They are sectioning her tomorrow...

[Jules2018]

My mum has vascular dementia. She was sectioned at Christmas and taken to a psychiatric unit. It was a terrible experience for us all but especially my mum. She was so scared and freaked out. They lock them in their rooms at night. When they would 'lock her up' became an fixation for her. It was a huge worry. Well, since then she's been home with visiting care. It hasn't worked. We were on care provider no.2 but my mum became aggressive and refused to have them stay most days. Without warning they removed care summarily..just like that. I desperately tried to get her into a home for respite but that's not working. The home I wanted her to go to won't take her. They don't think they'd be able to help her..which is fair enough. I respect their view, and accept it. Now....in the absence of any care package they're going to section her again. They want to do it before the weekend. Because of bed shortages they'll likely take her back to the same place she was in before. I really think this time that'll be it. I don't think she'll ever get home again. Tonight could be her last night 'free' ..ever.

I live 250 miles away ... I feel useless. I feel upset and sad and angry.. mostly sad and lost. I don't know what anyone can say.. I just wanted to tell someone. x

 

[Scriv]

My mum has vascular dementia. She was sectioned at Christmas and taken to a psychiatric unit. It was a terrible experience for us all but especially my mum. She was so scared and freaked out. They lock them in their rooms at night. When they would 'lock her up' became an fixation for her. It was a huge worry. Well, since then she's been home with visiting care. It hasn't worked. We were on care provider no.2 but my mum became aggressive and refused to have them stay most days. Without warning they removed care summarily..just like that. I desperately tried to get her into a home for respite but that's not working. The home I wanted her to go to won't take her. They don't think they'd be able to help her..which is fair enough. I respect their view, and accept it. Now....in the absence of any care package they're going to section her again. They want to do it before the weekend. Because of bed shortages they'll likely take her back to the same place she was in before. I really think this time that'll be it. I don't think she'll ever get home again. Tonight could be her last night 'free' ..ever.

I live 250 miles away ... I feel useless. I feel upset and sad and angry.. mostly sad and lost. I don't know what anyone can say.. I just wanted to tell someone. x

Jules, don't despair...it might end up being a good thing. My relative was sectioned under section 2 for full assessment and it was the best thing that happened. They went right back to basics with him and his medication and although they obviously could not control the dementia, they did manage to make him a lot less aggressive.
They also recommended that he needed a home with 24/7 EMI care. This assessment helped us sort out the homes that really could cope with his challenging behaviour and we managed to get him very successfully placed.
If she has been in there before and needing to return, I would imagine there could be a pressure on them to get it right this time.
Good luck.

 

[Amethyst59]

My mum has vascular dementia. She was sectioned at Christmas and taken to a psychiatric unit. It was a terrible experience for us all but especially my mum. She was so scared and freaked out. They lock them in their rooms at night. When they would 'lock her up' became an fixation for her. It was a huge worry. Well, since then she's been home with visiting care. It hasn't worked. We were on care provider no.2 but my mum became aggressive and refused to have them stay most days. Without warning they removed care summarily..just like that. I desperately tried to get her into a home for respite but that's not working. The home I wanted her to go to won't take her. They don't think they'd be able to help her..which is fair enough. I respect their view, and accept it. Now....in the absence of any care package they're going to section her again. They want to do it before the weekend. Because of bed shortages they'll likely take her back to the same place she was in before. I really think this time that'll be it. I don't think she'll ever get home again. Tonight could be her last night 'free' ..ever.

I live 250 miles away ... I feel useless. I feel upset and sad and angry.. mostly sad and lost. I don't know what anyone can say.. I just wanted to tell someone. x

Oh, what a sad post, but I’m so pleased that @Scriv had such an encouraging tale to tell. Hope fully it will be the same for your poor mum. Please let us know how she gets on. Good old Talking Point. There is always someone who has ‘been there’ before you.

 

[Jules2018]

Jules, don't despair...it might end up being a good thing. My relative was sectioned under section 2 for full assessment and it was the best thing that happened. They went right back to basics with him and his medication and although they obviously could not control the dementia, they did manage to make him a lot less aggressive.
They also recommended that he needed a home with 24/7 EMI care. This assessment helped us sort out the homes that really could cope with his challenging behaviour and we managed to get him very successfully placed.
If she has been in there before and needing to return, I would imagine there could be a pressure on them to get it right this time.
Good luck.

