Good evening everybody,
First post and I'm looking for a bit of feedback please. My Mum is 80 and is in the latter stages of dementia. I gave up work and my life to look after her at her home for three years when the rest of my family couldn't be bothered. They didn't want me to do it (long story based on family politics) but wouldn't do it themselves. I don't have to tell anybody here but it was the toughest thing I have ever done, or ever will. Despite that, I took it hard when Mum had to go into a home. I was on my knees.
Initially the home was okay, I supported them in their promotions, fayres, etc., and saw my Mum nearly every day. The more I saw, the more I discovered. She was left in a bed of urine crying, she was unwashed for days, her underwear was filthy, etc.
I complained to her social worker and tried to bring the care home management to task. I worked with them for months. They'd asked me not to take her out while her meds were changed and so for two months Mum saw nothing but her room walls. Still, despite all the promises, Mum was unclean and distressed.
She was attacked by another resident.
I want to move her to another home.
Social services have just visited saying it's a good place, they are going to improve, meet them and negotiate a middle ground. Except I have lost faith in the care home management. A lot of lies have been spread about me during the course of my official complaint. How do I leave Mum in their care when they have already failed before?
Social Services have said the home could be worse, why don't you give it a month and see etc. I feel they are settling. That to them Mum is just another 'little old lady'. they even said to me assaults and uncleanliness and staff shortages will happen. It's just care homes.
I would have to go to the Court of Protection. I am prepared but am I being selfish? Let me know what you think.
First post and I'm looking for a bit of feedback please. My Mum is 80 and is in the latter stages of dementia. I gave up work and my life to look after her at her home for three years when the rest of my family couldn't be bothered. They didn't want me to do it (long story based on family politics) but wouldn't do it themselves. I don't have to tell anybody here but it was the toughest thing I have ever done, or ever will. Despite that, I took it hard when Mum had to go into a home. I was on my knees.
Initially the home was okay, I supported them in their promotions, fayres, etc., and saw my Mum nearly every day. The more I saw, the more I discovered. She was left in a bed of urine crying, she was unwashed for days, her underwear was filthy, etc.
I complained to her social worker and tried to bring the care home management to task. I worked with them for months. They'd asked me not to take her out while her meds were changed and so for two months Mum saw nothing but her room walls. Still, despite all the promises, Mum was unclean and distressed.
She was attacked by another resident.
I want to move her to another home.
Social services have just visited saying it's a good place, they are going to improve, meet them and negotiate a middle ground. Except I have lost faith in the care home management. A lot of lies have been spread about me during the course of my official complaint. How do I leave Mum in their care when they have already failed before?
Social Services have said the home could be worse, why don't you give it a month and see etc. I feel they are settling. That to them Mum is just another 'little old lady'. they even said to me assaults and uncleanliness and staff shortages will happen. It's just care homes.
I would have to go to the Court of Protection. I am prepared but am I being selfish? Let me know what you think.
