Hi all its sometime since I posted, mum is still in the CH albeit she has had a few A&E visits . Anyway my brother and I visited mum yesterday morning large display of flowers in hand,mum was in a good mood and we 3 laughed together over silly things. Brother and I left her after the visit seemingly happy. I received a call from the home after a couple of hours saying mum had gone missing. Dashed up to the home in my car still in my slippers ,mum still not been found everyone out searching police informed . To cut a long story short she was eventually found, had been on a bus , found by some people and taken to another CH as she was now some miles away. They looked after her as I made a mad dash to pick her up . The nightmare now continues as she is now in a more secure part of the CH . Don't know what is best or next
What a Mother's Day
- Thread starter Cocoloco
- Start date
How on earth did your Mum get out of the care home ! That Is definitely something to ask the manager. There is no way anyone could get out of my Mum's care home. A member of staff has to put a code in to open the door.
Susan
Dear Coco,
I just had to reply I remember when dad got out before he was in a home so I can't imagine how you felt when your mum got out of a care home. I just want to suggest that it may have been a visitor not shutting the door properly.
I hope you have calmed down now
MaNaAk
My mother could have given Houdini a run for his money.
On special occasions such as Mother`s day, care homes often get more visitors than usual and because this happening was at the weekend when agency carers are also often on duty, they may not know all residents, especially when they present well.
My mother escaped from a secure unit when a new member of staff was coming on duty and my mother was able to assure her she was a visitor.
My mother also absconded once, I think they kept a better eye on her after. Now all visitors ring the bell and have to be asked to be let out - I think a visitor inadvertently let a resident out previously. Hopefully she will settle. It was a phase with my Mum and she is now calmer
Thanks for all your replies. I must admit when i got the phone call i have never felt so sick . Running round with the staff made me feel frantic until we got the call that she had been found. I couldon't believe she had got so far . Mum is a cunning old fox and being Mother's Day and the CH being so busy I believe a visitor has let mum out as she doesn't look like there is anything wrong with her , she was dressed up as well for Mother's Day . The CH has all the required key pad locks etc Obviously the CH are looking at investigating as it has been report to the LA . Unfortunately now for mum she has had to go into a extra secure part of the CH and I know she will not take this change well . It's awful to see this strong headed independent woman just being ebbed away by this illness . Although I know she needs to be safe and that is of paramount importance I am left feeling tired,sick and devastated it feels like one step forward and 10 steps back. Mum has no memory of her actions she just doesn't understand why her room etc isn't the same
It is more than 10 years ago now, but my Mother managed to escape from her care home by climbing out of the bedroom window at about 3am. She wasn't very fit but obviously determined. Once out, though, she just went to some nearby houses and knocked on a few doors until someone answered and helped her. It ought not to be possible but can be done. Even longer ago, my wife's father did the same thing twice in one day - and that was from a psychiatric assessment unit not a care home - both times managing to walk 5 miles home.
Thank you all for the reassurances. I went to the CH on Monday mum was tired out after her travels so spent most of the time asleep in the temporary bedroom in the more secure unit of the CH. I sorted out what room she will now be having , speaking to the management etc. Didn't visit yesterday, another story. Went this morning and I just feel so sad.
Mum looks like she has aged overnight, her condition feels like it has deteriorated rapidly, her confusion is so much worse . I know all the moving of rooms etc will have impacted on her and once she settles again she may become more stable. I also know she may not and this could be the decline that this awful illness throws at her.
I cannot believe what a difference a few days can make 4 days since Sunday, yes she was confused then , but we did manage to have a laugh together, today just was so bad . I am not sure why I feel so upset, I have read all about the dementia, followed hundreds of threads on this site, cried at other people's journey's, all to prepare myself on what's to come. I thought I was prepared. More fool me. I feel sad for her and sad for me . Sorry for the rant
Mum looks like she has aged overnight, her condition feels like it has deteriorated rapidly, her confusion is so much worse . I know all the moving of rooms etc will have impacted on her and once she settles again she may become more stable. I also know she may not and this could be the decline that this awful illness throws at her.
I cannot believe what a difference a few days can make 4 days since Sunday, yes she was confused then , but we did manage to have a laugh together, today just was so bad . I am not sure why I feel so upset, I have read all about the dementia, followed hundreds of threads on this site, cried at other people's journey's, all to prepare myself on what's to come. I thought I was prepared. More fool me. I feel sad for her and sad for me . Sorry for the rant
Don't despair yet, she may recover to her previous level. My mother moved rooms in her care home last June because she fell and broke her hip, so she needed a level-access room. After the hospital stay, surgery for hip replacement and the room move, she seemed to have deteriorated. But within a few weeks she improved again and it didn't seem to have any longterm effect on her.
