my OH Wears extra clothes in bed. He has to have two shirts in top of his pj s and three pairs of socks, the latest is leaving his underclothes in as well. It wouldn’t be so bad but doesn’t take all the clothes off the next morning unless I make him have a shower. Night times are horrendous, he starts locking doors windows and blinds from five pm even though we have no immediate neighbours and then repeats this excercise twenty times before he finally goes to bed, then till he is really settled will keep getting out of bed to make sure everything done, I know they have what they call sundowners but this is beyond a joke. Thanks for your help. Have mentioned it to the GP but he said just ignore him and let him get in with it,
OH wearing extra clothes in bed,very done,
- Thread starter Maryland
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Hi @Maryland. I can somewhat empathise with you. My dad is doubly incontinent and at times we think that he thinks the process is when he is wet or goes to use the toilet, he sometimes has to take off all his clothes. At times he then puts on just his trousers without the briefs/tena pants.
If he feels wet or need the toilet whilst lying down, he not only does his strip but strips the bed too. And then goes back to lie down on the stripped bed.
He has on occasion also put on a few of the same clothes at the same time, sometimes not on the right body part, and has an issue with wearing difference socks, even if you've put on the same pair on him at the start of the day, somehow somewhere one of them will go missing and another will be in its place.
To some extent, if the odd behaviour is not bothering anyone or causing expense/noise/etc, we do let him get on with it. Of course, we will ask if he wants to put something on, if he is cold, put the bed clothes back on, but it's done in time. We can't keep covering for every behaviour otherwise we will tire ourselves out watching him like a hawk each day! All the best to you.
If he feels wet or need the toilet whilst lying down, he not only does his strip but strips the bed too. And then goes back to lie down on the stripped bed.
He has on occasion also put on a few of the same clothes at the same time, sometimes not on the right body part, and has an issue with wearing difference socks, even if you've put on the same pair on him at the start of the day, somehow somewhere one of them will go missing and another will be in its place.
To some extent, if the odd behaviour is not bothering anyone or causing expense/noise/etc, we do let him get on with it. Of course, we will ask if he wants to put something on, if he is cold, put the bed clothes back on, but it's done in time. We can't keep covering for every behaviour otherwise we will tire ourselves out watching him like a hawk each day! All the best to you.
I have to say that I tend to agree with the GP.
I sometimes look at my wife with all her layers on and think, 'what on earth', but then let her be if no harm is being done.
Sometimes we just have to embrace the sheer weirdness of it all.
I sometimes look at my wife with all her layers on and think, 'what on earth', but then let her be if no harm is being done.
Sometimes we just have to embrace the sheer weirdness of it all.
My Dad has mixed dementia, lives alone but next door to me.
I suspected Dad sleeping in his clothes, but didnt think too much of it until he got a flea infestation in his bed.
He would wear his day clothes, go out in the garden, wear them to bed. Spent a lot of money getting pest control in, carpets & mattress cleaned, new bedding & pjs.
Now its twice weekly bed checks, and ensuring he changes his clothes more often whether he likes it or not.
I suspected Dad sleeping in his clothes, but didnt think too much of it until he got a flea infestation in his bed.
He would wear his day clothes, go out in the garden, wear them to bed. Spent a lot of money getting pest control in, carpets & mattress cleaned, new bedding & pjs.
Now its twice weekly bed checks, and ensuring he changes his clothes more often whether he likes it or not.
The closing of windows at 5 pm reminded me of my mother, OP.
She would insist on closing all windows/curtains by 5 pm even in a heatwave in summer - and she lived in one of the warmest parts of the UK. And she'd started smoking heavily!
I would have to insist on opening a window, but the instant I went to the loo or into the kitchen, she'd shut everything again.
She would also go to bed very early - even before she was very bad I'd arrive for my usual 'sleepover' at around 5 ish, only to find that she'd gone to bed, front door locked and bolted, so I had to knock very loudly to be let in.
I don't know what the answer is - I'm afraid I never found one, but just sending lots of sympathy.
As for the clothes issue, I would just let him get on with it.
The obsessive checking is another thing I can relate to. Long before she was really bad, I could not longer take my mother out even just to the supermarket - half a mile down the road she'd be in a panic about doors/windows/gas - even though we'd checked them together - and I'd have to take her back.
I even made checklists, so we could go round together and each tick a box for everything, so she could have that on her lap in the car. It didn't work - I'd still have to take her back after a few minutes. So sadly that was the end of taking her anywhere.
She would insist on closing all windows/curtains by 5 pm even in a heatwave in summer - and she lived in one of the warmest parts of the UK. And she'd started smoking heavily!
I would have to insist on opening a window, but the instant I went to the loo or into the kitchen, she'd shut everything again.