Thank you, that's a very encouraging response. I really hope that they can help her. My worry is that she became a bit of a vegetable within days of going inlets time...and then there was the lying in her bed sobbing uncontrollably. Well, lets see what unfolds. I am, at least, hopeful that we'll get some help (as you say) with what happens next. Cheers for your thoughts!

 

[Jules2018]

Oh, what a sad post, but I’m so pleased that @Scriv had such an encouraging tale to tell. Hope fully it will be the same for your poor mum. Please let us know how she gets on. Good old Talking Point. There is always someone who has ‘been there’ before you.

Thank you! yes, this place is going to be very helpful I think. The update is this: They did indeed section her today (Section 2). They tried to find an alternative ward to the one last time but failed...so she's going back to that awful place. She understood enough to know that and refused to go. they were actually requesting the police to manhandle her into the ambulance when the crew arrived. Thankfully she allowed the crew to talk her into going..so, importantly, she left the house fully dressed, in a smart coat with dignity. Both myself and my brother (who lives in Qatar) called her today - we both felt it might be the last time we'd be able to call her at home.

The consultant has asked that she be moved to our local hospital as soon as a bed becomes available. Somehow it's important to me. My dad was a doctor and my mum a nurse so they both had professional dealings with that hospital. We need these small things to get us through.

 

[Zuzu72]

Thank you! yes, this place is going to be very helpful I think. The update is this: They did indeed section her today (Section 2). They tried to find an alternative ward to the one last time but failed...so she's going back to that awful place. She understood enough to know that and refused to go. they were actually requesting the police to manhandle her into the ambulance when the crew arrived. Thankfully she allowed the crew to talk her into going..so, importantly, she left the house fully dressed, in a smart coat with dignity. Both myself and my brother (who lives in Qatar) called her today - we both felt it might be the last time we'd be able to call her at home.

The consultant has asked that she be moved to our local hospital as soon as a bed becomes available. Somehow it's important to me. My dad was a doctor and my mum a nurse so they both had professional dealings with that hospital. We need these small things to get us through.

 

[Zuzu72]

My mum has vascular & is end stage & violent, currently she's In hospital, where she is safe at the moment . My heart goes out to you & I hope your mum gets moved asap, it's horrible when they're so scared (like a little kid), I understand how you feel about the ambulance (My mum's gone out wrapped in a sheet so she can't move & shouting before now). It hurts to see it at the time but really makes no difference they're still your mum or dad & it's a truly terrible illness.
Sending you good wishes x

 

[Kevinl]

I can only say that I agree with Scriv, my wife was section 2 (28 days) then section 3 for 5-6 months in a secure unit. The paramedics wouldn't take her in an ambulance and she ended up in the cage in the back of a police van on her trip to hospital, it isn't good but in the unit she got more attention and treatment than she ever got from the memory clinic.
After about 7 months she was stable and no longer violent and moved to an EMI nursing home and will have been there for 2 years next month.
The secure unit wasn't the best place in the world but it was the best thing that happened in some respects, without it who knows what would have happened.
Sadly my wife has episodic stages of decline not the slow progressive decline that many people seem to do, it made it very difficult and when things changed they changed very suddenly and quickly. When aggression and violence come into the mix it makes a bad situation even worse and harder to deal with.
Hopefully they can find a suitable medication to calm her down and maybe go home but how long that will work for is a different matter. AZ is a downhill slope and all they can do is use a short term "sticking plaster" solution, it's a war we're all destined to lose no matter how hard we battle against it.
K

 

[Scriv]

We all feel for you, Jules, and so hope that you manage to get your mum to the local hospital. This really is an awful illness to deal with and before it happened, we really had no idea at all how awful it was for the sufferer and the whol family involved.
My PWD's wife is also deteriorating fast with dementia now and approaching the aggression stage, but not as bad as he was. What hurts me is how miserable she is and how horrible to the staff in the wonderful NH where they are bending over backwards to help her. My other fear all the time is that they will throw her out.. but I daren't go there in my thoughts.
Good luck to you all xx