Day 1
We were awake briefly at 5am yesterday when, unusually for her, my wife got up to use the toilet. She then started to get dressed for the day and it took some persuading to get her back to bed. Her home support arrived at 9:30 and I headed off on my bike as usual, leaving her to organise getting my wife to the Centre for her respite stay. Later in the morning I took a phone call from the Centre about my wife's medication regimen, which showed that she had arrived there safely.
With no-one in to look after the dog's toilet needs I cut short my bike ride by not stopping at the café and was back home by 1:15. He seemed a little more concerned than usual about being on his own and was clearly looking for my wife, which gave me a brief teary moment as I hugged him.
In the evening it was good to visit a pub that we used to go to together and to hear a friend performing live music at a local club. Such things are now near impossible when my wife is here and, although I was on my own, it was a pleasant change from sitting watching boring television whilst she dozes.
Day 2
Things are so much easier to do when I don’t have to attend to my wife all the time, judging her moods, dealing with her questions, trying to meet her needs and to allay her fears. Going for the weekly shop today was simple without the constant questions about where we were going and how long it would take. It was nice to be able to go around the supermarket without being told - with only a few things in the trolley - that we had enough and it was time to go.
I did not have to explain all the way to the beach where we were going. There were no sinister men looking at us and wanting to steal the dog. And I was able to let him off the lead for a joyous run with no criticism that I risked him running away.
Already this period of respite is bringing home to me just how hard I have to work to achieve even a poor semblance of normality when my wife is here. I miss her very much but no more, I think, than when she is with me, because she is now a much different and more difficult person since Alzheimer’s disease took over our lives. I am worried how she is dealing with being away from home and her much-loved dog and will probably never know for sure how it has affected her.
But one thing is clear, this short respite has so far been a positive experience for me, and that can only enhance the love and care that I can show her when she returns on Sunday.
We were awake briefly at 5am yesterday when, unusually for her, my wife got up to use the toilet. She then started to get dressed for the day and it took some persuading to get her back to bed. Her home support arrived at 9:30 and I headed off on my bike as usual, leaving her to organise getting my wife to the Centre for her respite stay. Later in the morning I took a phone call from the Centre about my wife's medication regimen, which showed that she had arrived there safely.
With no-one in to look after the dog's toilet needs I cut short my bike ride by not stopping at the café and was back home by 1:15. He seemed a little more concerned than usual about being on his own and was clearly looking for my wife, which gave me a brief teary moment as I hugged him.
In the evening it was good to visit a pub that we used to go to together and to hear a friend performing live music at a local club. Such things are now near impossible when my wife is here and, although I was on my own, it was a pleasant change from sitting watching boring television whilst she dozes.
Day 2
Things are so much easier to do when I don’t have to attend to my wife all the time, judging her moods, dealing with her questions, trying to meet her needs and to allay her fears. Going for the weekly shop today was simple without the constant questions about where we were going and how long it would take. It was nice to be able to go around the supermarket without being told - with only a few things in the trolley - that we had enough and it was time to go.
I did not have to explain all the way to the beach where we were going. There were no sinister men looking at us and wanting to steal the dog. And I was able to let him off the lead for a joyous run with no criticism that I risked him running away.
Already this period of respite is bringing home to me just how hard I have to work to achieve even a poor semblance of normality when my wife is here. I miss her very much but no more, I think, than when she is with me, because she is now a much different and more difficult person since Alzheimer’s disease took over our lives. I am worried how she is dealing with being away from home and her much-loved dog and will probably never know for sure how it has affected her.
But one thing is clear, this short respite has so far been a positive experience for me, and that can only enhance the love and care that I can show her when she returns on Sunday.
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