil has not been a social person!