She would also go to bed very early - even before she was very bad I'd arrive for my usual 'sleepover' at around 5 ish, only to find that she'd gone to bed, front door locked and bolted, so I had to knock very loudly to be let in.
I don't know what the answer is - I'm afraid I never found one, but just sending lots of sympathy.
As for the clothes issue, I would just let him get on with it.
The obsessive checking is another thing I can relate to. Long before she was really bad, I could not longer take my mother out even just to the supermarket - half a mile down the road she'd be in a panic about doors/windows/gas - even though we'd checked them together - and I'd have to take her back.
I even made checklists, so we could go round together and each tick a box for everything, so she could have that on her lap in the car. It didn't work - I'd still have to take her back after a few minutes. So sadly that was the end of taking her anywhere.
Thanks myss. My problem not as bad as yours then at the minute at least he is not stripping the bed. I like you though keep finding socks all over th house ! The jam jar is another problem - it has a mind of its own. We have a ghost in our house that keeps movin things and doing the jigsaw itself, at least he is safe at the minute.
Have a good day it’s nice to know I not in my own, thanks,xx
Thanks Witzend so it is not just me,!!!!! I will just have to curb my tongue and count to ten !!! Hard though - doctor said just let him do it and go back and open them when he not looking but this can go in all night, HAPPY DAYS !!! He is the same though when we go out BT as yet haven’t had to go back.
Thanks
Oh I remember that summer heatwave, I had to move in with dad for a month to make sure he would eat etc Yep windows shut and blinds drawn very early and no convincing him otherwise. I just went to bed early in his spare bedroom and opened all of the windows and put on the ceiling fan. Thing is dad's got wooden shutters inside his windows so to open a window I had to open the shutter first and to open the shutter I had to move all of his little nick nacks (and there are many) out of the way and then put them back again. What a palaver that was. I much prefer the cooler weather.
Every night just before bedtime I give my wife a nightie in the hope that she will undress before putting it on. Of course she doesn't, just puts the nightie on over the clothes that she has worn all day, puts her hat back on her head and goes to bed like that. I have stopped bothering about it as I no longer share her bed. In the morning it is a struggle to get her to take everything off and put on clean clothes but I usually manage to get her to do it. Washing is a different matter ...
Sorry Northumbrian-k - must be a northern thing I am in your neck of the woods. I just laughing at the hat !! Sorry if you don’t laugh you cry!, he just in the ritual now if checking that I have drawn and locked everything - as you said let them get on with it if you can - hard I know, Thanks it’s not just me xx
My husband spent 9 weeks in an assessment unit before going into a nursing home. We visited him daily and once found him with many layers on. After a bit of persuasion he allowed us to peel the layers away. We finally got down to his usual polo shirt and sweatshirt. He then walked over to the mirror to adjust the collar of his sweatshirt. He looked in the mirror and then down at himself and announced that the man over there had a sweatshirt on the same as his.
We had laughed with him as we peeled off the layers because he thought it was funny but then cried because we realised he now did not recognise himself. He had lost me a couple of years before but so sad that he had now lost himself.
We had laughed with him as we peeled off the layers because he thought it was funny but then cried because we realised he now did not recognise himself. He had lost me a couple of years before but so sad that he had now lost himself.
I remember visiting mum and discovered her trying to get dressed. She was in a terrible pickle and I managed to persuade her to take everything off and start again. I then discovered that she was wearing 2 pairs of pants, then her PJs, then another 3 pairs of pants, then her ordinary trousers and had been struggling to get yet another pair of pants on over the top!
On another occasion I found mum in her care home with multiple T-shirts on and as I peeled them off I discovered she was wearing 7 (yes, 7) T-shirts, not all of them hers. She had been complaining that she was hot and I really wasnt surprised!
Sometimes, you just have to laugh.
On another occasion I found mum in her care home with multiple T-shirts on and as I peeled them off I discovered she was wearing 7 (yes, 7) T-shirts, not all of them hers. She had been complaining that she was hot and I really wasnt surprised!
Sometimes, you just have to laugh.
Every morning my OH tries to put his vest on over his thick towelling bathrobe. It is so hard to do but he perseveres. Where is the little inkling which says "This cannot be right, dressing should not be this difficult"? On a few occasions he has succeeded and extracting him from said combination is a nightmare.
My wife no longer recognises herself in the mirror, and seems to think that she is seeing a friend, and will spend quite a while chatting quite happily to her reflection. I'm torn between being glad that this simple thing makes her happy, and feeling desperately sad as another part of her has been taken away. I look after dressing her, so we don't have the issues with too many layers, but I dare say we would otherwise. She is chatting away to the mirror as I type this . . .
