I suddenly find myself in abject misery. I have been looking after OH (unmarried but together many years) full time but with carers giving me one night off. Suddenly the excellent carer left, and the agency let me down. What had been a smooth rolling programme stopped suddenly (we are self paying) and OH developed symptoms of a UTI. His dementia became markedly worse and antibiotics were given blind but his behaviour of ranting and raving continued albeit intermittently. The GP doesn’t engage and accessing SS has been difficult although I am in the system but awaiting assessments. Most of the time I just want advice or to talk to someone. I have asked about the urine samples but they say no growth. He has a catheter which doesn’t help.
Two days ago after a long period of ranting I left the room and went to bed at 6pm. I could hear him wandering about but then he came up and said I’m in trouble, I’ve called the police. Apparently he had “seen me being bundled into a white van in the street and being driven away”. I checked his phone and he had dialled 999 and 111 several times. Both paramedics and police arrived and they both talked to me separately. He couldn’t remember anything clearly but he hosts with people like this. The paramedic said he and I could go to A and E now and be seen by the duty psychiatrist and assessed. It was now 1000 at night and as he had settled I said I would get an appointment with the GP in the morning. We went to bed and I gave 1mg of Lorazepam and he was fine for an hour but then hallucinated for four hours solid which worried and frightened me as he had acted out one hallucination. I thought I might have made a mistake in not going to A and E but they told me to call 999 if I was worried. I spoke to the duty doctor and he sent paramedics again. I had got us both dressed and gathered together spare clothes and his medical file. This time the paramedic said why are you calling us? I handed her the advice from the first team and she said that will never happen you will be sent home; It’s the GP and social services who engineer assessments. I was utterly confused, overwrought and broke down. She said you have acopia? so if you want him to go to AandE he has to go on his own. I was horrified at the thought, as he’s never left alone, but so distraught I just nodded when she pressed for a decision. She said let the hospital deal with this and you take a break from it, ie stay away. OH got into the ambulance and that’s the last I saw of him. Ok we were struggling but I was organising more care (it all takes so long) so that we could continue to live in his home together and I could get breaks in place to allow this. I am now totally at sea and I don’t know what to do because I seem to have put us in a situation where I am excluded and I don’t know what the implications are, He has been in this hospital several times in the last year and my name is on their system as partner carer. I did ring without saying who I was and know the ward he is on which also stresses me. I asked his nephew to visit who said he was ok. The receptionist would not divulge any information but said he mentioned my name quite a bit. This has happened so quickly I am in shock. I have gone from managing everything to being excluded in a space of 24 hours. Does anyone have experience of this? Any advice would be welcomed. Thank you.
Two days ago after a long period of ranting I left the room and went to bed at 6pm. I could hear him wandering about but then he came up and said I’m in trouble, I’ve called the police. Apparently he had “seen me being bundled into a white van in the street and being driven away”. I checked his phone and he had dialled 999 and 111 several times. Both paramedics and police arrived and they both talked to me separately. He couldn’t remember anything clearly but he hosts with people like this. The paramedic said he and I could go to A and E now and be seen by the duty psychiatrist and assessed. It was now 1000 at night and as he had settled I said I would get an appointment with the GP in the morning. We went to bed and I gave 1mg of Lorazepam and he was fine for an hour but then hallucinated for four hours solid which worried and frightened me as he had acted out one hallucination. I thought I might have made a mistake in not going to A and E but they told me to call 999 if I was worried. I spoke to the duty doctor and he sent paramedics again. I had got us both dressed and gathered together spare clothes and his medical file. This time the paramedic said why are you calling us? I handed her the advice from the first team and she said that will never happen you will be sent home; It’s the GP and social services who engineer assessments. I was utterly confused, overwrought and broke down. She said you have acopia? so if you want him to go to AandE he has to go on his own. I was horrified at the thought, as he’s never left alone, but so distraught I just nodded when she pressed for a decision. She said let the hospital deal with this and you take a break from it, ie stay away. OH got into the ambulance and that’s the last I saw of him. Ok we were struggling but I was organising more care (it all takes so long) so that we could continue to live in his home together and I could get breaks in place to allow this. I am now totally at sea and I don’t know what to do because I seem to have put us in a situation where I am excluded and I don’t know what the implications are, He has been in this hospital several times in the last year and my name is on their system as partner carer. I did ring without saying who I was and know the ward he is on which also stresses me. I asked his nephew to visit who said he was ok. The receptionist would not divulge any information but said he mentioned my name quite a bit. This has happened so quickly I am in shock. I have gone from managing everything to being excluded in a space of 24 hours. Does anyone have experience of this? Any advice would be welcomed. Thank you.
